burningashes Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Hey all, This is more or less a venting. I decided to clean up my room and came across some framed pictures of my ltr ex (read my previous post for the history). I've been dating my new bf exclusively for about a month now and I couldn't be more happier. Anyway, I thought I would just put them away, out of sight, out of mind. I looked at them and felt some pangs of sadness and regret before I finally put them away. I wanted the pictures gone because I wanted to be able to have my bf over without any pictures of my ex lying around, hence the reason why I cleaned up before finally inviting him over. I was wondering if this was normal, or if this seriously was a sign that I haven't moved on? I have a fear that I think I've moved on, but really somehow I haven't, and it may ruin what I've got going on with my new bf. My bf has been so awesome, I love hanging out with him and all that, he actually treats me as a girlfriend unlike how my so called ex did. Tomorrow he's going to meet some of my friends and my mom for my birthday for some beer and eats, I'm excited but nervous, I'm looking forward to it. He tells me things like, how he doesn't want me to leave at all when I have to go to school or work and so on. I tell him that I miss him (I do!) after a few days (he works in law enforcement so he works long hours on consecutive days). We talk about how we wish we could be together when we're away from one another. It's been exciting and I hope it continues I just don't get how I could feel these emotions putting these pictures away. I guess I'm asking if I should be concerned, because I'm dating my new boyfriend who I think is just awesome and I'm always looking forward to seeing him again even if it's just to hang out with him for a couple of hours. The ex and I share mutual friends and I know that sooner or later, I'm going to run into him. Not that it's going to be an issue if I do, just fyi that he's still in my life in that way where friends mention him and so on. I haven't had any contact with him since we broke up. What do y'all think?
boldjack Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 It's perfectly normal to have some regrets over an old love. I think it's like the feelings you have for oldclassmates or friends, that you have moved beyond. It's like remembering running with your pet dog or snuggling with your cat after they have died. You don't just miss them, you miss the feeling. The good news is that you seem to have a great relationship with your new bf and now you can make new memories.
Justmike101 Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Hey all, This is more or less a venting. I decided to clean up my room and came across some framed pictures of my ltr ex (read my previous post for the history). I've been dating my new bf exclusively for about a month now and I couldn't be more happier. Anyway, I thought I would just put them away, out of sight, out of mind. I looked at them and felt some pangs of sadness and regret before I finally put them away. I wanted the pictures gone because I wanted to be able to have my bf over without any pictures of my ex lying around, hence the reason why I cleaned up before finally inviting him over. I was wondering if this was normal, or if this seriously was a sign that I haven't moved on? I have a fear that I think I've moved on, but really somehow I haven't, and it may ruin what I've got going on with my new bf. My bf has been so awesome, I love hanging out with him and all that, he actually treats me as a girlfriend unlike how my so called ex did. Tomorrow he's going to meet some of my friends and my mom for my birthday for some beer and eats, I'm excited but nervous, I'm looking forward to it. He tells me things like, how he doesn't want me to leave at all when I have to go to school or work and so on. I tell him that I miss him (I do!) after a few days (he works in law enforcement so he works long hours on consecutive days). We talk about how we wish we could be together when we're away from one another. It's been exciting and I hope it continues I just don't get how I could feel these emotions putting these pictures away. I guess I'm asking if I should be concerned, because I'm dating my new boyfriend who I think is just awesome and I'm always looking forward to seeing him again even if it's just to hang out with him for a couple of hours. The ex and I share mutual friends and I know that sooner or later, I'm going to run into him. Not that it's going to be an issue if I do, just fyi that he's still in my life in that way where friends mention him and so on. I haven't had any contact with him since we broke up. What do y'all think? Put it away in case you want to look at them later? for what? memories? good memories? Don't kid yourself. Throw them away. You have no business hanging onto hold letters and pictures. Don't be reminded of the past hurt. Burn it from your memories and move into the future.
Author burningashes Posted February 1, 2009 Author Posted February 1, 2009 Boldjack, that makes sense, thanks It was as what you described, just missing the feeling but not being with the ex. I guess I got worried that I might haven't moved on as much as I initially thought I had :/ Mike- to each their own. Some people keep these mementos, some people throw them away or burn them. It's my business to do what I want with these things and I chose to put them away in a box somewhere. I'm not kidding myself, I wanted them out of sight and mind so that I wouldn't be reminded of the ex. It was just the initial process of putting them away that made me feel those emotions. I might look at them later down the road or not, either way, those mementos represent a huge chunk of my life that I'm not willing to throw away just because I shared that with the ex.
HappyAgain Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 I threw all my pictures, mementos, etc out. Why do I need to keep them around? I would hope that years from now I'll be happy and in love with someone else so why would I go looking back at my first marriage? I threw away our wedding pictures after we separated the first time and never lived to regret it. Now that it's a divorce I'm sure that i will never regret getting rid of the remaining stuff.
boldjack Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 I have some old photos of old friends, girlfriends and my ex-wife. I don't take them out to look at them very often, but they were part of my life, and sometimes it's good to reminiece.
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