Pacsunday Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Ok so im new here and i really need some help with this one. So im young im 15 and im pretty sure im in love. I cant stop thinking about her ever, her name appears everywhere, im always dreaming about her, and nothing is too important for her. so getting to the point im almost positive ive been in love with the same girl for about a year and a half now and i dont know what to do now. I cant stop thinking about her and i have so much to pour out about her. well one thing abig factor is she is two years younger than me. yeah 2. so its a little akward for me and her. i met her 2 years ago in this class where basically everyone one from all the middle schol is put and when i first met her i was drawn to her immediatly. well nothing really happened that year. like come on she was in 6th grade. so the next we started talking and her maturity level was as the same as mine so it wasnt like i was talking to an immature seventh grader and she was awesome. we had our first kiss down on a field by my school and yeah she was a great kisser. so things just continued on that way. she would call me occasionly during the week and we would talk for a bit and thats it. so ill skip quite a bit into the future. well i became fascinated with her always wanted to talk to her and somehow things always pushed me towards her. i knew her schedule and out of luck my locker was placed in her hallway so i could always see her. like i said things just went along nothing happened and she started to like someone in her own grade one of my friends. well because this whole i like you thing was a secret between both of us and a few friends i couldnt be angry if she liked someone else. its much easier to like someone who you see more often. so skipping forward more i began to fall for her and the one she had liked was transfering schools that summer. he was a great friend and i still miss the kid but you know like there was still a little happyness in his absence. so this is june of last 2008 and i had been slacking in school basically because my only reason for going to school was now to see her and thats it. Well i go to a pretty prestigious school and i ****ed up bad so one day in june i was told i wasnt allowed to come back. My heart immediatly fell. Yes i would miss the school and friends but not seeing her was like death. i immediatly got on the computer and told her how i felt about her everything i confessed my love to her like no one else. Told her everything i could think was on my mind because i wouldnt be seeing her again. well i sent the message and told her to call me when she got it. about 2 days passed and i get the call. A faint hey. i said hey and we talked for hours and hours about everything i forgot i wouldnt be attending her school her school the next year. well i hung up the phone around 4am and said wtf waited about 2 minutes called her back and said Chelsea I Love You and hung up. Now i slept like a baby and had a dream about me and her just walking through my school hallways holding hands and just laughing with eachother. I woke up on cloud 9. Happy as all hell. well throughout the summer i had summer school and spent my nights on the phone with her. she began to accept my love. she began to say i love you too and everytime she did it was like she was my highh. Well out of some crazzzzyyy ****ing luckk my school called and arranged a meeting and long story short if i passed all my summer school classes with a 75 or higher i could go back. So **** yea i was studying for her. she was ecstatic when i told her. So school starts still casual i love yous but it was fading quick on her side i still loved her. she soon just fell out of it and i became very emotional. i started cutting and have scars along my left arm. today with a close look you can see her name carved in my arm. i wear long sleeves. i still love her i buy her everything and money means nothing when it comes to her. whatever she wants is hers and ive probably spent around $400.00 on her this year which is quite alot considering im 15. well she really just dosent care anymore she dosent call. We pass eachother in the hallway sometimes wothout words sometimes with. but she knows im always looking. Shes in my lunch now and sometimes well both just stare at each other which is another reason why i cant give up. i know there is something there. she still says hi! we still hug and people still mention our names together sometimes. im jealous i see her with other guys and just walk along i stopped cutting but months ago everyday when i saw her with another guy more blood shed. i wanted her and still do. i feel so imperfect for her but i need her. one thing is i ave this passion for music that she shares which draws me to her we love the same exact music and do the same things for fun and we are just too imilar. This girl is perfect i would take bullets for her. she is all i think of and not an hour goes by when i have spent time thinking about her. but now she is just not as into me as before. i still buy her stuff she says thanks and keeps it moving thats it. shell see me and say nothing. but she still aknowledges me sometimes alot more than others. so i know there is something unsaid there. im 4th on her facebook top after her bestfriends. im fourth on her top which she updates occasionally but i have always been up there. What im asking is should i just quit and do you think i am in love because i have never felt like this and love was the only way i could think to describe it. i do everything for her and get no recognition she deff dosent feel the same way i do should i just give up. other girls say i would make a perfect bf but i only want her i would marry this girl. but if shes 2 years younger than me ill have to leave the school sooner or later and let her go. should i keep it up and stay in it to win it. hope things look better monday. Please help me
Island Girl Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 You should work on moving on. She has. You are so young - and I know you are going to hate this but what you are experiencing is puppy love. It is really intense and you are crushing. But it isn't what you'll feel when you are mature and fall in love with someone. At your age it is a pure emotion. And I know it is like it is your breath that keeps you alive, etc. You'll feel these feelings again don't worry. But for now just concentrate on your school work. Get more involved with your hobbies and that'll help distract you. It'll get better I promise.
Author Pacsunday Posted February 1, 2009 Author Posted February 1, 2009 The thing is it's been almost 2 years now and I like always thinking about her she gives me something to do and I know she still feels something I just can't let her go she's the only girl I think about
Island Girl Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 It will continue to be so as long as you continue to focus only on her. She is not feeling the same way now. So you MUST stop. It is holding you back from life in general not to mention other girls that are out there. It doesn't seem like it now - it seems like she is the one and only but I am telling you that you have a loooooong life ahead and you are wasting your learning years pining away for her. Please stop and move on. You simply must find other things to occupy yourself and your mind. Only then will you start feeling better.
Author Pacsunday Posted February 1, 2009 Author Posted February 1, 2009 How I've tried but all my attempts lead me to think more about her I just don't want to give up on her and when I try she realizes and asks me what's wrong it's like she notices when I don't notice her. If she approaches me I can't help but give in.
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