Knight_Ctrl Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 ex just sent me a text, that I think came from me telling her not to call me ever again the other day it said "I know you dont want to talk to me, but i wish you didnt hate me =(" to which I promptly replied with a delete and an ignore. I said nothing to her, I'm not going to. Whoosa man.
openbook08 Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 "I know you dont want to talk to me, but i wish you didnt hate me =(" get lost! high five to you , now continue to ignore whoopaahh!
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 31, 2009 Author Posted January 31, 2009 yeah i really wanted to reply "bitch I dont give two ****s about what you wish, **** off" but i didnt cause im awesome. I feel really great right now, like I've finally proven some kind of control over this.
openbook08 Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 i'm tellin you, when you come out the other side of all this crap and schit that feelin you just had will multiply by millions & it will carry you a long way.we're all a lot stronger than we realise. romantically, youve dealt with the worst & youre still alive! "do a liitle dance make a little love get down tonight!"
IcemanJB Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 'atta boy! I'll drink a couple for ya! err...later today, 9 is a bit early. Taking the high road; that's what it's all about.
msjules Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 This beyotch is crazy. I've been reading your threads and she must be out of her mind. She put the "ig" in ignorant.
hunkahunkaburninlove Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 She isn't gonna like you ignoring her. She will find a way to interject herself into your life. She wants to keep you as a friend in case she wants to screw around on her new boyfriend. She would tell you that she had second thoughts and that she misses you. All the time telling her boyfriend how much she loves him. She is a skanky c%@t.
techfan Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 YEAH CONGRATS MAN! Use that power now that you've gained and it will start multiplying! The fact that you didn't respond will make you stronger each passing day. Great job!
Zammo25 Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 ex just sent me a text, that I think came from me telling her not to call me ever again the other day it said "I know you dont want to talk to me, but i wish you didnt hate me =(" to which I promptly replied with a delete and an ignore. I said nothing to her, I'm not going to. Whoosa man. Women can be evil and manipulative. Don't play her game. Good on you.
Tryng2Trust08 Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Good for you!!! Actually, I have sent my ex texts saying I wish he didnt hate me just cuz I truly did feel bad, nothing manipulative behind it, plus h did the breaking up with me most of the times, lol. But that's awesome you didn't respond and your not going to!! If I remember right she cheated on you!? F*ck her, cheaters are always cheaters! My ex husband cheated on me and trust me the feelings go away and pretty soon you will feel nothing for her.
Geishawhelk Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 She will try again, you know that, don't you? She will just try to get something - anything - out of you to validate herself and prove she's not wrong. She CAN get under your skin, matter to you, and make a difference. Resist, resist, resist.
Geishawhelk Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 yeah i really wanted to reply "bitch I dont give two ****s about what you wish, **** off" but i didnt cause im awesome. I feel really great right now, like I've finally proven some kind of control over this. Ah. yes. I take full credit for this. :laugh:
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted February 1, 2009 Author Posted February 1, 2009 She will try again, you know that, don't you? She will just try to get something - anything - out of you to validate herself and prove she's not wrong. She CAN get under your skin, matter to you, and make a difference. Resist, resist, resist. ok...so what do I do then, do i just continue to ignore her or should I just out right tell her to piss off:(
peteyj Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 ex just sent me a text, that I think came from me telling her not to call me ever again the other day it said "I know you dont want to talk to me, but i wish you didnt hate me =(" to which I promptly replied with a delete and an ignore. I said nothing to her, I'm not going to. Whoosa man. Good for you but I'm not big on this theory. If you don't want to talk to her, then don't talk to her. Celebrating that you didn't contact her means you still aren't over her and you probably never will be unless she stops contacting you altogether. The NC theory to me might be good when you break up but in the long run it's really just a mechanism for people to hide or pretend like nothing is wrong. If you have to build up strength to stand up to her and you need the NC rule to do this, then by all means go for it. But if you are still celebrating a year or two later about ignoring or deleting a message from an ex, I'd say you're just masking or hiding from the truth. Sometimes you need to face things head on to move on. Pretending like nothing is wrong isn't getting anybody anywhere. If you really want to move on, then who cares if you contact the ex or not. Stop celebrating not contacting her. Stop celebrating you ignoring her. The fact you're celebrating NC after she texts you sounds more like you're too afraid to face what might happen. And you'll never get over her that way. You'll just be pretending you did because you didn't have to deal with it. Dealing with the crap head on sooner rather than later is how you get over somebody and move on. Playing some game where you pretend like everything is great is just playing a game by hiding your feelings. If the girl or guy did you wrong, you hate them over that fact, then you deal with it. If it means never talking to them again, then don't talk to them. But it's a small world and just ignoring the truth now might open up a whole other can of worms in the future if you actually bump into this person. Listen to or read all the posts about people doing good but then one day a year or two later a friend mentions they saw the ex or they ran into the ex and all those feelings came back again. Sometimes it's better to feel the pain early on over hiding that pain and avoiding it. This whole NC theory for life sounds like advice for high school kids. It works great if you never actually see that person again. Doesn't work so great if you're still celebrating NC and then actually bump into them one day. Talk about awkward moments.
Geishawhelk Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Pete you make a very good point. It should come to the time where people don't give a flying rat's @$$ about Contact or NO Contact. But you see, they have to get there first. It's a gradual process, and there's a period of emotional mourning, which isn't helped by the constant intrusion of the person they're trying to get over. If you saw the movie "Truly Madly Deeply" Juliet stevenson was tormented by the 'presence' of the man she loved, whilst mourning for him. She only eventually got over him when something triggered a closure. That trigger, was meeting someone else, eventually. Nobody can be expected to get over something like this instantly. It's a transition from one state to the other, and NC helps that. Knight, if she sends you texts of this kind - emotional heartstring yanks - you ignore them, completely. If she send you a message, which does require a response because it appears to be a legitimate question - then you can resort to the short, terse, to-the-point text, leaving her in no doubt that contact with you is an absolute no-no. I would however, maybe suggest resisting the temptation to use foul language and profanities. This shows not only a lack of control, but that emotionally, she still gets to you. How about something like: "Explain to me which part of 'no' and 'contact' do you not understand?" In fact, type the above into your drafts, and when her messages turn into something that seems innocent and genuine - haul it out of drafts, and send it. But not before. Not for something as puerile and inane as the one she sent you, above. Until then - shhhhhhh!!
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted February 1, 2009 Author Posted February 1, 2009 I'm going to have to just keep on with my NC then. I do get to the don't care stage with my exs, a few of my long ago exs come into where I work now and I honestly dont care. We dont say anything to each other it doesnt hurt. I don't think NC is hiding forever, eventually it just puts the ex back in with the rest of the world. Its not like I keep in contact with everyone on earth all of the time, someday she'll just be another person. Geisha you are right, if she does REQUIRE a response (life or death I guess) then its going to be breif, if she just keeps trying to hurt me like she has been she is going to get ignored. And I've been thinking about gettting my phone number changed. I think maybe that would be a step in the right direction.
CaliGuy Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Yeah my ex tried a few times. Even after telling her that by her communicating with me she was crossing a boundary. I don't think it sunk it to her until I told her to "beat it" and that I didn't want/need her in my life. Since then she's respected my boundary. Which is good given we work together
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