GS99 Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 She's 35. I'm 29. She likes them older than that. I'm wondering how to go about trying to change her mind. I want to at least give it a shot here but am not sure what to do. I'm very interested in her.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I'm 36 and I love younger men. I usually date younger men. She is crazy. Do you have a job? Do you act like an adult? Does everything else click with her? Are you sure the age is why she is rejecting you or is that the most convenient excuse?
missdeathwish Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I'm afraid I don't know what to tell you. I suppose allow yourself to be relegated to "friend zone" for awhile and just hang out with her for awhile. If she thinks you're cool, maybe she'll reconsider.
missdeathwish Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Ha, ha. I actively avoid younger men. Then again, my idea of a younger man is one who is still in college.
Author GS99 Posted January 31, 2009 Author Posted January 31, 2009 I'm 36 and I love younger men. I usually date younger men. She is crazy. Do you have a job? Do you act like an adult? Does everything else click with her? Are you sure the age is why she is rejecting you or is that the most convenient excuse? We're co-workers and make about the same. The last guy she dated didn't make what I do. I suppose it could be for other reasons, but she seems genuine about the age thing. She's never dated a younger guy before.
missdeathwish Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 It's possible that your company has a policy against dating colleagues. Might that be it?
Author GS99 Posted January 31, 2009 Author Posted January 31, 2009 It's possible that your company has a policy against dating colleagues. Might that be it? They're OK with that.
missdeathwish Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Hmm. Well, it could be that she's assuming that due to the age difference there are differences in expectations, levels of experience, levels of maturity, and so forth. I don't know. But if she's not interested, there's not much you can do. I guess I'll just reiterate that maybe you should try to spend some time letting her get to know you as a person rather than a prospect (and vice versa). Then maybe she'll get a better idea of whether you're someone she'd be interested in dating or not. Best.
RRyan65 Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Do you want to just nail this lady, or are you seriously interested in a relationship with her? Be honest with yourself. If you're in the market for a serious relationship, wtf are you doing pursuing this seriously older chick that is not interested in you? MAN THE F UP, SON!
Surfer Dude Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 You're 29, you could be working multiple 20 yr old sweeties, why waste your time on a woman older than you? Sheesh.
Lizzie60 Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Hum.. methink if you had told her you were 30 it would have been OK.. she might have problem with the '2'.. OR her preference is for older guys.. to each their own. I prefer younger.. but then I'm much older.. 6 years is nothing.. methink she either has no interest in you or she solely prefer older.
Trialbyfire Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 She's 35. I'm 29. She likes them older than that. I'm wondering how to go about trying to change her mind. I want to at least give it a shot here but am not sure what to do. I'm very interested in her. Have you asked her out or are you relying on something generic she's expressed? I'm not saying that asking her out will change her mind but if she's gotten to know you as an individual and finds you mature, she might agree to try a date. Having said all that, I've yet to meet a younger guy I'd date. The youngest guy I've dated, was six months younger and that was when I was a teenager. I'm 34, around the age of this woman in your office. It's all about stage and perspective in life v. age.
xjadex Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 She has probably made up her mind and I doubt she will change it. I don't go for younger guys and when I say I'm not interested in them, I mean I'm not interested in them and they don't have a great lot of success in changing my mind....no matter how much they earn!
Lucky_One Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 My "rule" tends to be dating guys older. A vanity thing. Women usually age worse than me - women go gray, and that is NOT called distinguished. That way, HE gets to hit the milestone decade birthdays before me, and then he always gets to be with a younger woman. so, in effect, you would still be 44, and she would feel middle-aged and 50. That said, if I was really attracted to a guy and really liked him, I would date him even if he was younger. I am guessing she just isn't into you, and is giving you age as an excuse.
MSUE Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 My living BF is 5 years younger and neither one of us has a problem w it...but I will admit I was a bit hesitant till a few dates in...go for it...show her who you are and what a gentleman you can be or are plus I'm sure sex will be quiet enlightening for her once she tests the waters
Isolde Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 It is only pretty recently that women dating younger men has become accepted and even fashionable. Some women just aren't into this. 6 years isn't an insignificant age difference. And often women at 35 really really want to settle down, and you may not be on the same page. I agree, unless you're madly in love with her I would try to understand her reasons and not take it personally?
norajane Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 And often women at 35 really really want to settle down, and you may not be on the same page. Yes, a lot of women at 35 are thinking marriage and babies. If they want to have kids, then they want to date men who are in a phase of their life where they are likely to want the same things and are ready to take that step. She's probably thinking you're not likely to be ready for that, so why waste time dating? One of my friends is married to a woman about 7 years older, and she kept turning him down when he asked her out. Finally, she agreed to a date and told him that first night that, at her age, she was ready for a relationship that would lead to marriage and children and he needed to back off and leave her alone if that wasn't his goal at his age. They're married with 3 kids now, so it worked out. You might just try asking her out for happy hour after work, and see if she tells you what's what. Or, she just might not be that into you.
BentSpine Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 She might not be attracted to your looks, she may not get your sense of humour. Whatever the reason is, it's NOT your age. Move on while thanking the heavens that you didn't end up with this dishonest woman.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 My living BF is 5 years younger... Word to the wise, when you write in the present tense about your b/f, it is OK to let others assume that he is in fact living.
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