spacecapsule Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I would describe myself as an average 23 year old male. I consider myself to have average looks, and a decent job. One area where I have failed miserably is relationships. In high school several girls expressed a liking for me, but I shunned them, (basically did not feel they met my standards). Needless to say I never dated when I was in high school, and attributed it to my selective nature. After high school, I went to a small community college where I began isolating myself. I felt it was unnecessary to get to know people I probably never see again, or that lived so far away it was impossible to hang out outside of school. My interactions with women dwindled even further. During this time, I talked with several young women on the phone (these were women that I had been introduced to through mutual friends). In every instance we never got out of the "get to know" phase, and I never dated, or even met any of them. These "get to knows" never lasted more than 3 weeks then it was over. A year ago I finished college and started my job, I quickly found myself the youngest person by nearly 13 years at the location. This quickly amplified my anti-social tendencies and I soon starting feeling more and more inadequate and stopped leaving the house much at all. After another failed 3 week IM / text session with a young lady, I decided I needed help. I started cruising through online dating help sites for places most singles go to meet other singles. I tried everything from clubs to grocery stores, and I never as so much saw any single women my age. I honestly have yet to notice any young woman roughly my just randomly out in public. Online dating fails because I am not social, and without a picture of "social proof" you are pretty much dead in the water. I do not know how to overcome that obstacle? Needless to say, after Thanksgiving severe depression set in, and now I have given up.... I am 23 never dated and now will be labeled a "late bloomer" a title which I despise with every fiber in my body. Again I never leave the house except to go to work, and I really have no desires to date anyone any more. What little social confidence I had in the past is gone, and I feel more and more inadequate with each passing day. The fear of never experiencing the company of the opposite sex probably weighs heaviest on me. Going out in public has become absolutely painful when I see couples my age. All I can wonder is where did they meet? How did they get so lucky? Sorry for the long post, and thanks for listening to me ramble.
Oliveman Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Well for someone who hasn't really dated, I say the best way for you to meet someone would be to find something as a hobby that you're really passionate about. Say you've always wanted to get into wine tasting or running in weekend races or whatever. When you start doing these things, the people you met will be easy to talk to since you have an easy conversation starter, being whatever it is that you're doing. Just get out there and have some fun. If you're walking around with a stick up your butt hating the world, no one will like you and your negative energy. But if you find something that you enjoy and makes you whole within yourself, you're much more apt to meet someone. Join a gym, take dance lessons, start roller blading, the options are endless. In my opinion you need to fix yourself and your bad attitude towards life before you can cultivate a relationship of any value.
unacceptable62 Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I agree with the above posters. You need to fix your own self image first.
Author spacecapsule Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 I dont have a lot of choices in terms of interest clubs within the area where I live. I have done the club scene, bookstores, you name it, I probably have been there trying to find single women my age. Needless to say my success rate is .000. I believe my self esteem and attitude issues are derivative of my inability to attract, not vice versa, but I might be wrong. Thanks for the advice.
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