dayon Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 k. well here's my problem... im in college...junior year. i've known this girl for awhile now, 2 years or so...we became best friends immediately, shared everything together...it was fun...i wasnt attracted to her she wasnt to me... a year goes by we start dating...we like each other a lot, we are close and everything is going well things start to go bad, for a couple reasons, over summer she goes home and we're about an hour away and i work a crazy schedule so we don't see each other much. we end up breaking up ebcaus she thinks im jealous too much or that she cant make me happy...which is true...but yah, it was a bad break up...we dont talk about it, talk to each other for hte next 6 months.... so yah it's safe to say 4 of those months sucked a lot..like i had a hard time getting over her, she never game me closure, and idk, i lost my best friend and my girl friend in one day... but then about a month after we break up...a friend of mine, well i thought a friend...moves in on her...they hang out a lot, and about a month ago, unoffically are dating...so it was frustrating, but i was okay with it...i had forgiven her, and had for the most part moved on... then about a week ago...me and her talk for the frist time really... we findout we are thinking the same things... i miss her, she misses me...i care a lot about her still and she does for me too.... we talk for like 8 hours this past week about us and what she wanst to do... she's really ambitious and wants to be a business women and travel and is a senior this year, so she's almost out of time at college... i understand this and her priorities right now are not a relationship... so recently she tells the kid she's been kinda dating that she cant do it...partly because she doesnt want a relationship and manily because i told her i want her back...she loves that i want her back..she misses me... she tells me taht she can see us together for awhile..but that she doesnt want to start it yet because she wanst her independence for now...ie like 5 years down that road is when she wants to get marrie...and i already knew this about her, but ya know, i want her... so i say aight, i'll be chill and cool abuot it... she wants to be best friends again, and to hang out and have fun...and i do too...but at the same time, ya know, i jsut want to have her... anwya...i dont know what i should do, it's only been a week..and i know she wants me but is holding back because she just got outta this thing with this kid, and she wants to concentrate on school and getting a job and stuff, which are important i know...but do i go along with it? do i wait for her? i can safely say i love this girl...and i know she lvoes me...but it's just not the right timing for her. is it foolish of me to wait? or do i just be chill about it and see where it goes?
BackonTrack2 Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 those are all excuses, she is lieing to you. if she wanted you, she would make time for you. she knows if you two enter into a relationship, she cannot date others. she wants to date others she wants you as a best friend to have you there while she fawks others. if you want to be exclusive with her, part ways now before you fall back in love with her. she is not going to wait for you as you can see, she is already fawking other people. that guy didn't move in on her, she let him in, she knew what she is doing, she's a person too and has a brain as well no you should not wait for her because she is not waiting for you. as a female once told me in the past, i'm not sure if it applies to your situation but the conversation went like this. -- My girlfriend wants to be friends, why did she say that Because something your doing is turning her off and maybe sometime down the line if you two see each other and its still something there then you can re-start back up again ---- The friend thing is a easy way to let you know she is not interested. If you ask yourself a question, when was the last time you had sex with this GIRL? Does she like having sex? If she is not having sex with you, she is getting it from somewhere else. If its been longer than 3 months, you are already out of her system. If you have not been with another, then she is already one step ahead of you and she holds all the power, aka your a puppet on a string. but friends with her if you like, but know you will always love her if you are in contact with her and will always want more espcially if your not with someone else and she will just pity you for trying and she loves the attention your giving her right now, but what are you getting out the deal? are you getting sex? are you getting anything?? what is she getting out the deal?? a best friend to talk over her problems with?? a backup boyfriend? attention from a man who wants her what else is she getting? - those are three things you are giving her. are you OK with giving and giving and not getting what you want in return especially if you want something (her), if you say YES, then you are a DOORMAT and she definitely does not want you. If you don't want anything from her, then be her friend but obviously you do, which is why your posting seeking advice. and yes she misses you but your the past and she's fawking other people. who doesn't miss a boyfriend whom they had fun with? "He was nice, I miss him" then she goes over to her current BF house and has sex with them while you are there seeking advice on the internet. your options are few which you've already stated above, the question now is WHAT DO YOU WANT? I think this relationship is OVER for now. Maybe in a few years, you can reunite after she has finished "exploring" if she does not find her "soul-mate"
CaliGuy Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" (Glover) first then you will find the answer as to whether you should EVER wait on someone. Quote: "Never make someone a priority in your life who only sees you as an option."
Recommended Posts