Truly Lost Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 I've posted a few thread on here about my ex and the situation I went through with him. I apologize to those people who are sick of hearing about it. I saw him yesterday because he owes me money and is trying to pay me back. He insisted that he was going to hand deliver payments to me and I foolishly agreed. Well, as you can imagine...seeing him after not seeing him for a month really screwed me up. I felt like we were breaking up all over again. He was cold to me, he had his brother waiting in his car. Our conversation went nowhere and didn't resolve anything. He just delivered a payment and left to go back to his life without me. I contacted him later that day to ask him to mail the payments to me from now on because seeing him hurt too much. I felt used. The thing is, I don't know for sure if I broke up with him or him with me. I guess its mutual. Long story short....we got into a fight and I asked him if he wanted to work with me on our relationship and he said no, not right now, I need time to think. I told him I can't let him do that to me, (string me along, that is). I really think he broke up with me. I posted a previous thread about our meeting and someone mentioned that since I broke it off with him, I will have to be the one to contact him if I want to try and reconcile. I have contacted him in a few texts messages today. But he didn't reply to any of them. I then called since he wasn't replying, but he didn't pick up. So now he is ignoring me. Nice. Don't know why since even in the little time we did communicate this last month he alway picked up or responded. I do still love him, but there are a lot of issues about him that makes it a better idea to keep things how they are (broken up). He doesn't have a good paying job and is always broke. He is always broke because the majority of his pay goes to child support for two kids. He can't afford to live with me so he lives with his dad at an extremely cheap rate, unreasonable for the real world cost of living. He is in his 30s!!! Actually we never had the "lets move in together" conversation because it isn't something he can financially handle. This is why I have to reconsider wanting to be with him because he can't provide anything. I really wish I had an emotion chip, like Data in "Star Trek" and be able to turn it off. Its silly to want him back, but its probably because I'm hurt, lonely and he is the only person who can make this pain go away right now. I miss his company and the intimacy. I'm reluctant to want to find that with someone else. I want it from him. I just wish it didn't cost money to survive, then I wouldn't have to worry about his financial situation. I want to know from him that he wanted to end our relationship because then I wouldn't feel compelled as much to contact him to reconcile. When someone breaks up with you it leaves the other person with the decision to reconcile or leave it alone. Because you can't, as the dumpee, get someone to take you back. The dumper has to want you back. I just don't know what I'm doing.
Author Truly Lost Posted February 3, 2009 Author Posted February 3, 2009 Ugh, no comments. I guess I really have dragged this out.
Geishawhelk Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 You won't get comments immediately, and that's nothing against you. remember there are rtime lapses and differences, due to geographical logistics. I'm afraid he's making his decision abundantly clear. He doesn't want to talk to you any more, and talking to him will only make things worse, because although it's what you want, it won't bring you closure, only pain. That old chestnut, "No Contact" is rearing its head, and it's what you need to do, from this moment on. GIve him your bank co-ordinates and ask him to implement a direct transfer from his account to yoursd. That way, you won't even have to open the mail. If - and only if - you feel the need to write to him, try to keep the letter on an emotional even keel. Express that you're disappointed that he won't talk to you and help you gain closure, because you're very hurt by his attitude, but then tie up loose ends, sign off and never contact him again. That's it and all of it really.
Recommended Posts