Joker77 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 You will get through it all. It has been two months since my ex broke up with me. I can't believe how fast the time has gone by. If you would have told me on November 30th that I would be feeling the way I do now, I would have called you a liar. Yeah I have my bad days every now and then, but they aren't like the night the breakup occured via text message. I thought my world was over that night. Here I am two months later. I have been going to the gym 3-5 times a week since it happened and I feel so much better. There is light at the end of the tunnell everyone. It all depends on whether you choose to go towards the light or back towards the darkness. And also, NC is the way to go. I had a few stumbles over the two months, but have been contact free for over a month. Good luck to all of you.
Knight_Ctrl Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Joker77 is right, he and I got dumped roughly the same time and I think got here at about the same time as well. And I agree 100% I would've never thought that I could have come as far as I have. Good days, yes. Bad days, sometimes. But CONSTANT thinking has gone and I finally find myself getting back to things that I enjoy doing. Like video games and stuff to keep myself distracted. Stay strong fellas, you can all get there too.
Author Joker77 Posted February 6, 2009 Author Posted February 6, 2009 Joker77 is right, he and I got dumped roughly the same time and I think got here at about the same time as well. And I agree 100% I would've never thought that I could have come as far as I have. Good days, yes. Bad days, sometimes. But CONSTANT thinking has gone and I finally find myself getting back to things that I enjoy doing. Like video games and stuff to keep myself distracted. Stay strong fellas, you can all get there too. It's amazing how rational you can be once you are thinking clearly. I have had time to think about how flaky she was and how she treated me during that last week after I had taken care of her daughter the week before. That basically made me realize that never again would I be someone's rebound or toy to play with until they got bored.
EmperorR Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Agree 100%, i still think of my ex once in a while the good times etc. But i realize i was the only one in the relationship sacrificing, my ex was always cranky from day one nothing I ever semeed to do was good enough, I should have dumped her long ago looking back the signs were there. "School is the most important thing in my life", "I love my cat more than you" Every day it gets less and less that sometimes its like I have to force myself to think.
IcemanJB Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 So true man. Just imagine where you'll be in 4 months! I'm almost 4 months to the day that she broke up with me. I finally got the balls to put it behind me, and don't plan on ignoring her anymore, added her back on FB, etc. Why? Because I'm fine with anything she may do or say to me. I'm indifferent, and I think that's the indication that it's all good now. I still think of her every day, but the longing for her and feeling like crap is long gone. My life has moved forward. The idea of the next girl is really exciting to me. I'll always remember the good times we had, but it doesn't really hurt anymore. Glad to see you're doing well, keep it up and just imagine how well you'll be in a couple more months.
sad_panda Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 It has almost been two months since we broke up. He dumped me on the first day of an out-of-town trip, and I had to endure the 6-hour bus ride alone, crying all the way. The bastard had the nerve to stay and finish the trip with our common friends who were also with us then. My world crumbled that day. I was a wreck for about a week. Then after ten days I finally understood that we were not right for each other and I had to let him go. But even with that realization it wasn't easy to go on. I still missed him terribly and still felt hurt by his sudden rejection and betrayal. On top of all that, I struggled to forgive myself for my shortcomings and mistakes in our relationship. But I took it one day at a time. I believe in God so I focused a lot on prayers and reflection. I became more active in church. I reconnected with old friends who I neglected when I had been in a relationship. I've been going to the gym everyday. I've been trying new things like yoga, boxing, etc. Early this week I found out that he's dating someone new, and has been doing so just a week or two after we broke up. It did hurt and I cried a lot, but I bounced back quickly. If there's one thing I learned, it's that things are not always as bad as we imagine them to be. During week one of the breakup, my greatest fear was hearing about him finding someone else, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to take it. Well it happened much sooner than I thought (so soon that perhaps he even cheated on me), but I was able to take it relatively well. I still miss him, but not as badly as I did at first. In fact, I hardly miss him at all because my life now has a new schedule, a new routine. I filled my calendar quite well, and sometimes I even feel that I don't have the time do everything I planned to do. I still feel pain, but it has dulled, and I think the pain is caused more by a bruised ego than a broken heart at this point.
aiina Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Hello I agree with all messages here, it's incredible how you get the control of your life back when you can think clear. It's been 3 months for me and I have been doing well, this surprised even myself, as at the beginning I thought I was in denial of my feelings, but then realized that I wasn't, that I trully didn't care. NC made me feel stronger, every day I've been NC made me feel more and more strong to myself, not just about him: I also quit smoking, ah! There are no hard feelings, but I don't consider he is a person I would be friends with, actually I still prefeer him as far as possible from me, at least until this state becomes my usual way of being. I am seeing someone, but I am being very, very, very careful. all best to everyone here. aii
sad_panda Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 The great thing about NC is that there comes a point (and it comes really sooner than we all think) where you are really doing it for yourself (and not to punish your ex, or to make him miss you), where you actually don't have the urge to contact him anymore, and where you don't expect and long to hear from him as well.
IcemanJB Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 The great thing about NC is that there comes a point (and it comes really sooner than we all think) where you are really doing it for yourself (and not to punish your ex, or to make him miss you), where you actually don't have the urge to contact him anymore, and where you don't expect and long to hear from him as well. Very true. At first you might have to fake like you're doing it for yourself; eventually you realize you need to do it for yourself. I think it takes a few weeks to realize that NC is a powerful healer. There also comes a point down the road of NC where you become indifferent as to whether you hear from your ex or not. I think I'm just entering that point. To see if I really was ready, I added my ex back to my facebook, to which she accepted right away. Even seeing her updates don't bother me nearly as much as they used to. I've looked at her page twice in the past 12 days, so it's great to know the painful longing for her is gone. I know she'll contact me on my birthday which is coming up, but I don't care much at all. I might even wish her happy birthday in a couple weeks, who knows. At some point you will get to this stage too. It's very liberating. Perhaps your ex did something awful to you and you never want to hear from them again; that's fine. If that were the case with me, I never would have added her back to fb. I just don't like burning bridges. Plus, she has hot friends.
Knight_Ctrl Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 Very true. At first you might have to fake like you're doing it for yourself; eventually you realize you need to do it for yourself. I think it takes a few weeks to realize that NC is a powerful healer. There also comes a point down the road of NC where you become indifferent as to whether you hear from your ex or not. I think I'm just entering that point. To see if I really was ready, I added my ex back to my facebook, to which she accepted right away. Even seeing her updates don't bother me nearly as much as they used to. I've looked at her page twice in the past 12 days, so it's great to know the painful longing for her is gone. I know she'll contact me on my birthday which is coming up, but I don't care much at all. I might even wish her happy birthday in a couple weeks, who knows. At some point you will get to this stage too. It's very liberating. Perhaps your ex did something awful to you and you never want to hear from them again; that's fine. If that were the case with me, I never would have added her back to fb. I just don't like burning bridges. Plus, she has hot friends. respect for you being able to do that man. I become a ****ing serial bomber of bridges after relationships. If I could bomb my bomed bridge and burn all the rubble of my last relationship and build a 10000 mile high wall of cement so another bridge couldn't be built I would.
IcemanJB Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 respect for you being able to do that man. I become a ****ing serial bomber of bridges after relationships. If I could bomb my bomed bridge and burn all the rubble of my last relationship and build a 10000 mile high wall of cement so another bridge couldn't be built I would. There's an image! haha. If my ex had cheated, that bridge would have been burned (bombed, walls built, etc.). That's one thing I don't tolerate in the least bit. Immaturity, being scared, simply not a good match, etc....I'm fine with. I have no problem talking to her as long as I'm over her and she didn't do something awful to me. My ex and I simply aren't compatible at the moment, even with the amazing chemistry we undoubtedly still have. But one thing is for sure, I will not change who I am to be compatible with her; I hope she thinks the same way. Anyways, I think that just taking the high road with regards to your ex is the best idea. It's best to just accept the facts and move ahead without jeopardizing yourself and your future by going all postal on them lol - but cheating of course is the exception. It takes an enourmous amount of patience to see this point though. And ironically, my ex was the complete opposite of a patient person (she would even admit it). The fact I'm so patient always intrigued/pissed her off/drove her crazy (good and bad). That wasn't why we broke up obviously, but I just thought of this and thought it was interesting. wow, off of my tangent now. Too much coffee this morning.
Recommended Posts