bean1 Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 So how do I pose the question and what exactly should I be asking. "what are your intentions" I want to do this in the nicest possible way without seeming crazy lol. He already told you. He didn't call for 4 days and sent a text saying "hey". He's feeling you out as a FWB.
Author tassle01 Posted February 4, 2009 Author Posted February 4, 2009 Right ... and my reply was very cold to him. So how should I approach it now? Or should I not get in contact at all???
calazhage Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 What is wrong with just asking "hey, you called me 10 times a day for a month, we had sex, and now you disappeared. What is a girl to think?" Keep in mind this is not meant to win him over(nothing you say or do can accomplish that), but it will give you an answer, so you don't waste more time.
bean1 Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Right ... and my reply was very cold to him. So how should I approach it now? Or should I not get in contact at all??? Don't contact him. Remember, we treat people how to treat us. If you keep contacting him, you are telling him that it is ok to have sex with you and ignore you for days.
bean1 Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 What is wrong with just asking "hey, you called me 10 times a day for a month, we had sex, and now you disappeared. What is a girl to think?" Keep in mind this is not meant to win him over(nothing you say or do can accomplish that), but it will give you an answer, so you don't waste more time. I don't think he'd give a straight up answer anyways. He'd probably say, "Oh, I've been busy", but no man is too busy to contact a woman he is interested in. My SO had to go 5,000 miles away for business for a week. I still got a phone call everynight before I went to sleep. We had only been together a few months. THAT is how a man should treat you. No less! You sound like you would do the same for your man - so do it for someone who deserves it. There are many deserving men on this planet. This one doesn't appear to be one of them.
calazhage Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Exactly, he might just say "i have been busy". So at least she knows FOR SURE he is full of BS, and she can move on. There is a tiny chance she comes off as cold (as she is thinking of how to play games right now), and that he was surprised she is even interested.
Author tassle01 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 okay so today we spoke very briefly via text message he said he was in a meeting and that hell speak to me soon but he never called so i sent a follow up message saying "i know things are very hectic at work. everything okay?" and he responded "everythings good. thanks sweety" what kind of reply is this?????? i guess this means, he really is just not that into me. right? i really want to find a way to drive him crazy and make him wonder what happened to me, why am i not calling etc ... i guess the only way to to do this is avoid him cold turkey. when we first began seeing each other he said he dosent play games ... clearly this is not the case. pretty upsetting
Author tassle01 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 after he messaged me that "everything is good thanks sweety" last night i really feel like i want to call him or txt him again. i think i deserve answers as to what is going on because its not fair that he just texts me out of the blue with his sweet words and is not asking me out ... i dont understand these men. is it crazy of me to ask him whats going on?
stillafool Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Stillafool, that is what makes asking for advice so pointless, lol. Because when someone starts a thread asking something similar, almost unanimously the guys say "move on" or "Line up other women", and the woman say "make sure she contacts you half the time as well!" Let me ask you. What is the logic or reasoning, specifically, to not making contact with a man you are very into? To gauge is interest?Fear of being hurt? Or there is no reason at all, other than gender roles? I know, I know we women are very confusining. I didn't call guys I was head over heels for because I didn't ever want to put myself in a position to be rejected by them. Pure old insecurity is the reason. It hurts to much to be rejected by someone I loved so I would rather hide from them until I have complete confirmation that they feel the same way. Silly huh?
stillafool Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 okay so today we spoke very briefly via text message he said he was in a meeting and that hell speak to me soon but he never called so i sent a follow up message saying "i know things are very hectic at work. everything okay?" and he responded "everythings good. thanks sweety" what kind of reply is this?????? i guess this means, he really is just not that into me. right? i really want to find a way to drive him crazy and make him wonder what happened to me, why am i not calling etc ... i guess the only way to to do this is avoid him cold turkey. when we first began seeing each other he said he dosent play games ... clearly this is not the case. pretty upsetting Please tell me you are kidding. You contacted him first and are thinking about contacting him again? From his reply I would definitely say "He's not that in to you". I don't mean to hurt you but you need to open your eyes to how he's treating you. If he really cared he would call you, not text you. When a guy is really into a girl he wants to hear her voice. Please don't contact him again or you will look desperate. If this guy was interested he would be contacting you.
Author tassle01 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 what is my best option in this situation??? i guess his lack of contact and no effort to see me shows me his is not interested but i am very curious to know where his head went from going to calling me nonstop to vanishing. should i confront him or let this one bite the dust??
Author tassle01 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 i am sick of his contact being "hey babe how r u" "hey you" its always something meaningless and leaves me even more confused thats why i just want a simple answer. either we date like normal people or we do not see each other period. hm. guess i just answered the question myself, and the answer is the latter option.
Author tassle01 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 okay he just messaged me via text "how are you" ... any ideas of how i should respond!!??? help!!!
calazhage Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 LOL, how old are you? There are no magic words to make him like you more..
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