sneller440 Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 My apologies if ths is under the wrong forum but it does have some relevance to dating so here it goes. At my place of employment I have a met a girl who initially displayed many classic signs of interest. Simply from the body language and complementative approach when talking to me. The thing is at the time when i knew she was interested i didnt really care b/c I was into another girl. At any rate, the interest in the other girl fizzled to a regular friendship (which is cool by me anyway)...but I may think i became less interested in my initial girl b/c of this new one. These are both very pretty girls despite the fact they look NOTHING alike eachother (but that really is irrelevant despite the fact Im not choosing one over the other due to looks). The thing about the girl i currently dig is that i dont know if she is still as into me. I consider myself fairly knowledgeable about body language and signs of interest but this particular female displays so many of the interested and non interested traits. For instance. here's the not interested characteristics: -She'll talk to me about other guys she's interested in -Let me know when she thinks another dude is attractive -Punch me in the arm/shoulder if i become overtly flirty with her Now b4 u folks think "hey idiot, she's clearly not into u" here's the other list of things she consistently does to make me believe otherwise: -she laugs exceptionally hard when i make a marginally funny joke -i catch her looking at me when we're around eachother even if im not directly speaking with her -whenever there is a group of ppl around she'll always say my nickname and come over to me -she'll almost never break eye contact when speaking to me -has used two bit excuses as to why shes hanging out around me in excess so as not to seem its me who keeping her there -has told me loudly to stop flirting with other girls at work -is noticeably disturbed when i talk to another female when her and I were talking first -loves telling me anything, has gone out of her way to ensure we hang out in a neutral capacity longer (ie:lunch breaks, transportation home) -texts me out of the blue to tell me meaningless stuff (not too often though) At any rate I can tell u guys/gals get the picture. I just cant sem to tell if im a person she thinks of very highly and respects as a friend or someone whos shes romantically interested in. Some may say its cut & dry but i dont understand why she constantly brings up other guys..I guess it could be to gauge for jealousy..but who knows. I do dig her for sure, but im more curious as to what u guys think of her actions?? I usually dont real interested in a female untill i know shes into me..its just the way i work. But thanks for your patience in this long winded post...any questions or clarification please ask...thanks a lot folks!!
kdark Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Everything you listed in the uninterested category is wrong. Those are all signs that she is interested in you. She wants you. Make a move.
Author sneller440 Posted February 2, 2009 Author Posted February 2, 2009 thanks for the input. It just seems odd to me that she constantly brings up other guys of which she openly says she'd like to date or make "hers" Now with that said, Its not ever day that i figure a girl is diggin on me..and im usually right when the odd time comes around that i think a girl is into me. But its bizarre that she makes it so blatantly clear as to who she'd like to date when shes around me. I guess i should mention she is 4 yrs younger than I and only at the precious age of 19. So beats me. If she was a few yrs older i'm positive i would have just gone out with her already, but her age and the instability that comes with it dont sit well with me. I've dated girls around that age in the past and it was a nightmare b/c they seem to change thier mind from morning to night. But anyway...anyone hae more thoughts or wanna play devil's advocate?
dreamergrl Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 When she talks about other guys dating her, or wanting her, she's trying to make herself seem desirable. Whether it's working or not....
dreamergrl Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 here's the not interested characteristics: -She'll talk to me about other guys she's interested in (she wants to come across as other guys want her) -Let me know when she thinks another dude is attractive (this is a game, she wants you to compete for her) -Punch me in the arm/shoulder if i become overtly flirty with her (remember when we were all kids, and teased the person we liked?)
Author sneller440 Posted February 3, 2009 Author Posted February 3, 2009 thanks dreamergirl for the input. Whats wierd is that today, again, for instance she comes to our workplace (which is just part time by the way) to talk to me when its her off day. I made a point of "not noticing" her for a few minutes to see her reaction. She eventually just called my name so i'd come over ( i did this purposely to see if she came to talk to me or really to just check the sched's), at any rate i went over to talk to her and she asked how my weekend was bla bla bla. mentioned a few inside jokes and the usual then she made a point of telling me about how she was in touch w/ a friend of one of the guys she is into asking him about the other dudes status and what not. It seems as though she was trying to plant the seed with the other guys friend so word leaks back to him. But again, she never breaks eye contact with me, came by clearly to see me, asks how i've been, updates me about her...its just a real odd scenario. Maybe im just really good at making girls feel comfortable so thats why shes always comin around to see me....who knows I mean i dont freakin know what to think. I have shown some interest in her b4, but nothing to overt. So maybe she does just consider me a valued friend and confidant. Granted she is young and what not and is likely into a number of guys. As i said b4, i do dig her somewhat, but i never really get into a girl unless i know shes into me...so if i think shes not really diggin me anymore, then i'll just move forward. But at any rate, thank again for your time guys and gals and any input will definetly be appreciated
girlwithbigearrings Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 She likes you, maybe as a friend or maybe more, she's playing mind games though, do you really want that?? Ask yourself, but if you really like her, just go for it, you'll never know how she truly feels unless you tell her first how you feel about her.
fishtaco Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 here's the not interested characteristics: -She'll talk to me about other guys she's interested in (she wants to come across as other guys want her) -Let me know when she thinks another dude is attractive (this is a game, she wants you to compete for her) -Punch me in the arm/shoulder if i become overtly flirty with her (remember when we were all kids, and teased the person we liked?) Not necessarily. Some women are like that, some women those ARE signs that they're not interested. 1, 2 - hey, I'm interested in other guys, don't get any ideas. 3 - We're buddies, I'm acting like a man and punching you in the arm. That's the problem with signals, every woman has a different set. She's playing games, so play games back with her. If you don't want to play games with her, bite the bullet and go for it, ask her out to a romantic date, and you'll find out one way or another. This is also why you DON'T want to become friends first. Adds a whole layer of complexity.
Author sneller440 Posted February 3, 2009 Author Posted February 3, 2009 The thing is that I have been around (and dated) girls who play mind games. I can often see through them ( I actually called a girl out on it i know was just trying to get attention from me last week about her mind game and then she just stopped)..so i have been around mind games b4. This particular scenario just boggles my mind b/c i can't figure it out, and you're right "girlwithbigearings" i dont want a mind games girl, as a matter of fact I cant stand them...which is why I'm actually asking opinions about this b/c i dont think shes playing mind games.Actually. Maybe she just crushes on a number of guys at once. Please understand folks I in no way am overthinking this or concerning over it too much. I really enjoy ppl and trying to figure them out, so I thought it would be an interesting scenario for the females out there to help me break down. Its just easier for me to get involved with a girl who i know is already into me (b/c there is a better chance of having a more meaningful relationship from it in the long run). I don't date and have never dated many females, only those I see as valuable chances for something good occuring for the both of us. I have never dated a stranger, only girls who i've known for a while (ie: 6 months to 2 years is my record) Maybe thats my answer in the fact that its not clear to me... dont worry about her...move forward to other ladies and actually be her good friend and leave it at that. It could be I am simply reading too much into her exceptionally friendly gestures b/c i have a little thing for her. Who knows?? As i say any Q's or anything i'd be happy to answer.
bunk2406 Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 I would say she wants you...I mean even if she wanted to be just friends...that seems to be a very flirtatious attitude to have. But I kind of see it as 1. shes trying to make you jealous or 2. is it possible it's one of your friends she is talking to? Maybe changing the names around a bit. She obviously wants your attention and input on things and cares what you think.
Author sneller440 Posted February 3, 2009 Author Posted February 3, 2009 another thing too I just considered is i could stand to bump up showing a little more interest in her. Probably would help my situation out a whole heck of a lot more if I made her think I actually was into her by sending her some signs myself to reciprocate all those that she is sending me. Chances are in reality im actually confusing the heck outta her.
Author sneller440 Posted February 3, 2009 Author Posted February 3, 2009 Hey Bunk, sorry about my jumbled words. The other guy who she is interested in is not a close friend to me by any stretch, but I do know him and he is an aquaintance for sure. But it was one of his friends (other dude's) who she was asking about regarding the other dudes status. I agree in that its clear she wants my attention, for whatever reason, and clearly listens attentively to almost all things I say. Maybe as I said in last post she really just thinks im uninterested and is staying close to me but trying to explore other avenues. I really havent given her much to think i'm into her @ all (b/c for so long I really wasnt). Could be if I upped my external levels of interest in her she'd likely take note and reciprocate...question being do I want to do that. Hard to say. I mean clearly im into her enough but getting involved is so much work with so much risk involved. I do know she likes me, more than a lot guys. Thats clear to see, but alot of ppl see me in this light b/c im extremely friendly and easy to talk with. Its really a matter of determining if her liking me a lot transcends the liking into the realm of "being into me a lot"
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