hotgurl Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 I have this friend and we were very close until last year when she got a new Boyfriend. She has this pattern of ditching friends when she get s a new guy. So that didn't surprise me. but I was getting married and she was a bridesmaid with maid of honor duties(because my maid of honor was my daughter so she offered to do the duties) well she did almost nothing except for the shower. But she was so wrapped up in this guy I could hardly get her away for a lunch just to chat about colors etc....I mean I just wanted to talk. my co-workers knew way more about my wedding. so after the wedding she disapeared for a good part of it. Whatever! they best was her BF drank 15 beers and her 2 bottles of champange. so afterwords I thought forgive and forget well she moved away. I admit I was upset but only because I knew I would never hear from her again. After shes moved I decided to give it my best shot and be positive. So I call occasionally and email. but whenever she calls back it is super brief and emailed like 3 lines about herself and ask nothing about me. I think the friendship is done. But it sucks we were really close and no I feel like she ditched me. I don't have a lot of girlfriends and my other close GF lives across the country but a least she keeps in touch. hell I see her more. I guess I should have put this in the rants section. Should I just not contact her anymore and let things fade away?
Touche Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 When do you know it's done? When you're giving more than you're getting. Apparently you thought of her as a best friend of sorts but she didn't. Happens. The only thing to do in that case is to move on and not waste time with someone like that. Oh and get used to it. I find that 99.9% of people are like this. When you find friends who aren't like that treat them like gold because they're rare.
Author hotgurl Posted February 4, 2009 Author Posted February 4, 2009 When do you know it's done? When you're giving more than you're getting. Apparently you thought of her as a best friend of sorts but she didn't. Happens. The only thing to do in that case is to move on and not waste time with someone like that. Oh and get used to it. I find that 99.9% of people are like this. When you find friends who aren't like that treat them like gold because they're rare. yes I guess that is true. But when she doesn't have a BF she calls constantly and comes over all the time. She is just one of those girls. I guess I should feel lucky I have 2 really good girlfriends who have been there through everything.
steveraves Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Like the person above said the way your friend is treating you is quite common. When they don't have bf you're best friends, when they do have a bf you're put on the shelf. In her mind she may still consider you a best friend. When/If she breaks up with her bf she'll be back around, and at that time you'll have to decide if you want to be friends with her. You now have the knowledge that once she finds a new bf she'll be gone again.
whichwayisup Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Don't contact her anymore, let it just fade away.. Sometimes it's best to let a friendship quietly die off and not say anything.
Author hotgurl Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 yes you are right. I guess I will let the friendship fade away. it uscks it makes me feel like a bad friend.
whichwayisup Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 You aren't a bad friend so don't beat yourself up. IF she does call in the future, be friendly and hear her out but you don't have to feel pressured to continue the friendship. You can talk to her about how she neglected you during the most important time of your life and it made you feel. I know for myself as I get older I won't put up with flakey friends. Sure, we can keep intouch, go out for a coffee or something, but they won't be a part of MY daily life, nor will I rely on them for anything.
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