fieldhockeyislove Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 So, ive been dating this guy. He's really sweet. I love him so much. And I know he loves me too...or at least he used to. You know how when you first get into a relationship, you get on this high, and then it dies down and you get bored? Yeah...well i think that's what's happening to him. And he might not even care about me anymore. Here's why: 1. He used to text me ALL the time. Constantly. And that kind of stopped. He texts me like twice a day now, which is fine. I know we both don't really have the time to text each other constantly. But it's just a little weird... 2. Also, when we do end up texting, he all of a sudden cuts off without explanation. He used to tell me when he had to go, but now he'll just all of a sudden stop talking to me,whether we're talking about food or whether we're having an important discussion about our relationship. And when i ask him about it, he says, "Oh, my phone died." or "Oh, my phone didn't get that message." yeah right. 3. When he goes to bed, he used to call me to tell me goodnight and i love you. Guess what? Yeah, that stopped too. 4. I told him that I was feeling disconnected from him, and he goes, "What do you want me to do about it?" and my heart broke into a million pieces and i ended up saying, "Never mind, just forget about it. It's my fault." 5. My friend told me today that whenever we're together, I look happy, but he doesn't. I don't know if this is true, because he seems happy to me, and she's a little bit biased because she doesn't really like that I have a boyfriend. Sorry that was so long. But that's my issue. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sick of it. I don't want to text him or talk to him anymore because I'm so hurt. Should I break it off? This breakup would really leave a mark... What do you think?
Truly Lost Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 If you break up, make absolutely sure its what you want. Some people break up with someone and realize later that they didn't want that at all. Then later attempt to get their ex back, only to discover that their ex won't take them back, which sucks even worse. Your issues are genuine concerns that anyone would want to address in a relationship. You should get to the bottom of what is going on. Ask him to come by your place for a quiet night alone, then tell him you have had some concerns and need to ask him if he is still happy being with you because you have noticed that some things he used to do have stopped and is starting to make you unhappy. If he argues with you and says there isn't anything (like before), and doesn't know why you made this a discussion (like before)....BEWARE. It could mean he is preparing to break up with you, but isn't ready to do it yet. Your boyfriend should want you to be happy and if you confronted him with a concern and he dismisses it.....that speaks volumes. But again, only break up with him if you are ready to. No one on here should tell you that you should absolutely break up because we only have bits and pieces of the issues involved. Your decision to stay or break up is going to effect your feelings and his, no one elses. Good luck.
Author fieldhockeyislove Posted February 3, 2009 Author Posted February 3, 2009 thanks so much. that really helps. ill try one more time to talk to him, after i cool off first...
socialight Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 hockey -- he's a guy, not a mind reader. make sure you give him SPECIFICS on what it is you want, how often to communicate, habits, etc. No he will not "figure it out on his own if he really loves you". Just be straightforward and honest -- and make sure when you tell what you want you give him specific actionable directions (ex, call me at night before you go to bed, etc). IF he is texting twice a day i am pretty sure he still cares.
irishsimon Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 He may just be getting comfortable with you or his feelings may be changing as the buzz of the new wears off. Did you play hard to get at the start? You dont say how long you have been together. I reckon texting twice a day is fairly attentive but if you expect more you need to spell it out. Communication is vital. And he needs to do a bit of that as well.
Author fieldhockeyislove Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 okay so i tried spelling it out for him. I called him and told him EVERYTHING that i felt, but when he was beginning to respond my phone died. When I plugged it back in i had a message waiting apoloqizing for being a bad boyfriend and for blowing off my friends and not spending enough time with me....... what the heck. i never said ANYTHING about blowing off my friends or not spending enough time with me!! was he even listening? what do i do now? do i be like, "ummm...you missed everything..."
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