andrewrost3241981 Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 There is a girl that I have a crush on that is 9 years younger than I am that I would like to ask out (I am 27 (almost 28) and she is 18 (almost 19)). I have talked to 4 different people about this situation. Two of the people say that as long as both I and the girl are OK with the age difference, we should go out. However, the other two I have talked to (my two brothers) say that she is just too young and that going out with her would be socially unacceptable, and they are trying very hard to dissuade me from asking her out. I don't know if this girl does want to go out with me or not (I will have to accept whatever she decides), but I don't know why some people would find it socially unacceptable. Shouldn't it be up to the two people who are going out to decide if their age difference is OK (except when a minor is involved) with them instead of “society”? Is there some “magic” age difference at which it is suddenly OK to date, but any age difference greater than that it is wrong? Shouldn't a girl who is 18 or older be able to decide for herself who she wants to date, even if the guy is older. I asked my brothers “If I did ask this girl on a date, what is the WORST possible scenario that you could foresee happening?” The worst thing I personally could foresee happening is that she just says no to us going out, and that would be the end of it. One of my brother's responses to this question was “The worst thing that could happen is that she could say yes, and then society will reject your relationship” or something to that effect. In my thinking, if I and the girl really like each other and want to go out with each other, who gives a damn what society thinks? I also asked my brother “If I am 27 years old, what do you think the youngest aged girl WOULD be acceptable for me to go out with?” He never really gave me a clear answer, and just continued to say that this particular girl was too young. I have asked this question on other forums, and it seems that everyone has a DIFFERENT answer. Most of this post is just a rant, but I do have one question that I would like to know people's opinions on: REALLY, IF I ASKED THIS GIRL OUT AND IF WE DID GO OUT, WHAT IS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT YOU COULD FORESEE HAPPENING? (Also FYI, although I have never been on a date, both of brothers are younger than me and neither of them have been on a date either (one is 21 and the other is 17)).
RRyan65 Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 EEEEhhhh... 19 y/o can be fun, but the only reason you shouldn't consider it goes beyond whatever is socially acceptable. It's the fact that she's 19. If You were 21, I'd still say keep it casual.
clv0116 Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Do you care what short sighted morons think? If so worry about it, if not date her.
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 I think there's a huge emotional/mental gap between somebody in their teens and somebody nearly 30. A LOT of growth happens in your 20's. But really - everybody is different and you never know for sure until you spend some time with her. I'm just going based on what I've seen in general. But why not just give it a shot and ask her out? She's legal.
Author andrewrost3241981 Posted February 4, 2009 Author Posted February 4, 2009 I am definitely planning on asking her out. I just wanted to see if anyone really could think of anything REALLY bad that could actually happen from me going out with her (which of course I never was able to think of anything myself). I also wanted to use this post to show my brothers that nothing really bad is going to happen from me trying to ask this girl out.
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 I am definitely planning on asking her out. I just wanted to see if anyone really could think of anything REALLY bad that could actually happen from me going out with her (which of course I never was able to think of anything myself). I also wanted to use this post to show my brothers that nothing really bad is going to happen from me trying to ask this girl out. No...unless she has overprotective parents. Then I'd say watch out. My mom would have **** a brick if at 19 I told her I wanted to date a 28-year-old. She'd wonder why he couldn't find somebody his own age.
Author andrewrost3241981 Posted February 4, 2009 Author Posted February 4, 2009 I have thought about the problem that might arise if her parents disapprove. I think in that situation I would just ask the girl if she really liked me or not. If she didn't like me enough to have to deal with her parents, then we would end it right there. If she did like me though, I think we would just have to talk to each other and stay firm with our convictions and tell her parents that we really cared about each other and that nothing they say or do is going to make us break up (as long as the girl doesn't give in to her parents).
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