Emotionally Drained

[LEANER1]

Hi all. I posted here just before Christmas '08 regarding my wife who cheated on me. We started counseling after the new year and I thought, even though it was going to be a long road, that things were going to be ok. Well, long story short, even though she had promised that she had broken ties with the the guy she cheated with, I caught her texting him. Messages of love and what seemed to be life plans. When I confronted her she said she could not take it any more and that I was the one she wanted to be with. We decided to get new phones and put an end to the texting and phone calls. She cries at the drop of a pin when she starts to think of him. The unfortuneate thing for me is that I really don't know how to react. My gut tells me to comfort her while my head says to let her suffer. The other guuy has played the 'suicide card' and she fell for it. She wound up calling him to console him and told me while I was working, obviously not much I could do. Anyway, the past month has been a roller coaster, mainly going down. A large part of me wants to believe that she can and will be faithful to me, physically and emotionally, but then there's the other side. She says I need to be more passionate, but I find it to be difficult considering the circumstances. Maybe it's sad to say, but through all the BS I still love her and miss the way we used to be. It not only feels like I'm losing my wife but my best friend. We have no children, so whatever happens that is not a consideration. I am looking for some advice from someone who has unfortuneately been in this or a similar situation. How do you bring back the spark / passion? thanks in advance....... leaner

[samspade]

Best friends don't do what your wife did. Divorce her. You can be "more passionate" with the next woman. Let her and her loser boyfriend enjoy each others' company. His suicide threats are not your problem. No kids? You're lucky, pal. Kick her a$$ to the curb!