JooLee Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 its been 7 months since the break up and ive dated 3 guys since and the same thing keeps happening. initially i'll be interested in the guy then i start having comparisons and start missing my ex so much and just another reminder that im not ready for a relationship. being not ready is alright i can deal with that but i cant deal the nostalgic and the feelings i am starting to feel again for my ex. We have not been in contact since the break up. and today i feel it even worse as i was catching up wit my fren and he updates me about how he finally got with his ex again after two years. and im thinking to myself, why doesnt that happen to me? and maybe if i try harder n keep in contact with him it will some how happen again, just like what my friend did with his ex. (they had a bad break up too) and right now im trying my best to resist the urge to contact my ex and to rekindle the friendship, so please i really really need words of advice or encouragement! i so badly want to stop feeling for him!
Geishawhelk Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 being not ready is alright i can deal with that but i cant deal the nostalgic and the feelings i am starting to feel again for my ex. You can't have one without the other. You get these feelings, because you're not over it. and today i feel it even worse as i was catching up wit my fren and he updates me about how he finally got with his ex again after two years. and im thinking to myself, why doesnt that happen to me? and maybe if i try harder n keep in contact with him it will some how happen again, just like what my friend did with his ex. (they had a bad break up too) Maybe yes, maybe no. But don't bank on it. It's what's holding you back. Wishful thinking. You're being faithful to his memory. Don't. It's not worth it. I'd guess he isn't being faithful to yours..... ...and right now im trying my best to resist the urge to contact my ex and to rekindle the friendship, so please i really really need words of advice or encouragement! i so badly want to stop feeling for him! You know what would happen if you did. He'd blow you off, and you'd be back to square one. I hate to be the bearer of depressing news, but you are never going to get over this. You're always going to feel this way. You're never going to move on, heal, or date again. Until you decide enough is enough. The one to release what you're going through, will have to be you. Nobody else can do it for you. You have to be willing to close the book. Until you do, you'll always be stuck on the same page. And a different page to everyone else.
Island Girl Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Maybe yes, maybe no. But don't bank on it. It's what's holding you back. Wishful thinking. You're being faithful to his memory. Don't. It's not worth it. I'd guess he isn't being faithful to yours..... Ah Geishawhelk. You said it so clearly and so well. I hate to be the bearer of depressing news, but you are never going to get over this. You're always going to feel this way. You're never going to move on, heal, or date again. Until you decide enough is enough. The one to release what you're going through, will have to be you. Nobody else can do it for you. You have to be willing to close the book. Until you do, you'll always be stuck on the same page. And a different page to everyone else. Again Geisha - your eloquence is amazing. This is exactly it. And when you have finally moved on. Your heart will be able to feel again without the fear of hurt or feeling like you are betraying your past relationship. Remember it is just that - THE PAST.
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