monkophile Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 There's been this guy that I had been asking questions about lately. He and I have known each other for about five years; have become really close friends for 2 1/2 to 3 years and have started really flirting back and forth since last summer. He was a former college prof of mine (I've since graduated). I did not know his exact age (I was guessing around 50), but finally came across on the internet the year he graduated from college. Not knowing exactly what age he graduated he's anywhere from 57-60; I'm 25. The idea that he was 50 was fine as we get along fine, but this new discovery is way too much for my comfort zone. He honestly looks 20 years younger, but that's beside the point. ANYWAY...I can't stop thinking about him. The shock of finding out roughly his age has went away somewhat and now I don't know whether to try to forget him from a relationship-level and try to remain good friends or just give him a chance. I definitely don't want to lose his friendship as I value that deeply but feel a little uneasy about us dating. (Maybe that's why he's been ignoring me since we met over Christmas - we were doing some heavy flirting: talking for over 2 hrs, constant eye contact during our talk, one time he stopped talking, was leaning forward on the table and we gazed in each other's eyes for several seconds which he finally broke, looked down, and had an embarrassed-looking smile on his face, always laughing, smiling and blushing at me. But he's been ignoring me since then....I don't know why, maybe because he knows how old I am...on the other hand, even after knowing how old I am, he said the next time I'm in town we can just meet at his house). I still love him; he didn't screw with me or anything, which makes this decision even harder. I mean I guess with true love age is just a number, but this difference is a little too much for me; it would take some getting used to. But, at least outwardly, he seems fine being seen in public with me as we've always gone out for lunch or coffee. The invite to his house was the first private thing he's mentioned (of course, giving me conflicting signals, he asked me how old I was and I told him and he looked at me with wide eyes and said "you're 25??" I said yeah. And then later he told me about the invite to his house. Since he's ignoring me I could see it the other way around. Now I wish I would have asked him "what do you mean by that" because I don't know if the shock in his voice was he couldn't believe I'm that old - since I look quite young for my age - or it became a red flag in his mind). And, like I said before, he really looks 15-20 years younger, so it's not like I'm out with some gray-haired grandpa, so the public eye doesn't bother me. Should I still give us a chance since we get along so well and the time really does fly when I'm talking to him. I really hope I haven't scared him away. I need advice! PS: I consider this long-distance - he lives in the north-eastern US and I live in the south-central US. I plan to come home over the summer. But before he was ignoring me (which I still can't understand why) we kept constant touch through email and sometimes talked on the phone for a good half an hour every other week.
Still Trying Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 My ex roommate was secretly dating her pastor. 20+ years her senior. I found it creepy, and gross but my opinion didn't really matter... They broke it off after about a year of running around behind every one's back. just have to decide if you're willing to explain your relationship to everyone, assuming that you make it that far. Sounds like a long shot to me. I've been attracted to older people but not that much older. sorry, sorta lame advice I guess.
Ramrod Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 My father divorced my mother and hooked up with a woman who is 17 years his junior. When the go out to eat, people mistake him for her father. Ick!
unacceptable62 Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 You are clearly having reservations about the age difference, and you probably won't ever truly get over those reservations.
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