mr.dream merchant Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 You ever feel like your friends have more in common with your SO than you do thus leading to more interesting conversations between the two while you just sit and look dumb with a smile on your face? It happens all to often for me. I bring my GF around my friends and she's swimming in interesting conversation with them. Sometimes its like she remembers I'm around so she'll turn to me and do some cheesey lovey dovey move like kiss me on the cheeks, smile, and then it drowned in conversation with my friends again. I know its lame to feel insecure because of your friends but I can't help but feel lackluster on the interesting factor for my girlfriend. Its not just friends but people period. When she's around other people she's more engaged in conversation and activity with them than she is even acknowledging my presence. When its me, her, and another or others, I feel like the oddball even though I may know that person for a long time and she's just meeting them for the second time. Sometimes I'll try to engage her in conversation and while I'm making the attempt I get cut off by her or she just ignores what I said completely. Is this her being bored of me? Is this normal activity in couples engaging with others?
Geishawhelk Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Stop analysing.... Maybe it's just a case of opposites attracting. You're the quet non-talkative type, and she's the chatty gregarious type. It will only play on your mind if you let it. Why don't you focus on how good it is to have a girl who can hold her own in discussions and string more thn two words together coherently? Why do you feel threatened by this? If it bothers you, talk over your concerns with her. Ask her how she feels about it. I guarantee she'll just shrug it off as you just being who you are, and her just being who she is. At least she's with you....!
Author mr.dream merchant Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 Stop analysing.... Maybe it's just a case of opposites attracting. You're the quet non-talkative type, and she's the chatty gregarious type. It will only play on your mind if you let it. Why don't you focus on how good it is to have a girl who can hold her own in discussions and string more thn two words together coherently? Why do you feel threatened by this? If it bothers you, talk over your concerns with her. Ask her how she feels about it. I guarantee she'll just shrug it off as you just being who you are, and her just being who she is. At least she's with you....! I never really considered that. We talk to each other all day so that's also a factor. Its just when we're around other people I can't help but feel boring to her because she's more involved with others than I during those interactions. When its with fellow females its annoying at the most, but when its with other males it makes me kind of insecure.
Geishawhelk Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 .....When its with fellow females its annoying at the most, but when its with other males it makes me kind of insecure. *Boing!* There it is right there. Please don't think I'm being unkind, but you don't own her, and if she's chatty and talkative, and you're not, that's down for you to deal with, not her. There's also a wham-bam-big issue of insecurity or jealousy there, because either you don't trust the guys to not hit on your girl - or you don't trust her to not hit on them.... Either way, you need to build up your confidence and be cool, even if you're quiet. you know - kinda like Clint Eastwood. (in his heyday.... he's just old and wrinkly now.... ) The strong silent type. The kind of man who makes her feels safe, rather than observed..... You know? Be yourself. It's a hard job, I know, nobody's ever done it before - but - Who else is better qualified - ?
Author mr.dream merchant Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 *Boing!* There it is right there. Please don't think I'm being unkind, but you don't own her, and if she's chatty and talkative, and you're not, that's down for you to deal with, not her. There's also a wham-bam-big issue of insecurity or jealousy there, because either you don't trust the guys to not hit on your girl - or you don't trust her to not hit on them.... Either way, you need to build up your confidence and be cool, even if you're quiet. you know - kinda like Clint Eastwood. (in his heyday.... he's just old and wrinkly now.... ) The strong silent type. The kind of man who makes her feels safe, rather than observed..... You know? Be yourself. It's a hard job, I know, nobody's ever done it before - but - Who else is better qualified - ? You're right. I'm fine with guys hitting on her, its normal activity for an attractive female to get hit on. She doesn't hit on them back which I'm not worried about at all. Its just she seems to be enjoying herself so much more talking to them than with me. I'm not a quiet guy, I actually carry conversation very well but its like when theres other people around she'd rather be enjoying her time with them rather then me, at least that's how it feels because like I stated before she enjoys herself so much more engaging in conversations with others instead of me while there are others around. It makes me feel kinda like old news you know? Like I'm just old and washed up compared to these other guys who she carries conversation with so well. When she comes over to me its small talk, nothing grand and enjoyable but rather the norm for couple talk. It bugs the hell out of me.
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