RealizeImWorthIt Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 I've been seeing a guy for almost three months now and everything started off lovely and sweet but its beginning to stagnate. Both of us have our guard up now...mine is up because I tend to do that once I start to have strong feelings. His may be up just bc he's a man and doesn't need to discuss his feelings at length. I'm having an extremely difficult time expressing my needs with him and I'm not sure whether to blame it on our relationship dynamic or if its just me. For starters we met online and for the first month all we did was exchange multiple lengthy emails per day and chat on the phone occasionaly. Our first date was very special, the sparks flew and everything. Since then our schedules have not allowed us to see each other more than once or twice a week. His emails to me have stopped and he always seems distracted now when we talk on the phone. Because of this, I feel even less inclined to tell him how I'm really feeling. It seems like he is backing off which doesnt exactly give me the warm fuzzies inside ya know? But I am backing off now too. I'm trying to play along with his dance so I don't get hurt and certainly so I don't come off as needy. The closest I got to mentioning our "issue" was one time after we had split a bottle of wine right before sleep. I said "I have a bad tendency to push people away so I don't get hurt. I know its not the most productive but..." He said "Sounds familiar." When I asked why he said, "Cuz I do the same thing." Unfortunately, that was the end of that conversation. So here we are. Neither of us is giving 100%, heck we're barely giving 50% now. He backed off so I backed off. We still make out (and it's still hot) but I'm beginning to feel more of a friend vibe from him than anything...I really crave the deep stuff when Im in a relationship. I need the "I love you's" and "You're beautiful's" and "I miss you's" in order to feel emotionally secure. But I'm not getting that from him and this is so not normal compared to my previous boyfriends. So what do you think? Is it me? Is it us? Is it him? It may not even be fair to him because I haven't expressed ANY of this to him yet. I don't like confrontations at all.
Author RealizeImWorthIt Posted February 1, 2009 Author Posted February 1, 2009 Hmm seems people only want to post about some chicks problem with her bf and the superbowl...interesting.
IrishCarBomb Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Hmm seems people only want to post about some chicks problem with her bf and the superbowl...interesting. Whoa... looks like even you want to post about that chick's superbowl problem. Bizarre coincidence. Very interesting indeed.
Author RealizeImWorthIt Posted February 1, 2009 Author Posted February 1, 2009 Why does it have 200+ posts? I think I'm having poster's envy!:laugh:
Illiandra Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 well to help you out a lil i was in the same situation with a guy for about 6 months we both had our guards up even tho the dates were great and spending time together was amazing,,,, long story short it didnt work out,,, i got tired of waiting around for the talk and the emotions and he told me he wasnt waiting around to get screwed over ... being in that situation sucks and plays with your emotions! when your with the right person things should just flow automatically without any difficulty at all!!! on the bright side of things,, i met a guy from online we had 4 dates, he took his profile down after he met me ( he told me and then i checked lol ) and things with him are perfect he expresses exactly what he wants and needs, basically if its meant to be it just happens i guess. When i compare this guy to the previous guy its night and day. Im sure you heard of the saying theres plenty of fish in the ocean out there... and now that i went out and started dating someone who was on my level emotionally and physically i realized exactly what i was doing wrong in the previous 6 month relationship, dont play games, open up, let your guard down, and it should just flow with ease hopefully!!! keep us posted!
fishtaco Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 That's why you want to date a bunch of different guys at the same time. It's casual dating for a reason... it's casual.
Lucky555 Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 That's why you want to date a bunch of different guys at the same time. It's casual dating for a reason... it's casual. Totally agree with this post. Date a bunch of people at the same time till you find one that is compatible with you. I wish i was dating more than one guy right now. Its really nice because you get to actually know them BEFORE you start getting involved.
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