Jordi Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 I'm living abroad so I really need to keep my face book but no contact is difficult so as their really my friends not his is it such a bad thing?
carhill Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 IMO, your friends will do what they do. If they wish to maintain contact with your ex, on FB or IRL, that's their business. You're in charge of you. I can categorically state that I would not be pleased with such a request.
lonelygurl Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 I think it is okay to ask them, but if they want to continue to be friends they may not want to. Unfortunately, with breakups, as I've mentioned on here before, many friendships are lost.
Author Jordi Posted February 4, 2009 Author Posted February 4, 2009 I guess it isn't the nicest thing to ask but it would help me alot at least for now and if they say no i'm not going to hold it against them. But I get the impression from you Carhill that you think it would be best if i didn't ask in the first place?
Geishawhelk Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 I guess it isn't the nicest thing to ask but it would help me alot..... This is for you to deal with, alone. it's your feelings and you have to be 100% responsible for them. You can't ask anybody else to bail you out of something, simply because you want it to happen.... .....at least for now and if they say no i'm not going to hold it against them. Are you also going to tell them when they can let him back in? No, look - don't even go there. You'll just have to get used to it. After all, maintaining NC is up to you. Not for others to do it for you, But I get the impression from you Carhill that you think it would be best if i didn't ask in the first place? Yup. I got that impression too......
Rachael. Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 If they're common friends between you, you shouldn't ask, but if something is bothering you this much ask them. If they're are your real friends they might not want to but will. Some will, some might not, but in my opinion, its worth an ask at the least.
clv0116 Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Not only is it a bad thing to ask, but it'also essentially confirms to anyone interested that you're really not over it/him. Nothing like pumping up the ex-ego .....
PinkKittyKat Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 I had this problem too. As much as i hate my ex and his new wife and how awful he was to me post-breakup, I have many mutual friends. And I can't exactly tell them what to do. It would be as unfair as them deleting ME if he asked! Do what I did. Just set him to be blocked. He can't search for you, see any pics, notes, comments, nothing. And you will be spared from accidentally seeing his updates/notes/comments on other people's pages. It basically makes the person "not exist" on facebook from your perspective. Ask mutual friends politely to try not to mention him to you, or send any mass messages with you in the same address bar. The only way you would ever see the persons' name, and it would be unclickable. Facebook is easy to control, if it's the friends' BEHAVIOUR and associations you are trying to control, I advise you to give it up, beyond making it clear you do not want to discuss him. It will just make you seem unreasonable and petty, and your friends will get fed up. Good luck!
carhill Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Not only is it a bad thing to ask, but it'also essentially confirms to anyone interested that you're really not over it/him. Nothing like pumping up the ex-ego .....Yep, that's it. Too much attention paid to a non-issue. It sends the wrong signals out there. What is the antithesis of love.........?? Indifference. Hopefully, OP, you'll be there soon
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