Lucky555 Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 These guys are in contact with me and I feel like nothing is going anywhere so i should stop wasting my time talking to them and focus on someone new. 1. ex-sending me messages, i talk politely and casually...I still have feelings for him and I thought, maybe something may change through conversation. Nope nothing, and I think its better if i just stop talking all together. At first i wasn't but "those feelings" got in the way. 2. I think this guy who is talking to me is cute and friendly. Hes trying to flirt with me through texts. He is not emailing me or calling me or even asking me out. I'm thinking to stop wasting my time and ignore the texts. he lives 3 states away and didn't contact me for about two days. Now he just reappears? WHAT. I think i need to find a guy who is closer to me but actually makes the effort to date and get together ect. I feel like THIS is not going anywhere. Its like still water and i feel very "bored". So how about i focus my direction elsewhere. Just go about my routines and meet people here and there see what happens. I feel like I am wasting my time and energy just even communicating with these men. Sounds good?
Illiandra Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 maintaing contact with an ex always ends up sour,,, from my past exp my ex would contact me and then if he found out i was dating someone else he would start flipping out, Exs are exs for a reason things didnt work out and rarely do the work out after giving it 3 or more chances as far the guy who lives 3 states away it would be hard to have a normal relationship with someone like that overall I feel that you should just go out and see what else is available,,, usually you find someone decent when your not looking
Trialbyfire Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 If guy #1 is either snack boy or "I can't be bothered to make any effort" guy, then yes, ditch him. Guy #2 = LDR = RRRRRRRUUUUUNNNNN... Lucky, your take on being casual and allowing things to happen, if they happen is a good idea. It sounds like you're kind of burned out with the guys you've been connecting with.
hotgelato Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Ditch them both. Ex never works out pretty- LDR is a nono- especially when you are first dating them. You just want to give them a chance because you don't have any current flings at the moment. It's okay to have backup plans but don't let them fool you! Keep light contact with them, but nothing serious. Find some other NEW boys near you in the meantime.
carhill Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 is it time to just ditch these boys? Is a black hole deep enough and dark enough?
You'reasian Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 These guys are in contact with me and I feel like nothing is going anywhere so i should stop wasting my time talking to them and focus on someone new. 1. ex-sending me messages, i talk politely and casually...I still have feelings for him and I thought, maybe something may change through conversation. Nope nothing, and I think its better if i just stop talking all together. At first i wasn't but "those feelings" got in the way. 2. I think this guy who is talking to me is cute and friendly. Hes trying to flirt with me through texts. He is not emailing me or calling me or even asking me out. I'm thinking to stop wasting my time and ignore the texts. he lives 3 states away and didn't contact me for about two days. Now he just reappears? WHAT. I think i need to find a guy who is closer to me but actually makes the effort to date and get together ect. I feel like THIS is not going anywhere. Its like still water and i feel very "bored". So how about i focus my direction elsewhere. Just go about my routines and meet people here and there see what happens. I feel like I am wasting my time and energy just even communicating with these men. Sounds good? I stopped talking with a woman long distance because she made no effort to contact me, despite my sincere interest in her. Saves me money and time that I can spend talking to a woman who is actually interested in me. How about that?
Author Lucky555 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 If guy #1 is either snack boy or "I can't be bothered to make any effort" guy, then yes, ditch him. Guy #2 = LDR = RRRRRRRUUUUUNNNNN... Lucky, your take on being casual and allowing things to happen, if they happen is a good idea. It sounds like you're kind of burned out with the guys you've been connecting with. YES I AM! Its not that i didn't give things a try...Obviously meeting a decent guy is hard. These are two different guys. Snack boy and the other guy I was done a long time ago.
Author Lucky555 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 maintaing contact with an ex always ends up sour,,, from my past exp my ex would contact me and then if he found out i was dating someone else he would start flipping out, Exs are exs for a reason things didnt work out and rarely do the work out after giving it 3 or more chances as far the guy who lives 3 states away it would be hard to have a normal relationship with someone like that overall I feel that you should just go out and see what else is available,,, usually you find someone decent when your not looking Ya i'm thinking to quit contact...I think hes "trying to be friends" but really I don't want to be friends with him because I still have feelings and It probably is making it worse to have him around in my life if I am to move on since hes not doing anything to to move on. He has hinted about "second chances" but to me HINTS are not the same as "Why don't we try" or "I'm interested in being together and working on this" HINTS just don't work for me anymore. I want the real thing. Either he is sure or hes not sure. I'm not playing games with him. Sometimes i think he does it just for attention..i have no idea.
Author Lucky555 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 Ditch them both. Ex never works out pretty- LDR is a nono- especially when you are first dating them. You just want to give them a chance because you don't have any current flings at the moment. It's okay to have backup plans but don't let them fool you! Keep light contact with them, but nothing serious. Find some other NEW boys near you in the meantime. All I have been doing is dating, getting to know them, and giving it a try. I really don't know any guys well so everyone is basically a stranger and I always like knowing "i gave it a try" as opposed to not trying. Good advise will stop talking to both
Author Lucky555 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 Illiandra: maintaing contact with an ex always ends up sour,,, from my past exp my ex would contact me and then if he found out i was dating someone else he would start flipping out, Exs are exs for a reason things didnt work out and rarely do the work out after giving it 3 or more chances as far the guy who lives 3 states away it would be hard to have a normal relationship with someone like that overall I feel that you should just go out and see what else is available,,, usually you find someone decent when your not looking I agree, it just brought back old feelings, i caved probably. Carhill: Is a black hole deep enough and dark enough? This is what it seems like. Its like im looking down in a black hole and there is no light. I know thought there is light in someone's eyes somewhere someday! (When i meet a great guy) Thank you all for the feedback and support. This was just what i needed. All too often people tell me "you need to give it a chance" or "you can't be so picky" These messages reaffirm my thoughts of these situations. I don't want to be texting some guy and miss that opportunity of meeting the great guy. Its all about timing sometimes and i feel like it would be getting rid of "leeches" or people who suck the energy out of me. I don't even feel compelled to be friends with them. I don't consider them friend quality right now either. I am burnt out and I need to reignite my dating spirit, hence DITCH THOSE GUYS seems to be pretty obvious here.
carhill Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Lucky, you know how when you're with someone and you just feel positive? Not dizzy, room-spinning infatuated, but rather a feeling of overall well-being? When you feel that with a man, give it "a chance". LakesideDream once told me that, with his special woman, he feels "alive" in a way he's never felt with another human being, ever, including his ex-W. I feel that same way with my old female friend. It doesn't have to be romance and sex, but it can be, if you're compatible in those ways. IMO, if that is what you seek, trust your inner voice. Life experience and wading through lots of guys will allow you, one day, to just smack yourself and go "wow, where were you all my life". I wish that for you.
Author Lucky555 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 Lucky, you know how when you're with someone and you just feel positive? Not dizzy, room-spinning infatuated, but rather a feeling of overall well-being? When you feel that with a man, give it "a chance". LakesideDream once told me that, with his special woman, he feels "alive" in a way he's never felt with another human being, ever, including his ex-W. I feel that same way with my old female friend. It doesn't have to be romance and sex, but it can be, if you're compatible in those ways. IMO, if that is what you seek, trust your inner voice. Life experience and wading through lots of guys will allow you, one day, to just smack yourself and go "wow, where were you all my life". I wish that for you. Thank you so much. that was such an inspirational post. Ok i will be seeking the "alive" feeling and then give it a chance!
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 didn't contact me for about two days. Now he just reappears? WHAT. That's like an eternity. But, yeah - why invest energy in two guys that are keeping you around for the female attention? Some get off on the thought that they have some chick interested in them even if THEY aren't interested in HER. Ego-stroke. I agree with you - time to move on.
You'reasian Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 YES I AM! Its not that i didn't give things a try...Obviously meeting a decent guy is hard. or perhaps meeting the perfect guy for you is hard? There are plenty of decent fellas out there, its just a matter of getting to know them and deciding if they are perfect for you.
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