joel Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Well pretty much i met this girl at the bookstore while she was looking at the book sale clearance section. i approached her and said hello and talked. pretty much a random approach-sheabout an average looking girl. i did at one point gave her my number and email addy out, and she without me asking wrote down her email addy out on a piece of papaer and gave it to me. we parted since i didn;t have much to talk anymore and said i had to go. see ya well i emailed her a few days ago, but haven\t heard from her yet. i emailed her again and she replied back today. i wrote at the top and she replied at the bottom. what i didn't like about her was her 4th line in the email shown below "|Will you buy me dinner". i did previously when i met her at the bookstore say "hey we can meet again and go for coffee" and she agreed. its just weird , but dinner and paying for it for a person i just met and now for 8 minutes. huh do you think this girl is a freeloader and looking for a free meal or not. i do believe she is from overseas korean. i'm not making a lot of money in my job,and saving up for things. so its not like a have money to blow either. i was thinking about meeting again for ice cream, coffee, and check out some scenarious in vancouver area since she is from out of town. imean if i like her then dinner would be a thing. i'm not even sure how long shes planning on staying in vancouver. i believe she said till sept i just don't like the idea of her expecting a dinner from me. why dinner, isn;t coffee, ice cream and walk in the park or around good enough . and we don;lt even now each other at all, but for 8 minutes we chatted what would u guys do in this sittuation-what would u do- Hi Jenny How are you doing today.we met at chapters a few days ago when are you free? want to meet for coffee? i can show you around vancouver theres this nice ice cream place near main st. HER RESPONSE Yes.. I remember you^^ How are you? I was a little bit busy because of my homework. I am free after school on thursday. Tomorrow and wednedsday i have an appointment. If you are also free on thursday, we can meet together.^^ Will you buy me a dinner?^^ Let me know if you are available or not^^ Take care~ See you
laRubiaBonita Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 maybe she thinks you are cheap and is feeling you out... you DID meet her in clearance section......
doomed Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Find a polite way to say: I always like to do coffee & ice cream & a walk for a first date, because if we completely creep each other out we can make a hasty exit. or Sure... I'll buy you any dinner you want, as long as its coffee and ice cream. or how about: I really don't make a lot of money, but I would like to take you out for coffee and ice cream. Are you interested ? or how about: OK. I'll buy you a dinner on our second date. You buy me a dinner for our first date.
Touche Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Wow how rude of her! I'd ignore the dinner comment and just say I have time to grab a coffee and dessert on (fill in the blank day) care to join me? But really, if I were you I wouldn't want to go out with a girl who is that rude.
D-Lish Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Wow, that's rude to ask such a thing. I could never imagine asking someone that!!! That comment alone would make me suspicious of her. You said yourself she's not even all that attractive to you... so why bother getting to know her further. Will you buy me dinner...geesh. I wouldn't even e-mail her back.
Ramrod Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Dude, again, you met her in the clearance section. LOL Seriously though, it doesn't sound like you can afford dinner dating at this time, best to stay off the scene until your finances are right, second, and this is my experience here in the States, my remark will be unpopular, but a woman like her, is probably fishing for goldfish. If you catch my drift.
D-Lish Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Dude, again, you met her in the clearance section. LOL Seriously though, it doesn't sound like you can afford dinner dating at this time, best to stay off the scene until your finances are right, second, and this is my experience here in the States, my remark will be unpopular, but a woman like her, is probably fishing for goldfish. If you catch my drift. I happen to agree. Anyone that would be so blatent about asking you to buy them dinner after knowing you for 8 minutes... not cool. If you want to know her real motives- shoot her back an email and let her know you'd love to take her for dinner in time but finances are a little tight and would love to take her for coffee. See what reaction (if any) you get.
eclipseIDE Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 Tell her you as long as she orders the tube steak smothered in underwear
Mag-Lone-Freak Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 yeah, I would suggest what you want with her first "coffee and ice cream"...
dashing daisy Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Why do you want to see her again? You didn't find her that attractive, and in her first e-mail back to you she asked you to buy her dinner. That makes it sound like all she wants from you is a free meal. Do you want to get involved with a girl like that? If you still want to see her, send her an email that says you'd like to grab coffee. See how she responds before pursuing further.
wuggle Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 What's the big deal, buy her dinner. How much does that cost ?
Trialbyfire Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 "Sure, dinner sounds like a good idea, how about Subway or Wrap Zone?"
Isolde Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 It is kind of crass, but maybe she really likes you. She's from overseas so she could think that this is the proper way to flirt with a guy/get him to take you out. Why not compromise and just take her to some fast food joint or cheap cafe? It's just ONE date. If you don't find her cute though don't respond.
moondogg Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Just buy the girl dinner, for all you know , this girl might be your soul mate.Maybe buying dinner is not considered to be rude or inapropriate in her culture on from where she comes from. Maybe she is just testing you. If you cant afford it then try to have coffee; I dont think its such a big deal. Once you actually sit down with her you will be able to establish whether she s a golddigger but you might also just be pleasantly surprized.
laRubiaBonita Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 you could always go on a picnic.... although, it is colder now...... but still, make a sandwich and soup, or salad... or whatever-- just feed the girl. maybe she wants to jump your bones.... but- as the feminist she is- she wants dinner first. who knows.... but like it was said, what if she is your soulmate?? and to think..... you couldn't even make her some ramen noodles?
pr-girl Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 I recommend saying you'd rather take her for coffee or ice cream because on a first date it can go either way. If you jokingly say it, you'll be fine. I've said that to guys before that wanted to take me to dinner and I said I'd rather go for a drink in case we ended up not liking each other very much. Then, I kind of giggled, so it sounded like a joke.
bean1 Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Hold on there! There's a bit of a culture issue here. First, how is her English? Asians almost always use direct questions (Give me the book... instead of, "would you please give me the book"). Something grammatical such as, "Could we go out for dinner together" wouldn't be introduced until an upper intermediate/advanced grammar ESL class. And that's if she remembers it! Not many do. In Chinese dialects, that can't even be translated. It does not exist. They do not understand why it is impolite. It's ok to state certain things that may seem offensive to us. For example, a Korean person may ask: "Why are you fat?". It's totally normal to say that. I work in ESL classes. It's a cultural thing. I do not think she explicity meant to offend you.
ReeWoo Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 I think that you should stop emailing her and look for someone else to spend time with.
Shygirl15 Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Will you buy me dinner...geesh. I wouldn't even e-mail her back. lol!! I was thinking the same thing. Where is she from, though? It could be that she's just not fluent in English.
seamaid Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 In some Asian cultures, especially Korean, it's part of the culture for a girl to expect a guy who likes her to treat her to things, like dinner, as a kind of protective, chivalrous gesture of manhood (not to mention proof of stability and security). Yes, it does encourage girls to behave a bit like a spoiled princess but in Korea, guys expect that and enjoy spoiling the women, if they really like them. I think when she asked you to buy her dinner, it was meant to be more playful than serious, but if you do like her enough, you would be expected to go along with it more than willingly.
Chat Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I agree that it is cultural - I lived in Australia for 17 years and my closest friends were asian - they are direct. But what is the real issue here? Your offended that someone was upfront - yeesh why dont you do the same - if there was the guarantee of sex at the end of it would you be more inclined to feed her? And being asian DUDE I dont think she eats much! With all the men out there who are single (and women) you complain - you mustered courage, you asked the girl, you got a response - buy the girl dinner - what happened to chivarly? I think your confused - what do you want Joel?
Enema Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 "I'll be happy to buy you a dinner if there's a happy ending"
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