Author moman Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 Then do you really care for her the way you think you do? When the major attraction factor was her virginity?! You were both just ONLINE ACQUAINTANCES when you spoke online. When you meet someone new obviously there are a few issues that you skirt, maybe because you've been conditioned to believe that the person won't like you exactly as you are... so maybe she was doing that, maybe her society and family imposed such guilt on her for maybe giving in just once to her last bf that she began to believe that you would never want to move on with her if she told you. So maybe she decided to not say anything for a while since you weren't serious yet, but then when you both met in person she realized that she did want you and thought maybe you were different, since you seemed to accept her in all other aspects! And you completely overreacted, IMO. Geez, when you said she 'dropped the bomb' I half expected that you were going to say she'd told you she had HIV or 5 underaged kids or a husband! I agree with Geishawhelk 100%. And here I was thinking that Caucasian men were far more open-minded and reasonable where the hymen or lack of it was concerned. I'm very open minded about the hymen and virginity. I have been engaged before in a LTR and this topic was never brought up once then. I knew that girl had boyfriends, she knew I had girlfriends, and it was cool. The issue is NOT the virginity. It's about that the girl spent 4 months drilling into my head that she wanted to wait until the honeymoon night, yadda yadda yadda. She mentioned it so many times that I finally asked her not to bring it up anymore because I understood and was tired of hearing about all the different ways in which she could tell me "NO". Don't turn this issue into one that it's not - I just wanted to make sure I can trust her and I want her to trust me. She was upset at me because we were at a restaurant and she received a text message and informed me that some "guy just asked me out". I shrugged and went back to my lunch, but she got upset that I didn't have a reaction. I suggested to her that I don't like her 'game' or 'test' or whatever it was, and that is when she asked me about the virginity thing, and I told her I was having the trust issue, and this whole issue started.
clv0116 Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 The first time (between us) is perhaps how she justified that one. That's actually my first thought when I hear that.
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