I am considering going on the pill and have some questions for both women and men

February 2, 2009

I've always been terrified of going on birth control pills because I'm afraid of how it will affect my hormones. I have no issues with depression, mania, or anything other than garden-variety anxiety, but I am a very emotional, and emotionally expressive, person. And I fear that bc pills will tip me over the edge and I won't feel in control of my emotional states. I'm also afraid of weight gain. I was in a long-term (5 years) relationship before my current one, and we only ever used condoms. But, my current partner has some ED issues owing to a spinal cord injury from several years ago, and the resulting nerve damage has reduced some of the feeling in his privates. Wearing a condom takes away what remaining sensation he has, and so for the first time I'm thinking of going on the pill. There's a mutual benefit to this: he feels more pleasure; I get more sex. My going on the pill potentially would be a slam-dunk solution for the sex issues we have--namely, that I feel strong desire for sex at MINIMUM every few days...and that he, who before his spinal cord injury was ALWAYS, he says, in some state of arousal, feels less desire physiologically as well as psychologically, because he's depressed about his lowered physical sensation during sex.

I'm just really, really afraid of going on the pill for some reason. I don't fully understand why...some of it has to do with the fact that my body is really healthy; everything has always worked; and I'm afraid to mess things up with a bunch of pills. I hardly ever take pills for anything.

To the women: what has your experience been with being on birth control pills? How have they affected you--your emotions, sex drive, weight, etc.?

And to the men: when you had a partner who was on the pill, did it make sex more enjoyable for you, because you (supposedly) could go "raw dog" and yet not have to worry about pregnancy?

Thanks. We've been circling around our sex issue for several months now and it seems like going on the pill would be a good step towards solving, or at least meliorating, the problem.

February 2, 2009

i never had terrible experiences with BC.... i was on the patch and ortho tricyclene lo.

i really didn't gain weight, which i feared- but my boobs went up 1-2 cup sizes, which was super nice!

i had 2-3 periods, less cramps, and maybe i was slightly less bitchy... i dunno.

i went off because i just didn't want to add any synthetic hormones to my body... and i smoke, so i would worry about blood clots.

BC are supposed to help with the emotional aspects of PMS, i thought.

also on the weight thing.... i think that just boils down to self control..... BC won't make you gain weight.... eating more will though, so just do not give into the temptation .

February 2, 2009

To the women: what has your experience been with being on birth control pills? How have they affected you--your emotions, sex drive, weight, etc.?

I did gain some weight on the Pill - from UK size 8 (32" / 81cm) to UK size 10 (34" / 87cm) - though some of my friends on different brand experienced a more substantial increase. I think that depends on your individual metabolism and how your body deals with that particular brand. The Pill basically causes your body to mimic being pregnant - some people are more susceptible to weight gain during pregnancy irrespective of eating or exercise habits.

My emotions were quite radically affected. It was it was like flattening out a rollercoaster - everything was more muted, more grey, less edgy. It may have made me easier to live with, but it compromised my creativity and made me feel like a fat dairy cow, placidly munching grass. Over time though it made me depressed, as though covered with a grey blanket. I stopped the Pill and the depression lifted.

I have a very high sex drive - and this certainly put a damper on it. It's well-established that the Pill reduces women's libido - and I've taken it from time to time for that purpose, to get my sex drive into more manageable proportion.

Although I'd taken the Pill on and off for many years, it was never a happy experience and always simply because there was no - is no - ideal contraceptive that is effective, safe and convenient, and at times the side effects of the Pill seemed better than, say, the heavier bleeding of the loop or the major inconvenience of the diaphragm.

But by far my major problem with the Pill was that I fell pregnant while on it - as do 1 out of every hundred women that take it (and there are millions of women on the Pill. That's a lot of unwanted pregnancies!)

My current contraceptive of choice is the contraceptive sponge. It might give your partner numb lips if he goes down on you while you're using it, but besides that it's side-effect free and causes no discomfort, and has been completely effective.

February 2, 2009

And to the men: when you had a partner who was on the pill, did it make sex more enjoyable for you, because you (supposedly) could go "raw dog" and yet not have to worry about pregnancy?

Absolutely. There's much more sensation without a condom.

February 2, 2009

i really didn't gain weight, which i feared- but my boobs went up 1-2 cup sizes, which was super nice!

Now THAT'S a nice side-effect

I also fear adding synthetic hormones to my body. I just feel like my body is in a great balance--I get my period like clockwork, I heal from minor injuries and illnesses quickly, generally I always feel good, and strong, and mentally with it. I fear tampering with that nice balance by introducing a bunch of crap to my system.

February 2, 2009

there are other forms of non-hormonal BC, besides condoms.. the sponge was mentioned, or an IUI- but they say you should have had a baby for that one.

your best bet is to talk with your gyno, express your concerns and your need for BC.... which is pretty much not to get pregnant in your stable relationship.

your gyno will know what may work better for you, your lifestyle and hopefully your gyno will be able to answer most if not all of your questions.

there are a ton of different types of BC out there, with diff. hormone combos, different doses, etc...

February 2, 2009

Absolutely. There's much more sensation without a condom.

+1. Once you go bareback it's hard to go back.

February 2, 2009

I did gain some weight on the Pill - from UK size 8 (32" / 81cm) to UK size 10 (34" / 87cm) - though some of my friends on different brand experienced a more substantial increase. I think that depends on your individual metabolism and how your body deals with that particular brand. The Pill basically causes your body to mimic being pregnant - some people are more susceptible to weight gain during pregnancy irrespective of eating or exercise habits.

My emotions were quite radically affected. It was it was like flattening out a rollercoaster - everything was more muted, more grey, less edgy. It may have made me easier to live with, but it compromised my creativity and made me feel like a fat dairy cow, placidly munching grass. Over time though it made me depressed, as though covered with a grey blanket. I stopped the Pill and the depression lifted.

I have a very high sex drive - and this certainly put a damper on it. It's well-established that the Pill reduces women's libido - and I've taken it from time to time for that purpose, to get my sex drive into more manageable proportion.

Although I'd taken the Pill on and off for many years, it was never a happy experience and always simply because there was no - is no - ideal contraceptive that is effective, safe and convenient, and at times the side effects of the Pill seemed better than, say, the heavier bleeding of the loop or the major inconvenience of the diaphragm.

But by far my major problem with the Pill was that I fell pregnant while on it - as do 1 out of every hundred women that take it (and there are millions of women on the Pill. That's a lot of unwanted pregnancies!)

My current contraceptive of choice is the contraceptive sponge. It might give your partner numb lips if he goes down on you while you're using it, but besides that it's side-effect free and causes no discomfort, and has been completely effective.

Your post totally freaked me out. I've heard similar stories. Particularly freaky to me is the flatlining of creativity. My mind works in very weird, abstract ways and I'm VERY emotionally sensitive, and I fear that getting dampened though I'm sure my partner not having to deal with my PMS (depression, tears, occasional bitchiness a day or two before my period) would be a nice bonus. But at the expense of creative flatlining? That scares the crap out of me.

And I, too, have a high libido...but I love that about myself! I'm CONSTANTLY thinking about sex, get aroused easily, have vivid fantasies, and I've been that way since, like, kindergarten. The loss of that would be like a loss of my identity! And what's ironic is that's exactly what my partner has been experiencing following his spinal cord injury. He used to be very, very high-libido; he defined himself by it; his girlfriends all loved him for it...and he cries because now he's met someone (me) he really, really wants to be with and he can't give me what he was able to give girlfriends past...and also he cries because he feels he's lost a part of his identity. What adds to the issues I already have with going on the pill is this very thing: that in order to fix the effects of HIS lowered libido on our sex life, the pill would be giving myself the SAME handicap! ANd I know it's irrational and perhaps really unfair, but I feel a bit resentful that here I am, perfectly sexually healthy...and I'm supposed to compromise that I feel guilty for feeling that way...but I AM trying to work around it.

I don't know much about the sponge; I'm going to look into it. Doesn't it have a comparatively low efficacy rate in preventing pregnancy?

And Tanbark, yeah, that's what guys always say. It's just, per my above paragraph...why should I have to compromise MY sexual sensation?

Can anyone see a different way around this issue than the pill?

February 2, 2009

+1. Once you go bareback it's hard to go back.

I love bareback too. My hope is that my going on the pill will heighten pleasure for both of us...but what if I go through all kinds of weird side-effects and then I still don't get more sex?

February 2, 2009

And Tanbark, yeah, that's what guys always say. It's just, per my above paragraph...why should I have to compromise MY sexual sensation?

You don't have to. I guess it depends on how much you're willing to do for your SO. Plus, there's no guarantee it will be worse for you but I can guarantee it will feel better for him.

Why not just get on the pill and if it doesn't work out then just stop? It's not like it's a permanent change.

February 2, 2009

You don't have to. I guess it depends on how much you're willing to do for your SO. Plus, there's no guarantee it will be worse for you but I can guarantee it will feel better for him.

Why not just get on the pill and if it doesn't work out then just stop? It's not like it's a permanent change.

You're totally right. It really should be simple, and I very much want BOTH of us to enjoy a great sex life together. I guess I'm afraid of not even noticing if I don't have the same amount of "juice" (creativity, libido), just becoming "grey" like OWoman described and not even connecting that the feeling could be due to the pill.

Not to bombard you with "period talk" but...just as an example...every month I feel a little off the day before my period. And EVERY MONTH, even though this has gone on for YEARS, I wonder why: "I feel so down, why do I feel so down..."--and then I get my period and I go, "Aha! THAT'S why I was so down in the dumps yesterday!" I mean, it's unbelievable. That's what I'm afraid of happening on a larger scale with the pill. That I'd "lose myself," i.e., lose my center, and not even know it.

February 3, 2009

It affects people so differently, the only way for you to know is for you to try it.

I became a raving b*&@# and got off of it quick. Had no problem with Depo. (do they still offer that?) So I think it's a matter of finding the right level of hormone for you, and the right way to administer it.

February 3, 2009

I love bareback too. My hope is that my going on the pill will heighten pleasure for both of us...but what if I go through all kinds of weird side-effects and then I still don't get more sex?

It should. It's night and day for me. I would think you two will be all over each other a lot more if you go that route. There's even evidence to show that semen acts as an anti-depressant for women:

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn2457-semen-acts-as-an-antidepressant.html

I always love to cite this article with women I'm involved with.

But seriously, you should weigh the good and bad and make a decision for what is best for you. If you think it is too much of a risk then don't do it. I think there would be plenty of women here that could tell you more about side effects, different types, etc.

February 3, 2009

I'm known for getting nasty side effects from medication, and I have not had any on my brand of pill. The worst, I think, was a bit of acne right after I first started taking it, and it cleared right up as my body adjusted. I haven't gained weight, my sex drive is just fine (ask my beloved), and my creativity is still through the roof. I did not turn into an emotionless zombie; actually, my PMS went away and I became much more pleasant during the week before my periods.

That's one woman on one kind of pill. Your gynecologist will hopefully explain the differences between the various brands; they do, in fact, have different ratios of estrogen to progesterone, different concentrations, etc. There are pills that let you skip periods for up to three months -- personally, not my cup of tea, because I like my monthly empty uterus reassurance! Then you've got your patches, your injectables, your rings (I... don't get that one, really).

Best of luck to you!

February 3, 2009

There's only three things that happened to me on the pill:

(1) My periods got much lighter and shorter;

(2) My cramps went from severe to almost non-existant;

(3) My skin clarity improved.

Not one negative thing.

February 3, 2009

I've been on the pill for probably 10 years now. I did have an allergic reaction with the first pill, but once I was put on a low-dose hormone I haven't had any problem.

I'm on Mircette and it's great. I have 4 periods a year (yay!), no drop in libido, no skin or weight issues and I certainly don't feel like a zombie! I guess I don't get that one. I also used to have 8-day long, heavy periods. Now, they are pretty light and last about 4 days and are far less painful.

I would tell you that if you're not the type of person who can be responsible enough to take a pill roughly the same time each day, that you should just rule it out. I don't see it as a hassle because it's just part of my routine now (have lunch, pop the pill) but some people easily forget. It's incredibly reliable bc if you take it at the right time every day. I've never even had a scare on it.

Being a smoker on the pill increases your risk of blood clots, and that is a pretty serious risk. The other concern is that studies claim taking the bc pill may increase your risk of breast cancer (they can't say for sure) yet low-dose pills are thought to decrease your risk of ovarian cancer.

I can absolutely understand your concern about taking artificial hormones, I really do. And obviously, my experience or any other woman's experience will not mirror your experience.

Discuss the options with your gyno.

February 4, 2009

Hey GC, just saw this.

Like you, I was very very hesitant to go on the pill. My body was healthy, my period came like clockwork, I never got cramps, and I didn't want to mess up my body chemistry with synthetic hormones.

But my ex had performance 'issues' with condoms and I ended up going on the pill for the first time at age 33 - semi-hesitantly and semi-irritated that the responsibility was all falling on me (hmm, he never offered to split the cost with me) (dick). But I digress.

On the pill, I had ZERO bad side effects. I have kind of an iron stomach so I think I'm not very sensitive to medication, but I had no noticeable physical changes except that my complexion improved.

My libido was unchanged, my weight was unchanged, I saw no differences in my creativity or productivity or how I think or feel... I was totally fine, and totally "me".

I went off the pill after our breakup and my period came back, like clockwork. As though I was never on the pill in the first place.

In fact, I've recently gone back on the pill in an effort to stop my stupid breakouts! (Impossible to get in to a dermatologist around here!)

Anyway, my experience doesn't mean it'll be the same for you, but I found that my own fears about side effects were totally unfounded. Good luck with your decision.

February 4, 2009

Thanks so much, everyone, for the replies. I guess there's nothing left to do but to just try it and see what happens. If it helps our situation, that will be so great. Those of you with GOOD pill experiences: which pill did you use?

fral945, I can't say I'm convinced that semen acts as an antidepressant...but sex certainly does; few women could dispute that!

doushenka and star gazer, thanks for sharing your positive experience. Like you, D., I definitely want to keep my monthly period. And I would LOVE it if I never had to deal with cramps.

Crestfallen_KH, I do worry about missing the pill one day. I'll have to set up some kind of routine so I won't forget. Thanks for sharing your experience--10 years is a long time and if it's worked for you in all this time, that's a strong selling point for me. Also your understanding of not wanting to pump myself full of artificial hormones, when I have so much trouble managing all my hormones as it is!

But my ex had performance 'issues' with condoms and I ended up going on the pill for the first time at age 33 - semi-hesitantly and semi-irritated that the responsibility was all falling on me (hmm, he never offered to split the cost with me) (dick). But I digress.

SSG, I totally laughed out loud at this. Yeah, he should most definitely have offered to split the cost, or even pay for it all. Definite dick. Which pill are you using?

February 4, 2009

Now THAT'S a nice side-effect

I also fear adding synthetic hormones to my body. I just feel like my body is in a great balance--I get my period like clockwork, I heal from minor injuries and illnesses quickly, generally I always feel good, and strong, and mentally with it. I fear tampering with that nice balance by introducing a bunch of crap to my system.

I was all of the above on the pill. I took a low-estrogen one, because I get migraines, and had no problems at all. regular, easy periods, no mood swings, a little PMS nothing too bad, no weight gain, good mental state etc etc.

I have stopped taking it since we got married for obvious reasons, and I feel fine now too.

It affects people so differently, the only way for you to know is for you to try it.

I became a raving b*&@# and got off of it quick. Had no problem with Depo. (do they still offer that?) So I think it's a matter of finding the right level of hormone for you, and the right way to administer it.

I had the opposite- I was a raving loony on depo, and its irreversible! I did have a few personal issues going on at the time though, so hard to blame depo entirely.

There's only three things that happened to me on the pill:

(1) My periods got much lighter and shorter;
(2) My cramps went from severe to almost non-existant;
(3) My skin clarity improved.

Not one negative thing.

Me neither. The great thing about it GC is that there are a few different kinds available so you can discuss with your GP which one would be best for you, AND if it doesn't agree with you you can either stop straightaway, or try a different one.

And the hormones aren't anything that your body can't cope with- the pill is BIG business and the pharmaceutical companies have spent kazillions of dollars perfecting it since it was first introduced.

Getting pregnant while on the pill is unlucky, but then no method is completely foolproof except abstinence.

February 5, 2009

GC, I take Junel Fe 1.5/30 which is apparently a substitute for microgestin Fe 1.5/30.

February 6, 2009

I have taken the pill at three different times in my life. The first time, I developed nightly headaches after taking it and had to switch. I wasn't on that alternate pill long enough to see what the side effects were.

The second time, I developed RECURRENT YEAST INFECTIONS. That was a nightmare. They didn't stop till I quit the pill.

The third time, I gained THIRTY POUNDS. I did not change my diet or exercise regimen at all during this time, so I'm pretty certain it was the pill. I did not stop gaining weight till I quit it, and it took a lot of effort to get back to my normal weight.

So, I am extremely hesitant to take them again in the future.

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I am considering going on the pill and have some questions for both women and men

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