Jumpers Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Hi, I am new to all of this and I have not been in contact with my ex for nearly 3 months - we were together for 2.5 years. He was distancing and I decided that I just really didn't want to try anymore. So, one night I just said that.....'You've been distancing and we should end this'. So, he has contacted infrequently by e-mail and telephone saying he is not walking away from me, wants to go for coffee.....called a good friend of mine asking him to pass a message to me to say that he had no intention of not seeing me or going out with me thinking I had misconstrued his actions. And Sunday he texted me saying 'miss you'. I know that NC is important and I am torn between just not responding or saying "let's talk". I do believe he is seeing someone else now. If there is a chance to get back together I would consider it but to me he hasn't said that. Just that he didn't intend on breaking up with me....a little backwards. Any suggestions, thoughts, direction??
Geishawhelk Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Confirm whether he is seeing someone else now. Get that straight before coming to a decision, because if he is - leave well alone. if not, and he's still single, then you should consider carefully before you move, because neither of you want the same-old same-old.... But if he IS seeing someone else now, he seems to be contradicting what he was saying before.... Is he a relationship 'light-weight'....?
Author Jumpers Posted February 3, 2009 Author Posted February 3, 2009 Thanks Geishawhelk! I think I know what you mean by 'relationship light-weight'...is that someone who just collects relationships or flits from one to another? For those 2.5 years we were together, didn't live together but spent a lot of time together. I do know that he spent a weekend with a woman that I have met but would never imagine he would be with. How serious that is, I have my doubts. I am always one to take a chance and would prefer to 'go down in flames' than to miss an opportunity to see if the relationship could be saved - and improved. My point really is that he hasn't come back saying anything more than 'I miss you' and 'I didn't intend to break up or walk away'. I aksed my friend what his tone was and he said, lost puppy....in limbo. But still, I don't feel like he's making a great effort. Perhaps this is the only effort he is able to give.....So, if I do respond to a text of 'miss you', how do I counter? "Let's talk"?
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