You'reasian Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Hey guys! I was seeing this girl whom I was seriously interested in. We had a wonderful date and saw each other twice - I was happy and feeling good about things. Unfortunately, she cancels on a date that we were supposed to have and doesn't give any reason. She then goes and says that I am more interested in her than she is me - which is fine. I took it at face value, not as gaming and told her no problem. I then texted her and told her that we probably aren't compatible at this point. To my luck, I invited a classy young lady tonight instead to enjoy an 8-course meal - which I paid for in full I basically spoiled her. We had a wonderful evening - lots of laughter, good conversation and things started getting just a little more cozy towards the end. This young lady that came out with me seemed like a straight-shooter and a nice girl, which really blew my expectations away especially since she is more than 5 years younger than the woman I was previously interested in and as long as I've known her (3-months) has never given me the run around. Well, I hope everyone is having a nice evening. Best of luck to your romantic persuits!!
burningashes Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 "I think you're more into me than I'm into you." Bottom line: I'm just not into you. Glad the second lady worked out
Surfer Dude Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 I strongly recommend you never spend more than $5 on a woman you're not actively having sex with. What's up with all the pampering and courting these days? Jeez. But I'm glad things are working out for you
Island Girl Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 I am so glad you had such a good time. You have a romantic spirit I know. So comments that come from guys like Surfer Dude, well, they just don't understand now do they? I hope things continue to go well for you.
likestolaugh Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 I strongly recommend you never spend more than $5 on a woman you're not actively having sex with. What's up with all the pampering and courting these days? Jeez. But I'm glad things are working out for you exactly, it's called being a gentleman, and it's part of courting. What, do you take your dates to McDonalds? Otherwise it's hard to spend so little...
Enema Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 He said, don't spend more than $5 on the woman... not with the woman. I'm with Surfer Dude... feel free to go to a classy restaurant, but she should cover her half unless she's selling a service.
Surfer Dude Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 exactly, it's called being a gentleman, and it's part of courting. What, do you take your dates to McDonalds? Otherwise it's hard to spend so little... Yes, I do! hahaha. And to Starbucks too! In rare instances when we go to a restaurant, we split! And I regularly seal the deal on the first couple of dates or so. This whole "gentleman" thing smells of desperation and supplication. Are you so desperate that the only way you can attract a woman is with a promise of a free meal? I don't waste my time on "auditions", so that she could decide after 3rd date that she has someone else she likes better, or can't be with me for whatever reason. In fact, I don't date at all. I hang out with a girl until we decide if we like each other or not, but by that time dates aren't even necessary anymore because we have already moved into physical territory.
fishtaco Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Personally I would spend more than 5$; I would do a reasonably priced sit-down place. I know plenty of quaint places like that. The lavish dinners are reserved for special occasions for special people. No one becomes special after only a few dates. Even though I agree with Surfer Dude -- you can't buy a woman's romantic interest with dinners or any materialistic things, the "tradition" is men taking women out and pay for it, so I'll play along with tradition. And I applaud women that want to split the dinner. The man is auditioning the woman just as much as the woman is auditioning the man. They are on equal grounds. Other than "tradition", there's no reason why the man should be paying. So by default I will play the game and stick with tradition. But if the woman offers to split, or offers to pay for the 2nd date since I paid for the first, she earns bonus points with me. And it's a matter of placing bets. If you place you bets too high, she disappears after 3rd date, you lose whatever you put in. So only put in whatever you're willing to throw away. But to You'reasian, glad your 2nd date went well, that's how you do it, move on to the next girl. I hope you have #3 lined up... hey, you never know. If a full on 8 course meal is a drop in the bucket for you, then by all means do it, it's still just a small bet to you.
likestolaugh Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Yes, I do! hahaha. And to Starbucks too! In rare instances when we go to a restaurant, we split! And I regularly seal the deal on the first couple of dates or so. This whole "gentleman" thing smells of desperation and supplication. Are you so desperate that the only way you can attract a woman is with a promise of a free meal? I don't waste my time on "auditions", so that she could decide after 3rd date that she has someone else she likes better, or can't be with me for whatever reason. In fact, I don't date at all. I hang out with a girl until we decide if we like each other or not, but by that time dates aren't even necessary anymore because we have already moved into physical territory. Seriously?? You would take a date to a fast food place for a first or second date? well, whatever floats your boat I guess... I don't need to buy anyone's attention... and I won't date those kinds of girls anyway. Many women expect the man to pay for the first few dates... just because it's tradition, so to speak. It's almost starting to sound like all you care about is banging the chick, since you seem to constantly mention doing so after the 3rd date. Then again, I've never been into flings and such... I only date women I can see being with for a while... and so thus I put no timeline... and generally stick to tradition.
Surfer Dude Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Seriously?? You would take a date to a fast food place for a first or second date? well, whatever floats your boat I guess... Those places are good because they don't put you in a position where you will have to care about paying. Even if you have to pay for her coffee, you won't feel used and she will know she can't get dinners and "real dates" if she didn't do anything to deserve them. Frankly, how did any woman deserve lavishing dinners on on the first few dates (unless they did something exceptional for you)? I know this sounds like prostitution, but try to see it in the context of supplicating and lavishing. I don't need to buy anyone's attention... and I won't date those kinds of girls anyway. Many women expect the man to pay for the first few dates... just because it's tradition, so to speak.They do expect it, but if you disregard those phony societal constructions such as "dating", she will see you're a free spirit and a man of value who doesn't put much stock into those silly games. That will work in your favor, because women don't like spineless guys who supplicate. They might look for a provider, but deep down in their being, they need an alpha character to take care of their emotional and physical needs. But since we live in a materialistic society based on money, women will sometimes look for a provider, but ideally for a guy who is the best of both worlds. However, if she gets all hung up on you paying, then she's a gold digger and not worth spending time with, you should NEXT HER WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE. It's almost starting to sound like all you care about is banging the chick, since you seem to constantly mention doing so after the 3rd date.While it would be wrong to say it's all I care about, I can say it's the thing I care about the most. I don't dismiss and downplay my sexuality. Guys who do that end up in friends zone most of the time anyway. Besides, sex is the core of every relationship. If there is no sex, there can be no relationship, but even if there is sex, you can use it as the core of your relationship and build on it further. Then again, I've never been into flings and such... I only date women I can see being with for a while... and so thus I put no timeline... and generally stick to tradition.That's society speaking through you, those are someone else's words, not yours. I don't care about "tradition", it means absolutely nothing to me. I also don't care about how long a relationship lasts. I live for the wonderful experience of connecting with great women, and whether it lasts or not, it doesn't matter.
likestolaugh Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 ...and more power to you. You and I just have different methods... both work fine for what we want, methinks. I guess I was thinking more of the girl I'm seeing now... we been out many times... we haven't had any sex, even though she's stayed over at my place a few times. We're both the type that take things as they come... she's the type that moves slowly... but everytime I see her she opens up more mentally and physically. You'd probably have dumped her and banged the next chick already... but I don't know. I know it will be worth the wait, because I don't just connect with her physically... emotionally and mentally as well. Maybe I'm just too patient. and btw, going out for coffee is fine for a first date, I agree... but surely... surely... you wouldn't take her to a McDonalds or Burger King type of place... That's a bit of a "white trash" type of thing to do for a date eh... I'm just curious... because we joke about people who do that sort of stuff here and how their relationships never last... but I certainly wouldn't go out for a "lavish" dinner with anyone on a first date... that's crazy. $20-$30 at MOST for the combined meal... often more like $15
Surfer Dude Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 and btw, going out for coffee is fine for a first date, I agree... but surely... surely... you wouldn't take her to a McDonalds or Burger King type of place... That's a bit of a "white trash" type of thing to do for a date eh... I'm just curious... because we joke about people who do that sort of stuff here and how their relationships never last... I used McDonalds as a figure of speech, I don't say "Ok, I will meet you at McDonalds at 19:30", because there are far better places to set up a meeting. Coffee shops are perfect for seduction and hanging out, because you have plenty more opportunities to establish physical contact than on a dinner date; and let's not forget it's a relaxed setting. But if by any chance me and the girl did get hungry and there was a McDonalds nearby, then I'd go there by all means. I don't care what society says about that. I can resist social pressure and comments made by various gold diggers and sexually frustrated guys. In all honesty, I've never dated in America, so I've never experienced what it's like to date American women. But I've dated both in Europe and east Asia, and women in both places care very little about who pays and who doesn't pay, and they care even less about being lavished and "treated like a lady". Maybe it's just a cultural difference, I dunno. (by default, ladies in Japan always split, for example).
likestolaugh Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 In all honesty, I've never dated in America, so I've never experienced what it's like to date American women. But I've dated both in Europe and east Asia, and women in both places care very little about who pays and who doesn't pay, and they care even less about being lavished and "treated like a lady". Maybe it's just a cultural difference, I dunno. (by default, ladies in Japan always split, for example). I think this is mainly what it comes down to then.... and it's part of the reason I've always wanted to move to Europe . There just "are" expectation here in North America, and it doesn't really matter what kind of girl it is... it's just a given that what I described has to happen. So much so that when it doesn't, it's often taken to mean that the guy is just socially inept, which is a shame. There are exceptions, of course... but I'm talking about the majority. Anyway, long live the euro style!
Lucky555 Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 This is by far the best post i have read all day! I'm glad you went right on to the next girl and gave her a great time! She will surely remember you now and most likely be coming back for more! I'm glad you fed the lady too that is big points. good job! (Don't go and spend a fortune though for future consideration..unless you can) Sounds like you really tried to "sweep her off her feet" The whole notion is courting the lady and making her feel like a goddess..sounds like u did that! IF only more men would "ROMANCE" a woman. I hope you get another date. Remember don't come on too strong though, just keep it fun and enjoyable. Don't expect anything and keep going with the flow. You really did a great job at seeing how the other girl was not compatible and went on to find someone who is very inspirational! Home run in my book
fishtaco Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Home run in my book Whoa there, hold your horses. While I don't want to downplay You'reasian's success, I think it'd be wise to make sure this 2nd girl doesn't flake out on future dates first before proclaiming a home run. It is entirely possible that she will pull the same stunt as girl #1 after a few more dates. I would say on the right track. And that's it. Not enough to stop You'reasian from going on dates with girl #3, or #4, or #5. But those 8 course meals can get expensive, I hope he's loaded.
MadDog Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 But those 8 course meals can get expensive, I hope he's loaded. Being loaded makes most things in life easier, including dating. MD
fishtaco Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Being loaded makes most things in life easier, including dating. MD Kind of like having a nice rack.
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