SoundValues Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Confirmed that my wife is sleeping with not one but two other men. She needs help and I hope to hell that I haven't caught anything. Don't know if B knows theres a C. I'll deal with my wife later. Talked to a shrink who believes that she has some real medical and psych issues that can get better with medicine. I know one of the two guys sleeping with her. He's not married. How can I mess with him? I'm interested in things to do to him that don't break the law.
KismetGirl Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Confirmed that my wife is sleeping with not one but two other men. She needs help and I hope to hell that I haven't caught anything. Don't know if B knows theres a C. I'll deal with my wife later. Talked to a shrink who believes that she has some real medical and psych issues that can get better with medicine. I know one of the two guys sleeping with her. He's not married. How can I mess with him? I'm interested in things to do to him that don't break the law. Trying to talk to her lovers won't help anything at all. if you intend to save your marriage the only person you need to be talking to is her. Acting like a teenager and saying you need to "mess" with the guys sounds somewhat ridiculous. And I don't know what shrink you talked to that thinks youre wife needs therapy and medications just because she's had affairs but that shrink needs to go back to school. You need to talk to your wife, and you need to get tested for STD's, and you need to both go to marriage counseling. Forget "messing with the guys". Waste of time and makes you look like as big of an idiot as your wife. Sorry to be blunt, but hey, you asked. And FYI, don't know where you live, but if you harrass anyone eventually you'll get into some trouble legally if they find out it's you.
katterskacy Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Yeah, being the "other women" like Iam now, I wouldn't bother with those guys. Don't "mess" with them. I just had the girlfriend of the man I'm seeing cuss me out and say horrible things. I feel bad, and I'm sure she does not feel better about the situation either. She really hurt me with her words. I know what I did was wrong, but I never intended to hurt her. It won't fix anything if you "mess" with someone else.
TOWinNYC Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 SV - I understand your anger and rage at this moment. Take a breath, step back and think. I'm not saying what your wife is doing is right. BUT there are two people involved in your marriage. Your wife and YOU. Your wife may have med/psych issues but I recommend some serious marriage counseling if you want (WANT being the key word) to save your marriage. The other men - they're not the problem. They're just a symptom of what's wrong with your M. The anger you feel is misdirected - if anything it should be towards your wife. After all, she's the one who broke her vows.
Trialbyfire Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Without details, it's difficult to know what to do, that's within the confines of the law. If you can afford it, you can always put a PI on him to find out more about him. The flipside is, are you certain this piece of trash is worth your time and emotion? Anything you do to him, you have to be able to live with. Take your time in deciding whether it's worth your effort or not.
Mr. Lucky Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 How can I mess with him? By making sure that he ends up with your wife ? Mr. Lucky
Trialbyfire Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 By making sure that he ends up with your wife ? Mr. Lucky Perfect!
quankanne Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 you won't get any good advice on your inquiry from most people on this forum, especially women. bah! A pox on you, man-child! My suggestion (and it is a legitimate one) is for the cuckolded husband to get a tested for STDs and send a brief note to each of the men suggesting they do the same since all of them are sleeping with this woman. it sounds mean, but it's really more of a public health thing because of the possibility of an STD being spread by one particular carrier ... and you can list names on the letter as a CC thing on the bottom.
laRubiaBonita Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 How can I mess with him? well.... you could give them both a STD.... talk about some payback!
Trialbyfire Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 bah! A pox on you, man-child! My suggestion (and it is a legitimate one) is for the cuckolded husband to get a tested for STDs and send a brief note to each of the men suggesting they do the same since all of them are sleeping with this woman. it sounds mean, but it's really more of a public health thing because of the possibility of an STD being spread by one particular carrier ... and you can list names on the letter as a CC thing on the bottom. Oh, oh, add many, many, many, many names to the bottom of the letter!! "To go where every man has gone before!"
mc1 Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 you won't get any good advice on your inquiry from most people on this forum, especially women. bah! A pox on you, man-child! My suggestion (and it is a legitimate one) is for the cuckolded husband to get a tested for STDs and send a brief note to each of the men suggesting they do the same since all of them are sleeping with this woman. it sounds mean, but it's really more of a public health thing because of the possibility of an STD being spread by one particular carrier ... and you can list names on the letter as a CC thing on the bottom. That is a good one I doubt I would have done anything... but I'm glad the OW in my H's affair was on the other side of the country when I found out. For me though, revenge, while it can be entertaining for a while, never actually helps me get over anything.
Strong One Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 I don't think it really is the OP fault - it is the person in the relationship who is cheating that is in the wrong, that is, if you have to point the finger. Maybe both men know your wife is married but is there a chance they do not know? I think it could be a waste of energy to direct your attention at the OP ... instead you could direct it at dealing with the A and the M and taking care of yourself to handle this crappy situation. Just a thought.
65tr6 Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 well.... you could give them both a STD.... talk about some payback! lol. This is hilarious. I havent laughed this hard in a while. thanks for that. OP, focus on you and your wife....Find out everything about the OMen. But do NOT do anything to contact them directly. Not worth it. The information you gather will be handy to expose.
BentSpine Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 The only person you have control over is yourself. Unless your partner had a gun to her head, she did everything she did out of her own free will. If you choose stay in the relationship, you actively choose to continue being treated this way. But if you want to be treated better, you must leave her and her behaviour behind you and instead seek a more suitable partner. A partner who will, without pursuasion and of her own free will, act in a way that makes you feel valuable. Believe that there is such a woman out there. I'm protective of my special woman. But if my special woman expresses interest in another man, he can have her. And I will look for a better woman to protect. It took quite a bit of effort to write a helpful post instead of insulting your way of thinking. I hope I won't regret taking the effort.
torranceshipman Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 The shrink is an ass - she was sleeping with other guys because she is a cheater with no class - NOT because she has any psych condition. Even if she has issues that could require medication, that is NO EXCUSE for her deciding to sleep with two other guys!!!! Do NOT be pulled into making any excuses for her behavior and really dude...you shouldnt be takin her back after the way she behaved.
hunkahunkaburninlove Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 We are not talking an emotional affair here. Or even the other men she is getting boffed by. We are talking about your wife being with other men and laughing about it behind your back. Here is a question I always wonder with every BS. When she comes home after having her mouth all over these other guys nether regions and I mean ALL their nether regions. When she comes home and french kisses you. Do you think she is wondering "I bet my husband would freak if he knew he was giving my boyfriends head and ATDs by proxy.LOL".
Reggie Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 I think many BSs toy withthe idea of getting some form of revenge on the OM/OW. It is natural, IMO. But, as others have said, it really does no good and makes you look bad. Your wife may very well have psych problems. I expect you discussed things with the shrink other than just the affairs, although the affairs alone show she has issues and is dishonest. Have you looked at the possibility of a personality disorder or Bi-Polar? In any case , it is very tough for most people to get past the cheating. So, don't rule out the possibility of divorce.
Phateless Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Confirmed that my wife is sleeping with not one but two other men. She needs help and I hope to hell that I haven't caught anything. Don't know if B knows theres a C. I'll deal with my wife later. Talked to a shrink who believes that she has some real medical and psych issues that can get better with medicine. I know one of the two guys sleeping with her. He's not married. How can I mess with him? I'm interested in things to do to him that don't break the law. Grow a pair of balls and leave your wife. Leave the other guys alone, it will not make you feel any better to mess with them. This is HER fault alone, not theirs. Leave her, get an apartment, buy some new clothes, get a haircut, join a gym, take swing and salsa dancing lessons, sign up for a dating or social gathering website, and maybe get yourself a motorcycle. You will be just fine.
Dexter Morgan Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Confirmed that my wife is sleeping with not one but two other men. She needs help and I hope to hell that I haven't caught anything. Don't know if B knows theres a C. I'll deal with my wife later. Talked to a shrink who believes that she has some real medical and psych issues that can get better with medicine. I know one of the two guys sleeping with her. He's not married. How can I mess with him? Believe me, I understand the contempt for men/women that sleep with other peoples' spouses. And they do have responsibility in their heathenistic actions. but it isn't them you should be worried about, at least not first. You need to deal with the wh0re of a wife of yours first. actually, why do you even still want her skank ass? You thought about divorce? I'm interested in things to do to him that don't break the law. How about something to your wife that won't break the law??
Dexter Morgan Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 I've got it!! You want to mess with this guy and kill 2 birds with one stone?? Pack your wife's belongings, show up at his doorstep. When he answers, throw her crap in his pad and say, "you want to sleep with my wife, then you can take care of her and she can stay with you......and by the way, thanks for doing me a huge favor". Then walk away. If he tries to chase you down to give the stuff back, refuse to take it. Get in your car and drive off.
Phateless Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 I've got it!! You want to mess with this guy and kill 2 birds with one stone?? Pack your wife's belongings, show up at his doorstep. When he answers, throw her crap in his pad and say, "you want to sleep with my wife, then you can take care of her and she can stay with you......and by the way, thanks for doing me a huge favor". Then walk away. If he tries to chase you down to give the stuff back, refuse to take it. Get in your car and drive off. I agree with this. Get the locks changed while she is out and leave her stuff with the guy. Don't even say a word to her. She'll figure it out when she goes to his house because she is locked out of yours.
Dexter Morgan Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 This is almost like saying there are no consequences for a man who wants to chase after married women and wreck marriages, therefore it is OK to do this. Do you think it is OK for me if I call your wife and ask her for a date, and pursue her until I get in her panties? good point, and no offense to Phat, but I don't think too many people put it in that perspective when saying the OM/OW has no responsibility in these situations.
Woggle Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Divorce your wife and move on happily with your life. As for those two men forget they ever existed. They will deal with your wife eventually and get what's coming to them.
Phateless Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 good point, and no offense to Phat, but I don't think too many people put it in that perspective when saying the OM/OW has no responsibility in these situations. Ok let me rephrase that. The other person shares some responsibility, like in my mind maybe 20%, but the bulk of the responsibility lies with the person who broke a commitment. I don't care HOW intensely some guy pursues my girl, I trust her to reject him because she loves me. Now he's still a dick for pursuing her, but if she cheats, it's her fault for giving in, not his fault for pursuing. Giving blame to the other person alleviates the person who cheated. "I couldn't help it, he just wouldn't stop." Grow up.
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