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progress............


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Posted

11 weeks post break-up. I've had a hard time trying to distract myself since I have no job. I went away for the weekend, to visit friends I haven't seen in a long time, who have been an enormous help to me in the past few months post break-up. A change is as good as a holiday! I had a great time. I had a weepy moment yesterday alright, but otherwise...............good! I went out and kissed two guys...............not on the same night! That's the first time since I was with my ex. I kind of expected to feel guilty...............I realise that makes no sense, I'm not in a relationship. Haven't been for a long time now. It feels way longer than just three months because I've had so much time off to myself. But it didn't bother me really to kiss someone. I dunno how big a step it was! one of the guys has been texting me since..........But I'm not interested in pursuing it anyway, we live too far away and he's a good bit younger than me! I guess I'm just glad I got over that hurdle.

 

Still missing the ex................but feeling WAY better. Still feel like contacting him....................I don't know why. But at the moment I'm acknowledging I feel that way, but I'm not going to do anything about it.

 

I got a phone call one day last week, from a friend I met through him, and ended up working with for a while. I haven't heard from her since a few weeks after the break-up. She wants me to come and visit. The phone call cheered me up no end. Because not only had I lost my ex.................I'd lost all the wonderful friends I'd made through him. or thought so anyway. She asked me how I was doing (re breakup) and I said fine, wish I'd had a job to help me through it, but otherwise good. I asked how my ex was. She says she hasn't seen him, he's been really busy. She's asked her boyf who works with him how he's been but he said he never talks about it. I was tempted to ask is he with anyone now. I didn't though. I'm so looking forward to visiting them and catching up.....................but I realise there's also a chance I'll bump into my ex. I think I'd rather be prepared if he's with someone, rather than running into him and a new girl......................I'd like to think it won't bother me, but I know it will. anyway, it's going to be a month before I make that visit. Any comments?

Posted

Just keep doing what you're doing.

I know it's a hard thing to do, but understand that just as you have every right to move on and find someone new, he has that right and possibility too.

he might have slighted you, and in your eyes, he's hurt you deeply, but - and I hate to sound unsympathetic - it happens.

Break-ups happen all the time. Sometimes people pick themselves up really quickly, and for others it takes longer, but eventually, we find a new mood, a new feeling and a new way of looking at things. If we let ourselves.

Let yourself.

 

Take a deep breath every morning, and wonder to yoursslf what new surprises the day may bring.

 

One poster here, who had been alone for a long time, found love in the most unexpected place - stuck and wheel-spinning in a snow-pile!

 

let go a little more each day.

Pretty soon, you'll be wondering what all the fuss was about. :cool:

  • Author
Posted

thanks geisha. sometimes I find it hard to figure out what I'm crying over................Do I miss him, or is it that he hurt me so bad that I'm still crying? It's good to not see him. I realise that would confuse me.

 

Do you think it would be wrong of me to ask said mutual friend if my ex is with someone? I'm not doing it to give me hope of reconciliation. I'm beginning to realise that's not an option. I realise too that he has the right to find someone else. And that hurts, but I know I have to let go. I realise I have the right to that too. But I know it will hurt to see him with someone else, if indeed that is the case. Am I better to be prepared? it's ages away anyway. I won't be texting anytime soon to find out.

Posted

If you think it would help you deal with seeingh him, better, then sure... why not...?

 

Maybe wait a bit nearer the time to see how you feel then. And tell her you would like to know just to be able to stave off any nasty shocks....

bet to be prepared.

 

But try to not think about it too much. At one point or another, he will surely be wondering whether - and even hoping that - you'll have found someone else....

 

look forward to that day....!

  • Author
Posted

definitely going to wait till closer to the time, no point doing it now really (now that's progress!). thanks geisha. going to try not to think about it. feeling way better after last few days alone, it was so good to be somewhere different, see my friends, and little bit of positive male attention went a long way to making me feel better! I know you saw my miserable post last week! it's my ex's birthday this weekend. not going to text him! :bunny:

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