csadbp Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 ok she was young and we wnet threw a rough time... she got pregnant and we got married... i was a complete jerk to her the first year of our marrage.. and i know.... now .... i love my wife and my daughter.. my wife is 19 and now she is working with ppl her age and now she wants to hang out with out me... i really dont think she is cheating on me.. but she says she is confused and dosent know whats bothering her all the time.. " mabye its me and u mabye is my job mabye i just need to grow up" thats what she tells me.. i try to show my love for her .... but i keep getting pushed away... now what.. i cant stand the thought of looseing my wife and daughter,,,, help please
Geishawhelk Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 too young, too much, too soon. How old are you? She's living the life she would still be living if she were single. It was madness to ever get married, let alone have a child. I'd leave. No. I would, really. Then she'll see how difficult it is to live the way she wants to AND look after the baby single-handed. Then, when she desperately begs you to go back, you must go to counselling together and try to find a way to compromise and see your way through this. Drastic. But effective.
soserious1 Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 too young, too much, too soon. How old are you? She's living the life she would still be living if she were single. It was madness to ever get married, let alone have a child. I'd leave. No. I would, really. Then she'll see how difficult it is to live the way she wants to AND look after the baby single-handed. Then, when she desperately begs you to go back, you must go to counselling together and try to find a way to compromise and see your way through this. Drastic. But effective. Why would she need to raise the baby "single handed" ? She'll have plenty of time to get out there and meet yummy new men,to date and fun fun during the times baby is with her father.
Alan430 Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Not to be insensitive, but prepare for this line "I love you,but im not in love with you". Going through something very similiar but mine is already in seperation stage.
Gunny376 Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Hate to be the one to tell you, but statisically you've got a five per cent chance of pulling this off (reconciling) The divorce rate of men that get married because the woman got pregno? 95% The divorce rate of men for men that got married under the age of 25? 95% Its because relationship and inter-personal relationship skills are not taught formally in the education system. Why? Sex. To do so would bring up the taboo of sex. Sex education in this country is nothing but a joke! Why? Organized religion! So we're left to stumbled and fumble our ways through the goal posts of life. When it comes to marriage, personal relationships, personal OJT (On the Job Training) is a lousy way to learn. Per the situtation you've described? I would bet she's at least wanting to be single, or she's already cheating, or has someone in mind? Which is totally not about you! (Its not that the OM is better than you, nor has more to offer her ~ its just that he triggered her specific "attraction-triggers" at the perfect moment in time? Most women that cheat "trade-down" because they cannot keep up nor compete with the individual they find themselves with) Its about her own insecurties, morals, ethics, values, issues as an individual. So don't go beating yourself over it. It is what it is. It could be simply that she's young and immature and got married too young. (Most of us have made that mistake)
TrustInYourself Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 What do you do on a daily basis that affirms your love for her? When she goes out, what is waiting for her when she comes home? A messy house? A broken, crying, out of shape *husband*? Ask yourself what you bring to the table and reattack using actions. Not words. Take care.
seibert253 Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Hate to be the one to tell you, but statisically you've got a five per cent chance of pulling this off (reconciling) The divorce rate of men that get married because the woman got pregno? 95% The divorce rate of men for men that got married under the age of 25? 95% Its because relationship and inter-personal relationship skills are not taught formally in the education system. Why? Sex. To do so would bring up the taboo of sex. Sex education in this country is nothing but a joke! Why? Organized religion! So we're left to stumbled and fumble our ways through the goal posts of life. When it comes to marriage, personal relationships, personal OJT (On the Job Training) is a lousy way to learn. Per the situtation you've described? I would bet she's at least wanting to be single, or she's already cheating, or has someone in mind? Which is totally not about you! (Its not that the OM is better than you, nor has more to offer her ~ its just that he triggered her specific "attraction-triggers" at the perfect moment in time? Most women that cheat "trade-down" because they cannot keep up nor compete with the individual they find themselves with) Its about her own insecurties, morals, ethics, values, issues as an individual. So don't go beating yourself over it. It is what it is. It could be simply that she's young and immature and got married too young. (Most of us have made that mistake) Once again Gunny's right on the mark.
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