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I really do underestimate myself


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Posted

I heard through the grapevine a few days ago that a large network of girls believe me to be a womanizer who's untouchable. I asked what untouchable meant. My source told me, and I'm paraphrasing, that I'm so much more elusive and hard to seduce or hit on than other guys...that I frustrated a good number of girls over the years. They believe that the only way I'll make a move on them is if I want it...aka I call the shots.

 

This is really empowering, but it's mostly hogwash. I have shown myself to be a pretty forward kind of guy from a few hookups, but most of the reason I'm so "elusive" is because I've probably been oblivious to girls hitting on me.

 

My behavior is really weird and hard to predict. I look back to the times I got laid - I'm not sure what happened, I just went for what I wanted and BAM! Then other times I think and think and make some elaborate plan and end up with nothing.

 

Whatever. I guess I'll have to start living up to my name. ;)

Posted

yeah I'd like to see that. Seriously you're way to preocupied about what others think... you need to have this same confidence whether women are saying good sht or bad sht about you. Go ahead just start saying the things you want and not worying about everything

Posted
I heard through the grapevine a few days ago that a large network of girls believe me to be a womanizer who's untouchable. ......

Whatever. I guess I'll have to start living up to my name. ;)

 

Don't. The only kind of woman you'll get is a player, like you, and the good decent ones will look upon your reputation as a bad one and not come near you with a barge-pole.

 

"Womaniser" and "unotuchable" seem oxymoronic in the same sentence. If you were a womaniser, they'd be crawling all over you. 'Untouchable' means

they feel it's best to steer clear.

Posted

Your threads are a hoot. Not in a good way either.

 

My source told me, and I'm paraphrasing, that I'm so much more elusive and hard to seduce or hit on than other guys...that I frustrated a good number of girls over the years.

 

Are you 19 or 30? Seriously, over the years? You've been breaking hearts since 16...puhleez. You don't want to be viewed as a womanizer as that's what you'll be labeled as. Be a guy who women like, respect and don't look down upon.

 

My behavior is really weird and hard to predict. I look back to the times I got laid - I'm not sure what happened, I just went for what I wanted and BAM! Then other times I think and think and make some elaborate plan and end up with nothing.

 

You're pretty predictable. You're BACK here. If you were unpredictable, you'd have a girlfriend as you'd be seen as interesting instead of...well...

 

Whatever. I guess I'll have to start living up to my name.

Isn't Kashmir a province in Pakistan?

 

Like Green said, stop worrying about what people think of you. Its freeing. Plus, since you're 19, you're not going to be really that active. Wait until you hit 21, you'll be out and about before anyone can say "slap a rubber on".

  • Author
Posted

Heh, I meant for this thread to be somewhat of a joke.

 

Of course I'm not a bloody womanizer! Geez. I'm a...well I don't know what I am, but I'm no womanizer. Girls just exaggerate and say stuff to each other that doesn't have much merit.

 

It's just a nice little boost of confidence, whether it means anything or not. As you remember not too long ago I was wondering about creepiness. It helps to know that I'm not coming off as creepy.

 

And about caring what others think, I do a bit, but doesn't everyone to some extent? Especially at my age? I'm not sitting here hoping and hoping others will accept me. There's a reason I don't have many friends, because I don't care to have many and like to be alone a lot. Do you think I'm thinking about others when I choose to be alone?

 

I also care a bit because I know I send out negative vibes through my facial expressions and body language. Everyone does this a bit, but I do it tenfold because of my mental conditions. I give people messages that aren't accurate. I think it would help me if I knew what they were thinking when interacting with me - thus I could look at my body language and speech and modify it so I don't give off such negative vibes.

Posted

My advice is only that you shouldn't bring others opinions into how you estimate yourself. Since you were worying if people thought of you as a loner creep or something I guess it was a relief to hear some one say they thought you were with lots of women or untouchable or something. Yes it is funny to hear something like that. But the way you wrote this thread you seem to put alot into it. I'm not trying to put you down just give you advice and the advice is do the things you want to do and don't worry about what other people are going to think unless it could really effect your life

Posted

You know Kashmir, we have certain things in common. I think the main issue we share is that people are really confused about what to think about us and we don't get approached often as a result.

 

Though guys rarely pursue me, I also have people saying that I'm elusive, "refuse to initiate contact" and somewhat of a heartbreaker. It's especially frustrating as a girl, because if I pursue, I'm being too brash and if I don't I get called hard to get.

 

I just can't win. But what can you do but laugh at it and then ignore it? :p

Posted
You know Kashmir, we have certain things in common. I think the main issue we share is that people are really confused about what to think about us and we don't get approached often as a result.

 

Though guys rarely pursue me, I also have people saying that I'm elusive, "refuse to initiate contact" and somewhat of a heartbreaker. It's especially frustrating as a girl, because if I pursue, I'm being too brash and if I don't I get called hard to get.

 

I just can't win. But what can you do but laugh at it and then ignore it? :p

 

You know, this is off topic from Kashmir's thread here, but what do you think makes you a heartbreaker in people's eyes? I think of a heartbreaker as being a good looking girl with lots of options who repeatedly jumps from guy to guy, not someone like you seem to describe yourself as.

 

Edit: I realize that didn't come out right. I'm not saying you're not good looking or have lots of options, moreso that you describe yourself as being more reserved than I think of a heartbreaker as.

Posted

I look back to the times I got laid - I'm not sure what happened, I just went for what I wanted and BAM! Then other times I think and think and make some elaborate plan and end up with nothing.

 

You've just answered your own question. No amount of plotting and scheming is going to get you that date. Simplicity and being yourself, being confident in your goals, is what's going to do it for you.

Posted
You know, this is off topic from Kashmir's thread here, but what do you think makes you a heartbreaker in people's eyes? I think of a heartbreaker as being a good looking girl with lots of options who repeatedly jumps from guy to guy, not someone like you seem to describe yourself as.

 

Edit: I realize that didn't come out right. I'm not saying you're not good looking or have lots of options, moreso that you describe yourself as being more reserved than I think of a heartbreaker as.

 

Yes, this was a bad choice of words. I've never actually been called heartbreaker per se (nor do I want to be!) I think what I meant was, I am sometimes perceived as being the stock rejector rather than the rejectee, though the opposite is true.

 

For example, on a few occasions I have liked a guy and he wouldn't make a move, then much later he would subtly accuse me of having rejected him. That kind of thing.

Posted

Or friends would insist I hadn't been receptive towards a guy even though I was pretty interested and was just waiting for him to make a move. Not often, a couple times.

Posted

 

For example, on a few occasions I have liked a guy and he wouldn't make a move, then much later he would subtly accuse me of having rejected him. That kind of thing.

Be nice and friendly. It goes a long way

  • Author
Posted
My advice is only that you shouldn't bring others opinions into how you estimate yourself. Since you were worying if people thought of you as a loner creep or something I guess it was a relief to hear some one say they thought you were with lots of women or untouchable or something. Yes it is funny to hear something like that. But the way you wrote this thread you seem to put alot into it. I'm not trying to put you down just give you advice and the advice is do the things you want to do and don't worry about what other people are going to think unless it could really effect your life

 

It must seem like I put a lot of thought into this stuff on LS, but I really don't. Understand that my writing on LS is strictly my mind concerned with social interactions and girls. I spend most of my downtime in between classes with my nose in some book trying to get as far away as possible from noisy and distracting people as possible....that or practicing guitar, in which case I also get away from people by going to the lowest level of the basement where it's sound-proof and void of people. The last thing I want in my mind is analyzing what others are thinking of me, thus distracting me from whatever I'm working on.

 

Now, there are times when I put aside that loner attitude and think, "You know, that girl looks nice...I'd like to talk to her." THEN what I do in front of others and how I come off becomes more prevalent in my thinking. At that time I get an idea or question and sometimes I'll come on here to ask it.

 

As far as things go now, I have this girl I'm seeing. I'm not sure if I like her enough, though, and I want to be able to approach and date other girls in my classes without feeling guilty (I've been dating this girl since before school started, and I'm very sure she wouldn't like it if I was talking to other girls). She's also a bit clingy and wants to meet up every night to hook up, and I realized that I just don't have the time for that. Eh, I'll figure something out.

Posted
It must seem like I put a lot of thought into this stuff on LS, but I really don't. Understand that my writing on LS is strictly my mind concerned with social interactions and girls. I spend most of my downtime in between classes with my nose in some book trying to get as far away as possible from noisy and distracting people as possible....that or practicing guitar, in which case I also get away from people by going to the lowest level of the basement where it's sound-proof and void of people. The last thing I want in my mind is analyzing what others are thinking of me, thus distracting me from whatever I'm working on.

 

Now, there are times when I put aside that loner attitude and think, "You know, that girl looks nice...I'd like to talk to her." THEN what I do in front of others and how I come off becomes more prevalent in my thinking. At that time I get an idea or question and sometimes I'll come on here to ask it.

 

As far as things go now, I have this girl I'm seeing. I'm not sure if I like her enough, though, and I want to be able to approach and date other girls in my classes without feeling guilty (I've been dating this girl since before school started, and I'm very sure she wouldn't like it if I was talking to other girls). She's also a bit clingy and wants to meet up every night to hook up, and I realized that I just don't have the time for that. Eh, I'll figure something out.

 

well honesty is your best defence with this girl. Just let her know that you like her alot and want to continue seeing her but your not at the point where you want to go steady with her and still consider dating other people. Your feeling may change for this girl or you may meet some one new that you want to make the only girl in your life

Posted

'Nice' girls don't run from 'womanizers.' Not successful ones anyway. Is George Clooney a womanizer? And those rock stars who bang endless groupies? They can still get quality girlfriends if they choose.

 

Of course I expect a few 'well I don't find players attractive' responses. That's often the same thing they say to their faces before ending up in bed/relationships with them.

Posted

messed up this post. sorry

Posted
being confident in your goals

 

can you explain more about this? What if someone has already achieved all his goals except for one and that is to be in a serious relationship with a woman?

 

 

'Nice' girls don't run from 'womanizers.' Not successful ones anyway. Is George Clooney a womanizer? And those rock stars who bang endless groupies? They can still get quality girlfriends if they choose.

 

Of course I expect a few 'well I don't find players attractive' responses. That's often the same thing they say to their faces before ending up in bed/relationships with them.

 

 

well said!

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