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Posted

Well today I went back to the apartment we shared our life together. She moved out around January 1st and I moved out shortly after. I moved in with a friend because I could not afford the place on my own and I'm trying to regain my feet financially. The plan was for her to get a job and then we would move forward together but shortly after she found a job, she found a new man and left me. I don't even get it, hes separated but still married, has two kids and is over 10 years older then her.

Anyway, I went back to clear out the place this weekend and then today I cleaned it. God it was difficult. She lives about a mile away from this place and I am now about 20 minutes away where I live now. Its hard to put myself that close.

I broke down while I was cleaning a few times. It just hurts so bad and I came across a lot of memories and I still can not believe she left me. Why I wonder, I thought I offered her so much. I'm a good guy and I have a clean slate, Im 33, shes 30, I have no kids, im not married....I treated her good.

To me it feels like she chose unstable and probably not going to amount to anything over what was a future family. When we first were starting to date she was all about a family and kids. Later on she started telling me that living together felt to much like marriage and she wasn't even sure she would make a good mother, could she handle kids?

I don't know what I'm looking for here, I guess I just needed to vent on this day. I remember last superbowl I was with her and we picked up her mom from the airport. Me and her mom ended up watching the superbowl while she went up stairs and watched a movie because she don't like sports. No that I think about it that's messed up. Her mom just arrived for a 2 week visit and she wouldn't even sit and watch the superbowl with us, make conversation etc.

I don't know why I'm so sad about her. Sometimes I think I spoke about her to coworkers and friends, family in such a better light then she deserved. Hmm.....oh well, here's to today.

Posted

Get back in the game. Even if you don't feel like it. You are a hot commodity A man who is not a commitmentphobe. The ladies will be knocking down your door. E harmony, match. The world is your oyster. Get on face book or my space. 2 months from now you won't remember her name.

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