briteyes Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Over the past couple days i have triesd to begin healing!! holding out hope that he will come back is no longer in my head!! when someone can tell you i did grow up thats why i am leaving you that was the straw that broke the camels back for me!!48 hours later he started acting like nothing ever happened but i couldnt do that this time!! after all he has said n done since the split i have been treated really really bad!! i am hurting so bad still the tought of him even being with someone else kills me!! but its my reality now!! he keeps trying to piss me off by asking where i am and saying i should have asked him to do things!! like movies ect!! i think are you for real!! u just said this mean thing to me and told me you have nothing to say to me anymore so i havent talked to him unless addrssed!! he made a very ignorant comment last nite sayin i looked sexy in my new glasses and that i should where them when i have sex!! who the hell does he think he is telling me what i should do when i have sex i felt like that was waaaaay over the line!! so i said nothing!! then this afternoon he texts me from uptairs and says i got u something to eat come upstairs if you want it!! i went up n said nicely thank you normaly i would be hungry but my cousin and i are going to lunch n a movie in a hour but thank you anyway!! i have a feeling if he cant find a second job by the time he leaves in 4 weeks he will not want to leave cause he cant afford his place otherwise!! what do i do? i cant live this way anymore he has not held responsabilty for any wrong he has done and he is just cold as ice and mean!!! i am living with a stranger and it makes me feel very uneasy i am to the point now that i cant even sleep more than 3 hours a nite unless i can keep i eye on him!! he hates me so bad a this point i fear when he will snapp for real!!! so what do i say if he approaches me with this sonario? i just want peace !! it is really hard living with someone who does what they want and judgesyou for everytihng you do!! i am spending lots of time with family and staying busy to wait out the 4 weeks!! i cant c him interact with females on the phone and thank them for all they have done for him!! when i have been the one here everyday when his checks are short making up diffrence acting like a wife in every since with no respect of emotion!! im done so help does this pain go wawy and i am so angry!! will that change i did what i didnt want to do i am going numb agsin snd i hsvee worked so hard to fix that about myself!!
suzanne2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 It does get easier. I am in a similar situation right now where I am still living in the same house as my soon to be ex-husband. This situation is only temporary and I will be moving out on the 15th (Thank God), but I understand your feelings. It is really hard to live in the same house with the person that you once loved but who is now a stranger to you. This is only the second night that I have had to deal with this. I stayed with friends the first week, but came home last night and he was here. He had originally set up a schedule of when I would be in the house and when he would, but I violated that last night so I guess now all bets are off. He is totally indifferent to me, which is totally uncalled for, he asked for the divorce and I agreed no crying, wining, begging and this is the thanks that I get. Hold your head up and know that it will get better. You need to put as much distance between him and you as humanly possible. I am not angry so I can't help you there, but I know that I feel much better when him and I are not in the same house together. Time heals a lot of things, but you need the distance before time can have a chance to work its magic.
Author briteyes Posted February 4, 2009 Author Posted February 4, 2009 i was responding to you at the same time you to me!! lol wow !! go figure!! i hope you are gonna be ok!! i have been living in the same house for 2 and a half months i am going crazy!! lol i am doing my best to make me a good person screw what he becomes not my problem anymore!! i hope you do the same it really hepls to face any deamons in your past no matter related or not and take small steps into making you the best person u can be cause in the end the one who works at it will provale and the one whio acts like nothing at all will fall and that may be what they deserve!!!
edgeof27 Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Wow, tough read; so; [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]"Over the past couple days I have tried to begin healing!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]holding out hope that he will come back is no longer in my head!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]when someone can tell you; [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]“I did grow up that’s why I am leaving you”[/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]that was the straw that broke the camels back for me!![/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]48 hours later he started acting like nothing ever happened but I couldn’t do that this time!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]after all he has said and done since the split I have been treated really really bad!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]I am hurting so bad still the thought of him even being with someone else kills me!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]but its my reality now!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]he keeps trying to piss me off by asking where I am and saying I should have asked him to do things!! like movies ect!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]I think, "are you for real"!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]You just said this mean thing to me, and told me you have nothing to say to me anymore, so I haven’t talked to him unless addressed!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]he made a very ignorant comment last night saying;[/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]“I looked sexy in my new glasses and that I should wear them when I have sex”!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]who the hell does he think he is telling me what I should do when I have sex,[/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]I felt like that was waaaaay over the line!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]so i said nothing!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]then this afternoon he texts me from upstairs and says;[/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]“I got you something to eat, come upstairs if you want it”!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]I went up and said nicely,[/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]“thank you, normally I would be hungry but my cousin and I are going to lunch and a movie in a hour but thank you anyway”!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]I have a feeling that if he can’t find a second job by the time he leaves in 4 weeks, he will not want to leave because he can nott afford his place otherwise!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]what do I do? [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]I cant live this way anymore, [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]he has not taken responsibility for any wrong he has done and he is just cold as ice and mean!!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]I am living with a stranger, and it makes me feel very uneasy,[/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]I am to the point now that I can not even sleep more than 3 hours a night unless I can keep an eye on him!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]he hates me so bad a this point I fear when he will snap for real!!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]so what do I say if he approaches me with this scenario? [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]i just want peace !! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]it is really hard living with someone who does what they want and judges you for everything you do!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]I am spending lots of time with family and staying busy to wait out the 4 weeks!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]I can not c him interact with females on the phone and thank them for all they have done for him!! [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]when I have been the one here everyday when his checks are short making up difference, acting like a wife in every sense with no respect of emotion!![/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]I’m done, so help, does this pain go away[/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]and I am so angry!! will that change, I did what I did not want to do,[/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]I am going numb again and I have worked so hard to fix that about myself!!" [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]Briteyes;[/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]get out of this situation as fast as you can,[/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]do not waste anymore time on this guy,[/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]kick him out, do not support him, find someone else[/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]you deserve better,[/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]g.[/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
edgeof27 Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 sorry bout that.... get out of this situation as fast as you can, do not waste any more time on this guy, kick him out, do not support him, find someone else you deserve better, g.
Author briteyes Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 today i had mentioned to him the kids wanted to get him a house warming present and he said " i dont need anything i have my boys and thats all i need and a raggedy ass couch!! i got frusterated cause this is why i dont talk to him convo never ends up well !! I said FYI u always got me as a friend!! i said and you got your friends thier is one in perticulas that he choose over his family!! he continues to be freinds with this female that he used to decieve me with while living in the house still!! no i may be wrong together or not that is completely disrespectful!! **** ask her for some support u ask her every day how she is on the phone and you r nice to her and careing when she aint donre **** but talk to you !! how bout u treat me that way when i have been hustlein for 8 years working sometimes up 2 3 jobs to make sure we have what we need!! N i get Nothing as far as emtional or thank you or damn even respect!! oh and today he asked for sex and i said no sorry i dont want to and he said why. i said i have 4 weeks to get used to the idea of you leaving and the only way to do that is to act as if your not here!! i told him i dont mean to be mean but i have to do this!! he said i might not leave!! i said oh yes u will dont worry!@! R u for real u told me u dont love me u feel sorry for me u dont trust me and i am to controlling!! and now u want to stay how selfish is that!! cause he dosent have a second job yet and without it he cant make it on his own!! he is not even givin me friggin child support 4 12months cause he cant afford it!! so let me get this straight u want to stay here and reap all the benifits of being my husband with none of the respect and your r gonna continue to date that or he says just freind wat ever, date that Broad in this house while i help the family stay a float ! now he works n hard but his job only covers 40 persent if that !! i just got it all worked out where i can afford this house alone and take care of the kids money wise alone and u wanna wat!! he didnt say it but i know ots comin!! after he kept all his tax money to do what he pleases except the 500 i asked him for to finish getting the bills to a 0 balance cause i had payed all up as far a back dated balances but 500!! so we are caught all up n in a good p-lace due to my struggle and he helped but his checks have been short 3 times so far and will be short 4 more before he leaves !! i am getting real pissed about the selfishness i am gonna snapp i am begining to think he has used me all along!! oh and he had app on his dresser and that broads name on it as a reffrence and it said known 6 years so that mf has known this b---- for 6 out of the 8 we been married!! i felt no love from him or support and i felt like he only stayed for the money and the stabilty of it all n kids!! i didnt feel loved since 5 years!! that explains it huh? god i wanted to say somethign but i just used it as fuel@! for my new start!! i was so retarted to think he gave a damn!! i hope she has his back cauz he will need it but i doubt it the broad didnt have a job a year ago so hoe good opf a reffrence can she be!! i hope she has a record and they check his refrences lol!!! i am just wondering how much more disrespect does he think i am gonna take!!!
TrustInYourself Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 You are sending mixed messages. Grow a pair. Kick his ass out. Do not even communicate with him, unless it's about the kids. If you put up with it, he's going to do more of it. He's a master manipulator and since you have kids..yeah.
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