Untouchable_Fire Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Ah, SG, it's a subtle difference. I feel like they have more power over me objectively, but I think I'm worthy subjectively. Whatever... it's all based on your opinions and feelings... Therefore it's all subjective. Unless your just meaning to say he could beat you in an arm wrestling challenge. Just think about what I said. I may not be 100% correct, but I believe I am on to something. I am simply trying to understand why the mutual attraction is rare for me to come by. It's not always the guy who isn't as attracted to me, sometimes its the other way around, so this is not soley about the fact I might feel slightly unattractive at times. It's never about just one thing. It's typically how several things interact. However, the overall point is that your "attraction" mechanism is broken. There is a good chance this is why. Yeah, you want to date attractive people, but when the guys that are attracted to you... are not attractive to you... there is a problem going on. Either your Fugly and dont realize it... or more likely as I paraphrase the great Groucho Marx. You don't want to be involved in any club that would have you as a member.
Isolde Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Whatever... it's all based on your opinions and feelings... Therefore it's all subjective. Unless your just meaning to say he could beat you in an arm wrestling challenge. Just think about what I said. I may not be 100% correct, but I believe I am on to something. So what are you trying to get me to do? Go for guys I don't find even remotely attractive? That's been done on this board so many times, in so many threads. It's futile.
Author LoveLace Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 Yeah, you want to date attractive people, but when the guys that are attracted to you... are not attractive to you... there is a problem going on. Either your Fugly and dont realize it... or more likely as I paraphrase the great Groucho Marx. You don't want to be involved in any club that would have you as a member. Yes the problem is that most, if not all, of the guys attracted enough to me are losers that I would never take home to mom and dad. That's not something I can look past, no matter what they look like. Sometimes they are perfectly fine-looking, but that's out the window when they don't have a job or a car. It's either that, or they are both unattractive AND a loser... The guys I'm most attracted to are either taken or they simply don't feel "that way" towards me for whatever reason, hence the friend zone. So I've tried to lower my standards somewhat...like this..."maybe he's not drop dead gorgeous but at least he has a job and he's cool!"....but with time that intense feeling of attraction just doesn't seem to surface. Then it's HIM that ends up in the friend zone. Perhaps if I continue not to try and shoot for what seems to be "out of my league", I will hit the jackpot, but so far I just can't seem to find the right medium of attraction that I want and need to feel is between both parties.
PinkKittyKat Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Sometimes they are perfectly fine-looking, but that's out the window when they don't have a job or a car. It's either that, or they are both unattractive AND a loser... That's always confused me, the car thing. Maybe it's because I live in a big city where having a car can be sort of silly, but none of my ex bf's have had cars, some of them didn't know how to drive even, and I've never given it a second thought.... That really knocks a guy out of "dateability"?
Author LoveLace Posted February 6, 2009 Author Posted February 6, 2009 That's always confused me, the car thing. Maybe it's because I live in a big city where having a car can be sort of silly, but none of my ex bf's have had cars, some of them didn't know how to drive even, and I've never given it a second thought.... That really knocks a guy out of "dateability"? Ah yes in a place like NYC or something like that, there isnt much need for cars when there is abundant public transportation and such. I live in a city where public transportation is really only used as a last resort kind of thing. Cabs are mainly only used for picking up drunk people, and those who rely on buses are associated with a poverty-like stigma, also mainly only used in the heart of the city ("downtown"). The one and only subway service we have mainly just runs from the city to a west-side county...I'd have to drive miles to get to the nearest subway station. In other words driving around here is the bulk of transportation, in the same sense that cabs are the bulk of it in NYC....so around here, if you are in your 30's and you don't have a car, usually a bad employment history presents itself along with it, hence a guy you probably don't want to be involved with...not to mention he doesn't have the ability to pick you up and take you out...
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