Is she fu***** with me?

[MichaelAsh]

I recently met a nice girl (about a month ago) in fact, we work together...

 

I had secretly liked her, but did not feel it was appropriate to approach her cause of out work relationship. However, one day, she was speaking with me, telling me how 2 other co-workers had asked her out... Later in the convo she gave me her number and told me " I would much rather hang out with you then either of them."

 

Long story short, almost 1 week later, we went on a date. She offered Cocktails at restauraunt. I was not sure if it was an official date, however, after spending 20 min with her, i could definatly tell it was.

 

After dinner, i invited her back to my place, and she gladly accepted. We ended up watching half a movie, and ending the night by sharing a lame kiss (awkward but cute).

 

Through out the following week, I spent one day at work with her, in which she acted cute and almost gf like around me. And we also had multiple flirtatious text message relays. In fact, she invited me to have dinner with her family on a sunday night (what? 2nd Date? eek!)

 

It is towards the end of this week that everything starting going wrong..

 

I got a text from her, cancelling sunday night and adding "i guess I'll see you at work"

I hadn't gotten the text till 6 hrs after she sent it, so i called her immediatly to be polite. No answer. I texted back trying to reschedual, or offering a diff activity we could do... she gave no definate answer and seemed short in her responses, and even told me she would get back to me about a certain night and never even called!

 

From this point on (tonight would have been the night i went to her rents), she has been short in her responses and shown no interest in seeing me again.

 

Normally, I wouldnt make a big deal, and write on a forum like this, however, I just have NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED! Nothing had changed on my end from when she invited me to dinner with her rents, I hadnt seen her, voice talked with her, nor sent any wierd or creepy text messages. I always sent an even 1 for 1 message.

 

One day she is inviting me to have dinner with her rents, next day, she is sending mixed signals! This really confuses me!

 

Also, yes, I do like her, and I am gratful for any advice anyone may give me!

So my question: Is she f****** with me?!

Thanks

[likestolaugh]

annoying, isn't it. I truly HATE it when people do this... I think probably the best thing for you to do is cut the contact till you see her at work. Talking to someone in person almost forces them to explain a bit more...

[dreamergrl]

I hate to offer this answer. Perhaps she is seeing one (or both) of the other two co-workers that asked her out.

[MichaelAsh]

haha! I thought about that too! However, I just don't see that...

 

A little about her:

She comes off as a nice, family oriented girl.

She had only had 2 serious relationships, she is 20 i think. I'm 22.

She mostly plays it coy, and blushed frequently.

Also, by the kiss we had, I can tell that she if modest in how she acts around guys...

 

Thanks for the suggestion! lol...

[Geishawhelk]

Yup.

I would almost bet a pound to a pinch of snuff that some other guy has muscled in on the scene and got her attention.....

[dreamergrl]

Well like the previous poster said, by talking to her in person, you'll get a better idea of what happened (hopefully!)

[Surfer Dude]

She seems to be setting the pace of your relationship, while it's you who should be doing it. Get her to meet you in person and work from there. If she flakes and gives you some BS excuse, next her, learn from your mistakes and move on.

[MadDog]

Intentionally or not, she's ****ing with you. The bottom line is, if a girl is acting unpredictably like she is, it's better to leave her alone. You can still have fun with her in the future but just don't take her seriously.

 

If you ask me, she sounds like a bit of an attention whore. That's why she mentioned the other 2 guys in the context of getting you to hang out with her.

 

MD

[zenith]

yeah, she's ****ing with you. You should try to meet her in person

 

If the symptoms persist, discontinue

[Throne Of Lies]

It sounds like you got turfed by another dude. Take it back from him or wait until he uses her for his pleasure and she has time for you. Play it cool, make it obvious that you are so above her crap that it doesn't even bother you. Oh, she didn't call you back? You didn't even realize because your life is so amazing.

[MichaelAsh]

Thanks for all the advice.

 

However, i suppose i do have a few more questions.

 

Does anyone think it's possible that it may be that time of month for her, and she could be acting odd because of it? (I know it can be really tough on girls at times)

 

Also, I really don't want to have to talk to her in person about it... The last thing I would want to do is be confrontational with her. I would sooner erase her number and messages from my phone, and call the next in line!

[dreamergrl]

Thanks for all the advice.

 

However, i suppose i do have a few more questions.

 

Does anyone think it's possible that it may be that time of month for her, and she could be acting odd because of it? (I know it can be really tough on girls at times)[.quote]

 

No, and should that actually be the reason, she must get some killer cramps. This would not be a reason why I just cut off contact with a guy, or bail on him.

 

Also, I really don't want to have to talk to her in person about it... The last thing I would want to do is be confrontational with her. I would sooner erase her number and messages from my phone, and call the next in line!

 

If you don't want to talk about it (although if that's the case, you may just have to call "next), you could just see how she acts with you in person. Does she act distant, flirty, as if nothing happened, less flirty, ect ect. That could tell you a lot in itself.

[torranceshipman]

Dude dont try to overanalyse this...she lost interest, probably because there was another guy on the scene. Let it go and don't contact her, move on. She didnt do anything too bad other than giving you the silent goodbye (you'd only had 1 date, after all!).

 

If she ever gets in touch and asks for date no 2 then fine, see how you feel then but DON'T go down the 'oh, she's a nice girl, she has a good family, is demure around guys, maybe its her time of the month, blah blah...'. Dont make up excuses or reasons to understand her behavior - I think she just met someone else or something.

 

I like the other posters idea of you just acting cool and nonplussed...

[Rebellious]

Lots of girls play that game, they show their interest at first then they back off because they don't want to appear "easy". So you lose interest in her because you think she's not interested in you, then you get bored and blow her off. I'd say call her once more, and if it doesn't sound promising, forget about her.

[carhill]

She has a boyfriend

[Surfer Dude]

She has a boyfriend

 

Or any of the following:

 

• she's not attracted enough
  
• she was playing him and using him for validation
  
• she can't see a good deal and that's bad taste on her part
  
• she might be afraid of being open and connected to someone
  
• could be that she's socially inept
  
• a combination of the reasons above
  
• or any other reason you could possibly imagine...........
  

This should teach men to know better than to try to get into women's minds. There's absolutely nothing that you could achieve by trying to figure out chick logic and their brains. OP, just give it up. Put her on the back burner and go for other women in the meantime. One chick flakes, who cares, there are others.

 

As for the whole "I'm seeing two other men", it was likely a sh*t test on her part to gauge his response, women do it all the time. The answer to this is be cocky&funny and blow it off in a humorous way.

 

Example:

HER: I'm seeing two other guys!

YOU: Haha, you're such a playgirl aren't you, little girl? I bet I have more boyfriends than you, let's compare notes! haha

[calazhage]

I agree with surfer.. You will NEVER figure out what is going on in her mind.

 

I also would not assume there is someone else. It could be anything.

[tincanman99]

Cease contact with her.

 

I went through the exact same thing with a girl a while back. We dated, she was into me, made out a bunch of times, saw her for about a month and a half and than she totally disappeared on me with not so much as a "lets just be friends" or "drop dead, you are disgusting" .

 

Dont email, txt nor call her anymore. The fact she is barely responding tells you she is not into you. I did it far less than you and than I cut her off.

 

Now ironically she wants to talk with me. I figure she is bored or one of her other guys dropped her.

 

For your own self esteem, back off.

[carhill]

OK, assume she has a boyfriend

 

Seriously, OP, it's just an ego feed. She's playing with you. When I was younger I took women seriously about this stuff. Now I just laugh and take the cheap feel.

[Surfer Dude]

 

Now ironically she wants to talk with me. I figure she is bored or one of her other guys dropped her.

 

Seems like it. Try to pin her down for a meet and try to get to 3rd base the same night. If you do her properly, she won't leave. If she flakes and wants to talk and "let's just be friends", AVOID WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE.

 

To the OP, drop this chick. You could perhaps try to turn the tables on her by sending something like "Me and my friends are going clubbing and picking up girls tomorrow night, I'm gonna stop by your place later, ok?". This might engage her interest, but it might not work at all. It's a risk, if you're willing to take one. It's probably best to next her for some other girl who won't give you such trouble.

[BCCA]

Oh man, havent I been through SO many of these situations...

 

Basically, she wanted attention, and for whatever reason (as was mentioned, youll never ever understand, so dont even try) she lost interest once she got the attention. I would tend to agree with Carhill, either she has a bf or she wants someone else, but needed validation that she was enough of a catch to get your attention. Not to sound sexist, because Im really not, but I find that women do this a lot. Give you their number and chat you up about hanging out, etc, and then go ghost on you. Trying to understand it is pointless, because Ive asked some girl friends of mine, and they all answer 'I dont really know why I did it', which may or may not be true, but whatever. Ive even known girls who have bf's to get lost in the moment, and give their # out when they have no intention of ever wanting to see the person again. Games for sure.

 

Drop her like a bad habbit. Keep things civil at the workplace, and just go on about your business. People that constantly hedge their bets and essentially compare people to one another to figure out whats good for them are dangerous.

[girlwithbigearrings]

She just simply changed her mind.

Maybe met someone else she likes better.

With

[girlwithbigearrings]

Not to sound sexist, because Im really not, but I find that women do this a lot. Give you their number and chat you up about hanging out, etc, and then go ghost on you. Trying to understand it is pointless, because Ive asked some girl friends of mine, and they all answer 'I dont really know why I did it', which may or may not be true, but whatever. Ive even known girls who have bf's to get lost in the moment, and give their # out when they have no intention of ever wanting to see the person again. Games for sure.

 

 

Guys also do this 'ghosting' you speak of. And those girls who say 'I don't really know why i did it' are just trying to lie to themselves to not feel bad for ditching a dude. They know why they did, unless they are a bunch of dumbasses.

 

And as for this girl problem, she just simply changed her mind, or just met someone else she likes better. Or playing with your head, trying to see if you'll go after her being aloof.