guy.lepage Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I find it difficult to gauge the right moment to open up on the things that turn me on and my sexual fantasies in general. I often date women and things go well for a while. Things go sour when I open up. Should I wait several months before discussing such things or should I be upfront? I'm not a zoophile or anything but I do enjoy role playing and other similar fantasies.
Still Trying Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 conversation at work: "so when in the relationship is it acceptable to bring up the poop fetish?" "3 months? 5 months? So honey... there's something I've been meaning to ask you!" lol, sorry. If these fantasies are really important to you, I'd bring them up pretty soon in the relationship, not 3 months, maybe 3 weeks. What are you looking for? A LTR? or a fling?
Ronni_W Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 I think before first sexual intercourse, whether that's 3 hours or 3 months into the relationship. It gives the other person the chance to make an informed decision about getting into a sexual relationship with you. Yes, depending on the situation, you (both) may need to put the brakes on and have "the conversation". Even in that case, I'm saying put the brakes on
Author guy.lepage Posted February 1, 2009 Author Posted February 1, 2009 Thanks, I also believe in telling the truth ASAP but feel like I've been burned a couple of times for being too forward. I am looking, ideally, for a meaningful relationship so proper screening is required...
dreamergrl Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 I think really it depends on just how kinky the role playing and such gets. But to be honest, that's something I'd like to know before a sack session. I'd be a little "uhhh what you did you say" if you waited until "bed" time. Or where ever the latest role playing takes place
Ronni_W Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Thanks, I also believe in telling the truth ASAP but feel like I've been burned a couple of times for being too forward. I am looking, ideally, for a meaningful relationship so proper screening is required... I wouldn't call it "screening" so much...sounds like I am (the woman is) on a job interview or something . You're right that there is a bit of a fine line...for me, I'd not need to hear about a guy's sexual fantasies and preferences until after I've decided that I'm interested in a "leading to long-term", with him. But if we're just doing a quickie/casual thing, I couldn't care less about his wants and needs (cos I'm not invested in pleasing him long-term, anyway.) So maybe. *IF* you're even remotely interested in a "leading to long-term" with a particular woman, you tell her before first sex? Then again, talking in general of sexual fantasies and such on a first or 2nd date CAN be fun and sexy. So maybe it depends on how you phrase it? I'd tend to be more receptive if he was subtle, "So I read about this in Penthouse forum (or, saw it on 'Debbie Does Dallas Again'), and it looked kinda interesting to try...do you have any opinions on that?" If he goes, "So I was browsing porn on the internet and..." Nah. I'd be out. But that's just me. And if he is all, "I wanna try this and I gotta do that," then stick me with a fork, and call me a cab. Cos I'm done.
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