Francesco Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Please bear with me, this might be kind of long but I need your motivation. So for those of you who don't know, I was in a great relationship for over 3 years. I was completely in love with a girl who I began dating in high school. When I went away to college things got complicated and she left me. Well, now she goes to the same college as me, we have a class together, but we don't speak at all. We broke up over a year ago and I have periods where I am doing great and loving life and periods where I really miss her. When she first got to my college and we found out we had a class together, we tried talking and even studied together but things got complicated. Now she is dating a senior, who as much as I hate to say it, seemed like a nice guy. They have been dating for five months, and for those five months I haven't even looked in her direction. I walk into our class of 15 or so students, sit down, and then walk out when its over. We walk by each other daily around campus but we both act like we are texting or reading something. Its hard and I want to talk to her, but I know I shouldn't. She broke my heart, is in another relationship, and doesn't deserve anything from me but I still feel the urge to contact her sometimes. For the past 5 months Ive been doing great. Im playing on our rugby team, am very active in my fraternity, and am having a great time partying...but at the end of the night I can't help but think of her. How can I stop myself from breaking NC? Also, last weekend I was at a bar and saw her boyfriend walk in without her. I couldnt help but watch him and the whole night he was flirting with this other girl and at one point holding her hand. It made me sick, but whats worse is that as a joke a bunch of guys from my fraternity and another fraternity thought it would be funny to rent a shuttle bus to take us to a strip club...and her boyfriend got on the bus! I know she wouldn't approve, and I just don't think anyone with a girlfriend should step foot ina strip club. It made me sick and even though I was drunk, I refrained from confronting this kid and texting the ex. It bothers me he is doing this, but I am able to sit back and let her find out on her own. But I need motivation to keep from talking to her. I feel like Im about to break again. Give me some motivation please! How can I stop thinking about her?
justletgo07 Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I know you care about your ex, and I'm sure you don't want her to be treated badly. However, if you contacted her, you'd be doing it for completely sefish reasons. Sure, it would be out of concern, but it would mostly be because you want her to come back to you. Odds are, this would backfire. She might get mad at you, and think you're just trying to cause problems. If she believes you, it could cause major problems in her current relationship, but believe me, she wouldn't see you as a hero. You'd become associated with whatever stress and grief she was dealing with, and those things don't exactly help with attraction. I know you think that it would be sweet and nice and whatever, but in reality, those things wouldn't make her think twice about dating you again. So basically, you're faced with contacting her, which has a high probability of failing you and leaving you feeling worse, or doing nothing, and letting her figure out her boyfriend's character on her own. Sounds like you are already very involved and keeping yourself busy. Keep it up. You seem to be doing pretty well...no reason to go and screw it up.
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