chopsuey2468 Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Hi my gf of two years and i just entered college we are 15 minutes away now (different colleges but close). We have been struggling in college but doing really well during the breaks. In college she doesnt know what she wants, and wants to be single not to find another guy but "for reasons she cant explain." But she says shes madely in love with me. So after a month break up i ended up half dating her for awhile (i would go over there and we would kiss but nothing more and it wasn't offical we could date other people. She said she loved where we were but i obviously didnt cuz i like her a lot so i called it off. Now im not sure if that was a good idea so i called her again a week later and she wants me to go to her track meet what should i do just be freinds and try it and go or cut contact till she ready or try again? BTW the whole time in college i always had to go over there and hang out with her friends at her place she gave zero effort which is really confusing because she gives tons of effort back home. Plz hlp i'm tired of having to get over her we have half dated and stopped half dating 2 times now and if i go am i the only one giving effort again? her meet is on my campus so its really easy for me to go.
BackonTrack2 Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 If you want to ever again in life date this girl sometime in the future, you must NOT CONTACT HER AGAIN. She is using you as strength while she explores her options. You are now the backup. She was broken up with you (covered) therefore you cannot get upset when you find out she's fawking another. You have been down-graded as a boyfriend, you are now a friend with benefits (assuming your having sex). -- Yes you should cut ALL, ALL, ALL contact with her until she is ready to try again but she won't be ready as long as your still hanging out with her. In reality, what your doing is enabling her to leave you that much faster, make it hard for her, cut all contact and don't pick up when she calls. She has already checked out of this relationship and if your not having sex with her, it means she's fawking someone else. When was the last time you had sex with her? How many days ago and how often? Is it the same frequency as when you were back home? If she's not getting it from YOU, she's getting it from someone else.
Author chopsuey2468 Posted February 3, 2009 Author Posted February 3, 2009 thank you so much for the advice i just needed a little more confermation it is the right thing to do to go NC. I am doing that now and she isn't with neone she is pretty religous now so she isn't fawking anyone. And we stopped once we went to college. she changed when she went to college and i know she isnt seeing anyone. But thanks for the help i really needed to hear it.
D-Lish Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Whenever someone I am dating tells me they are having second thoughts or are not sure what they want, I cut it off immediately. I am of the mind that if they can't figure it out, I am not going to waste my time waiting. The worst thing you can do when someone says this is to be available to them.
Truly Lost Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 I don't think she is necessarily having sex with someone else. She might not be. She sounds wishy washy about how serious she wants your relationship to be. Its possible that she wants to see other people, or maybe there is someone else she has her eye on, but you don't really know the answer to this and finding out will only tear you apart. I think it would be better to find the strength to accept that your relationship has been downgraded, for whatever reason, and try to move on. Friendship won't work for you, trust me, it won't, because of the feelings you have for her. Do you really want to see her knowing you can't kiss her or act the way you used to around her. I know I couldn't deal with that. You are at arms reach and thats it for now from her perspective. This is extremely unfair to you. I know its really hard for you to swollow this situation, but she made a decision. If you stay away from her you will be able to heal quicker, but if you opt to stick it out and be her friend you will have many agonizing nights of being hurt to deal with. Its just better for you to stay away and let her come to you if she is ready to rekindle your relationship, but don't count on this to happen, it might not.
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