thromback Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Hey, I've been dating a dutch girl for about 9 months now. I bought her flowers and chocolate and she said that she appreciates it, but it makes her feel uncomfortable? I had to ship all the valentines day stuff out early because the place I got it from couldn't get it delivered on Valentines day. I could see if I was like an ex boyfriend or something giving her a gift, but I feel like I couldn't have won. If I gave her nothing then I'm an *******. Now when I gave her something I still am a *******? Doesn't make sense. Any help?
Touche Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Not enough info here. Is this a long distance relationship? Are you sure there's not another man in the picture? Because the only thing I can think of is that she's either already involved with someone else and/or sees you only as a friend. What exactly is the nature and dynamic of your relationship?
Ariadne Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Then let her be a little bit uncomfortable. Is ok. What you did for Valentines is pretty normal.
Enema Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 I agree with Touche, we need more info. Her reaction sounds like that of a platonic friend that has no interest in you.
Krytie TV Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 My guess is that you are over the top with gifts. Do you give her a lot of gifts? Some people canbe very uncomfortable about that sort of thing.
Author thromback Posted February 4, 2009 Author Posted February 4, 2009 Oh no its not a friend thing or not a thing of her not loving me. I'm not one of those haha. It's an LDR. I don't think she is cheating on me at all. I think its just that in holland most people don't buy gifts for valentines day and she said that she didn't know what to get me or something like that. I don't even want anything though
Geishawhelk Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 It's a shame that after 9 months you still don't know what makes the other uncomfortable. Granted, a LDR is difficult, but communication in cases such as this, is doubly important. You guys need to get to know each other a whole lot better, if you've only just found out that such things make her 'uncomfortable'. How much actual time have you physically spent in each other's company?
Phateless Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 You're moving too fast and you risk scaring her off. Slow down a little bit. Is this your first real relationship?
ColorCube Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Valentine's day isn't for another 10 days, I know you said they had to deliver them early but 2 weeks early? Maybe she felt uncomfortable because Valentine's day is so far away.
Author thromback Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 She lives in holland. I actually physcially been dating her in America for 6 months. She will be moving back to America in June. I don't think I did anything wrong. I didn't go over the top and she isn't going to be home for a week during valentines day. The place I ordered the stuff from could only deliver it then. I don't see what the big deal is
Phateless Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 She lives in holland. I actually physcially been dating her in America for 6 months. She will be moving back to America in June. I don't think I did anything wrong. I didn't go over the top and she isn't going to be home for a week during valentines day. The place I ordered the stuff from could only deliver it then. I don't see what the big deal is You're only thinking of your own feelings and not even wondering if she's in the same place mentally and emotionally as you. Think of a relationship as going for a walk with another person. If you're not going at the same pace you can't stay next to each other. SLOW DOWN.
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