Chip11 Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 I'm sure a lot of people have the same problem of shyness. For me, I can talk to people quite well, and can engage in pretty good conversations. BUT, I cannot bring myself to start these conversations, or make contact at all with anyone, even with very good friends. Every time I'm about to, I think I'd better not, that I shouldn't rock the boat, that they wouldn't be interested in talking, etc. Maybe it's a self-image thing, maybe it's because I don't do it that often, I don't really know. But, I know I'm better than this. I know I can be a friendly, outgoing person who can talk to people, make them laugh, have in-depth conversations with them, plan things, or just talk for more than three seconds. I know I can do all this, but I can't seem to do it. I just seem to not talk, or just leave it alone. So, my question is: how can I overcome my shyness, and how can others do the same? Thanks, and have a good one.
xrhannyx Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 I just thought i wud comment n let you know wht i was like! When i was younger i mean im only 19 but wen i was younger than that!! haha! I used to b very much lyk wht your saying! all my friends had to get in touch with me and i wud basically jus keep to myself because i thought no1 wud want to know me...the thing is....they r ur friends...if they didnt want to no u or speak to u then they wouldnt be classed as friends or class u as one I got told once which helped me..."wht u put in to a friendship is wht u get out" if you just go for it and show them by being with them etc that u appreciate ti and u get into the habit of it then i think u cud gradually get better....i mean ask your friends to help ya get over it too =] Where there is a will there is a way =] xxx
haley121 Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I'm a horribly shy person by nature and this one rule has worked for me: Push yourself outside your comfort zone. Whatever that means for you--do it! If you feel uncomfortable starting up a conversation with someone, just buck up and DO it one day. Start small. If you're still in school, start a conversation with the person next to you in class. Start with boring things--the class, weekend plans, the weather, whatever comes to mind, and then try to move to more interesting things. If the person doesn't seem responsive, whatever, it's not a big deal. Just let it go and try again with someone else later. Do things that are outside your norm--sign up for an activity where you don't know anyone. Sometimes these things won't go well and sometimes they will, but every experience will make you more confident and skilled in overcoming your shyness (or it will at least help you to fake yourself out of it). Shyness sucks, and I believe that we shy people will always have a little shyness in us, but we can at least become more balanced so we can share our true selves with the world, and in turn, we will be happier people
JohnnyBlaze Posted February 12, 2009 Posted February 12, 2009 Start small. First day, give yourself a challenge: say "hi" to ten people you don't know. You don't have to say anything else to them, just "hi". It doesn't matter who they are, just as long as you don't know them. Do that for a few days until you're finding it to be second nature, then start saying "hi, how're you doing?". Wait for a response before walking away. It may not earn you any accolades from Toastmasters, but it will get you used to starting conversations, even ones as innocuous as "hi".
Mag-Lone-Freak Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 I'm there too... A part of me has accepted it as just my personality, and that I'm just a mellow gal... But it hurts me a lot. I would love to be my fantasy self who's a smiling, cheery, sexy, sophistated "Jayne Mansfield" who can give a good response right away, but its just not me... However, its not even about that, its about at least experiencing what its like to be open and comfortable in a social situation. I've been told to take theatre classes by one person, or ballroom dancing (which I tried but felt shame for it later), and Toastmasters. Its the move to do so for me thats the problem. I guess you have to be open to trying no matter what the outcome and never feel shame for it.
Peter_pan Posted February 22, 2009 Posted February 22, 2009 my ex was like this. she then got a job at phones for you. and everything changed
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