exclusive. Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Sigh, I have mutual friends I cannot delete because they're better my friends than hers, but they're all getting tagged in photos from her albums and I found myself searching through them. The biggest pain to me, is I'm going through this pain alone. I bet she was not so hurt that once she felt suicide was the answer, I can't believe I even got to that place, I'm so angry at myself for it! But to see her so happy and enjoying herself, makes me even more miserable than I was. If she was hurting too, atleast I wouldn't have to feel so much jealousy and hatred with all the other 100 crappy feelings I have. Well, I asked out a girl today who is gorgeous - fingers crossed.
Geishawhelk Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Close your account and don't go there any more. Sorted. There's nothing 'wrong' with either Facebook OR Myspace. It's what we do to ourselves that is wrong.
Author exclusive. Posted February 4, 2009 Author Posted February 4, 2009 Im not gonna close facebook for her, she has won this fight but she has not yet won the battle. I will bounce back to my feet someday soon Im sure, it just makes me feel sick that someone who supposedly 'loved' you can just disappear out of your life without a care in the world. I almost feel fearful of falling in love again, every time I do it always ends with me willing to give it my all and the other giving up. sigh.
OCCDAVE Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 I know how you feel dude its tough.heck my gf of 3 years asked me to marry her then the next day I need space,following week she has a new bf.I was left beyond confused and hurt as u can see.
Geishawhelk Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Im not gonna close facebook for her. You don't close facebook for her. You close facebook for you!
Author exclusive. Posted February 4, 2009 Author Posted February 4, 2009 thanks OCCDAVE, to be fair you have had it much worse than me - there's nothing like thinking your on top of the world, only to fall off and hit the ground face first. Thanks Geisha, but I will not close my facebook for her nor for me. I wanna stand up tall for once....well, try to - Im only feeling good about myself so far though cause Im talking to this girl and its seeming positive. But, I asked her to meet up so - I will get a good answer on what she thinks of me from that. Im expecting another fall, but hey won't know if you won't ask right?
lonelygurl Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 You don't have to get rid of your facebook but is her account open for everyone to see? or is locked to friends only? if it is for friends only, how are you seeing what she is up too?? and if it is open to everyone why are you looking at her stuff? if you are still on her friends list than take your self off!!!! you can choose to not look at her wall, info and pics. why are you torturing yourself?? and this isn't a game of who wins. this is about you healing and moving on. The more you choose to look at her stuff and see what she is up to the more you are going to hurt and the longer you are going to take to get over her. Each time you look you are taking more steps backwards in healing rather than moving forward.
IcemanJB Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Close your facebook for awhile. I did for about 2.5 months. I just opened mine back up last week because I'm doing much better. But I definitely hear you about the pain; it SUCKED seeing my ex in pictures from mutual friends, which is why I left for awhile. I even tried just removing her from my friends list then, but I'd still see stuff about her everywhere. Your best bet is to just lay low for awhile. I actually added her back as a friend yesterday (she accepted within 5 minutes; wow does she have a life!? haha). I made sure I was ok with anything I might encounter, and I am. BUT it took me, like I said before, 2.5 months of not seeing anything of her, OR contacting her to get to this point. I still haven't talked to her in a couple months, and still don't have a strong desire to even after seeing her page. That is how I know I'm doing fine. I just figured this is about as good as I'm going to heal regarding her (considering the shape I was in last Fall), so I need to just suck it up, and move ahead without any expectations from her. It's actually pretty relieving. It's hard to explain; all I can say is I'm glad I did that. Just MAKE SURE you can handle anything you see from her, and that you WILL NOT do anything stupid, like beg and plead.
Author exclusive. Posted February 4, 2009 Author Posted February 4, 2009 You don't have to get rid of your facebook but is her account open for everyone to see? or is locked to friends only? Her account is locked. if it is for friends only, how are you seeing what she is up too?? We have mutual friends and she's tagging them in photos, which is coming up on my homepage. If your friend is tagged in someone's album, you can view the whole album, locked account or not. and if it is open to everyone why are you looking at her stuff? if you are still on her friends list than take your self off!!!! Curiousity killed the cat this time. you can choose to not look at her wall, info and pics. why are you torturing yourself??. I didn't mean to, guess sub-consciously the more I hurt myself - the more I will want to let go?
Frankasy Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 You wanna win the battle? Get back at her, tag your mutual friends in pics of you, she'll feel the same way. Try it, even if they're old pics. Women are more curious than us.
lonelygurl Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Her account is locked. We have mutual friends and she's tagging them in photos, which is coming up on my homepage. If your friend is tagged in someone's album, you can view the whole album, locked account or not. Curiousity killed the cat this time. I didn't mean to, guess sub-consciously the more I hurt myself - the more I will want to let go? Sorry I don't understand the tagging thing. The more you hurt yourself is not going to help you let go. It is just going to keep you in the cycle of HURT and PAIN!!!! It is very hard to not look. I will be fine for awhile but then something happens and I will start surfing for something to see what pops up, it is addictive but very bad for healing. Try to force yourself to look less often. Like any addiction you have to wean yourself off.....if you are looking/checking 5 times a day go down to 2 or 3 or less....then once or every other day.....catch my drift!
badbrit Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I am a facebook veteran, a real facebook addict!!! I am the worse one for using it. We were together 5 years and have a child together. She cheated, I forgave, she cheated again and left me, I begged her to come back and she did, we spent another 18 months together during which she felt little for me and dumped me 11 months ago and immediately started seeing a married man plus tons of randoms. I loved her totally, she loved me none! I was screwed up and acting irrational, argumentative, trying to be rude, then nice, then helpful then withdrawn. Ran the gauntlett of emotions. She took me off facebook friends list in June last year but as we have a ton of mutual friends plus live in small town I would do the same - see tags pictures on my newsfeed and be able to access the whole album. I sent a friend request in September and she sat on it for 6 weeks before rejecting it (I know facebook in and out and know she had it pending all that time). We continue to see each other for exchanging our son a few times a week and bump into each other in town numerous times. I eventually buckled and told her that I will always love her on New Years, she doesnt care but was nice to me. Weirdly I dont want her back but just wanted to feel that she felt something too. I want nothing more than to have her out of my mind. Seems at xmas she was feeling sentinmental and for the first and maybe only time thought about me a little. At that time, for first time I saw a look in her eye a couple times, especially christmas day when I gave him back to her. Anyway, she is emotionally detached from me and xmas was just a time when we all get daft. I joined the local network a month ago, turns out that means I can access her profile as if I was on her friends list. I check it all the time, all the damn time. At I saw at xmas time status updates that made it worse for me, she had stuff on there for only time ever that showed my gut feelings at xmas were right - stuff like (...wishes she was not so sentimental, damn!) She does little with life except go out drinking hard on Saturdays, hung over Sundays and occasional random guy pulling. Facebook is not evil but how we use it is. Weirdly, this last couple weeks my ex has added my mum to her friend list and sent her a message saying her and our son miss my parents and nice and chit chatty. She also added my ex wife (who she stole me away from six years ago!!!!). That hurts, that she is happy to let any and all be her friend on it except me. Oh well lol Now, I actually live with a new gf who is 100 times better than the ex, really is. A real catch and I hope to grow old with her. My mental block is feelings for the ex and facebook I realise is keeping me fixated on her. So I am going to wean myself away and have booked councilling to deal with my feelings because if not for the ex, I would be so happy with new partner. I do not need advice, i know what I am doing wrong, what I feel, why it is stupid, how what I am doing is stupid BUT the point is, facebook has changed times and the access we have to our exes life and what they are doing make it more "current" than the old days when you finished with someone and slowly moved on. Facebook keeps things fresh so stop doing it. Learn from me, do not become me, do not become stuck and have your whole life screwed because of damn facebook
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