Vivid_29 Posted September 27, 2003 Posted September 27, 2003 How many people on this forum still dream of their ex? All this week, I've been dreaming of my exgirlfriend and it's driving me nuts. We've been broken up for almost two months now and she's still fresh in my mind. Why now?Could it be because the reality of the loss just actually hit me? Is their an end to this madness???
Paulie Posted September 27, 2003 Posted September 27, 2003 Its part of the healing process...dont beat yourself up over thinking about it...its ok...in your own time, you'll do fine without her, and eventually (or maybe immediately) find some other chick to be with... Paulie
2SidestoStories Posted September 27, 2003 Posted September 27, 2003 The breakup of a relationship, even when it's 'amicable,' is a traumatic event. Things that perhaps you were once used to having are no longer there, and although this may be a good thing (as it is in my case) that does not provide immediate release of the emotional attachment that you experienced with your ex. I still find myself having dreams about my ex, although almost always, the instant I recognize that it's my ex I'm dreaming about, the dream either turns very sour or I wake up in almost a panicked sort of way. If I remember correctly, you had a relatively long term relationship with your lady. This will likely affect you for some time on some levels. There is a possibility that you will dream about her for years to come, although the frequency of the dreams will tend to drop as time passes. The best way to let someone go entirely is to stop resisting the release: your subconscious may be telling you that you still harbor feelings that are best left to the winds, and perhaps rather than being frustrated at having the feelings/dreams, etc. you can accept that they are there, and just trust that "this too shall pass." Best Wishes!
Iamhappy Posted September 27, 2003 Posted September 27, 2003 It helps so much to hear this. I suffer from trying to consciously suppress my thoughts about the evil ex and I end up with emotionally gut-wrenching dreams. It's good to know that in time these dreams will have less of an impact.
yes Posted September 27, 2003 Posted September 27, 2003 surpressing thoughts about your ex isn't a good idea, i don't think. it's going to take a certain amount of thinking about him and the relationship and why it ended, before you can move on - i think that's normal. so just let yourself think about him if you like, but at the same time stay busy. in a while, you'll naturally stop thinking about him. even then, he may appear in your dreams sometimes. and that's OK - it shows that the relationship meant something to you, which is great - people who're too cold-blooded about love have no hearts, so to speak. -yes
HokeyReligions Posted September 27, 2003 Posted September 27, 2003 This is just my thought on the subject. There are emotions in a relationship that feel good. Like hugging or holding hands or going on a picnic or laughing, etc. When we dream about an ex what we are really doing is mourning the loss of those emotions, and routines. The last person we shared them with was the ex so we associate those things with that person. In dreams we are not bogged down with the day-to-day activities and worries, etc. so the dreams can seem pure. When we awake we begin to doubt and wonder about the end of the relationship, and we tie the emotions to that person. We need to realize that those are OUR emotions and we keep them to share, or not, with others. The ex does not take them when they leave. The negative or hurtful emotions are the same way. And again we need to remember that those are also OUR emotions to keep or share with others. We often project those emotions onto new relationships out of fear or desperation, or out of hope and desire in the case of positive emotions.
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