EmperorR Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I knew one day when I could muster up courage and no longer feel emotions for the cheat I would want the ring back and that day has come. It's not even the money to me it's the principle it's what that ring meant to me how hard I worked the blood the sweat the love and it sickens me to know it's in her grubby cheating hands. I haven't heard a peep out of her since oct 21 a stupid text I deleted, I guess some part of me is hesistating saying is it really worth it I'm dating someone new now, maybe just leave the baggage in the past. But another part of me is dammit I have insurance/warranty on it get it back. Arghhhh
GoneButNotForgotten Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Personally dude, I would say let it go. Would you really want to give the next girl that your ready to spend the rest of your life with a second hand ring? I know I wouldn't want to give a girl a ring that was purchased for someone else. But then again if you can get your money back out of it. I would say go for it. Just keep it simple and don't let your emotions in the way of it. This is an excellent time to keep everything completely rational.
Truly Lost Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I think you should definately get the ring back. It was a gift that represented your love and commitment. She doesn't deserve to have it because she broke that trust. If she had any respect for you she would have willingly handed back the ring. She has absolutely no use for it. She can't wear it because its an engagement ring and engaged (to you) she is not. If you can't return the ring from where you purchased it, then perhaps you can pawn it to get whatever you can (money wise) back. It was a terribly unfortunate thing that happened. You say you moved on so it wouldn't be out of line for you to request back what doesn't belong to her. I hope she will not challenge you in its return. I'm sorry she broke your heart. I hope your new girlfriend has helped mend that broken heart and maybe, one day, you can give that special kind of gift to her. I've never had any man purpose to me and would hate to think that the new man in my life (who ever that will be) would hesitate in giving me an engagement ring because of a terrible experience in the past. Good luck, I hope you can get it back.
nature Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 She should have given you the ring back. I am shocked that she didn't. The proper etiquette is that if a woman is the one who messed up the engagement, then she returns the ring. If the man is the one who messed up the engagement, then the woman keeps the ring. What a low class thing for her to keep the ring. Shocking. Ask for it back. It's the principle, money or not.
cabarc1 Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I am the one that broke things off in my engagement and a day later my bf came into my room and took the ring. Not even for one second did i think he was wrong for it!! A ring is not a gift, it's a symbol of your commitment. They aren't cheap so yeah you'd better go get it back!! She should have given it to you! U can definitely use the money as a down payment on the next ring (completely diff ring), you buy for that special girl!
Posco_Proudfoot Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I knew one day when I could muster up courage and no longer feel emotions for the cheat I would want the ring back and that day has come. You sure she'll give it back?
Geishawhelk Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 She should have given you the ring back. I am shocked that she didn't. The proper etiquette is that if a woman is the one who messed up the engagement, then she returns the ring. If the man is the one who messed up the engagement, then the woman keeps the ring. This is legally incorrect. It doesn't matter who broke the engagement off, the man is entiteld to the ring back, because it was a contractual symbol of an agreement to make a union binding. If the contract is reneged on, the giver is entitled to the ring back. In the case of marriage and subsequent divorce, the woman keeps the ring because the union of marriage was fulfilled and the contract completed. Without the marriage, the ring is legally EmperoR's and he is entitled to have it returned to him. Emp, I would write her a letter to be delivered by registered mail, so that she has to sign for it, and make sure it is typed. Hand-write her name *<dear 'name>* type the main body, formally requesting the return of the ring, and sign it by hand. Give a time limit of response to the letter and/or return of ring. Also further advise her that if she refuses to return the ring, or is unable to do so because she no longer has it, you will take legal measures to recover the costs. KEEP A COPY. Then - wait.
Ramrod Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 The engagement is over, regardless of why or who ended it, the ring MUST be returned to you since it was given to her in contemplation of marriage. Get the ring back, take it to a jeweler, sell it outright, or have it fashioned into another piece of jewelry to be sold, or give it to your Mom, sister, aunt, etc., get the ring BACK!!!
Posco_Proudfoot Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 This is legally incorrect. It doesn't matter who broke the engagement off, the man is entiteld to the ring back, because it was a contractual symbol of an agreement to make a union binding. Not in the U.S. There is certain variables involved that can make that happen. Example: Certain states recognize that only if it was called off by the receiver of the engagement ring and certain states have no law at all.
lonelygurl Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 I find this a very interesting post. Because l wonder what is the real legal truth. I am sure it does differ from different states/country. I have never heard of anyone giving back any type of ring....engagement, wedding or other. It is a gift that is given. Yes with a "promise" to marry, not a contract. So I would say it technically belongs to the wearer and not the giver. I never gave back my wedding bands or engagement ring to my Xhusband, just as he did not give back his wedding band. Nor over 40 years ago did my mother do the same who left me father. I will not be giving back my almost 5000 dollar engagement ring from my recent break up either. He broke it off, but regardless, it was a gift from him and he would never ask for it back either. I don't expect him to give back the ring or jewellery I gave him. I guess the only way to find out the real truth would be to contact a lawyer, but I still say it is a gift and has no merit.
Posco_Proudfoot Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 I'll post what I looked up. Conditional Gift States Many courts look at an engagement ring as a conditional gift that is given in contemplation of marriage. If there is no marriage, then the engagement ring needs to be returned. Iowa Kansas Michigan New Jersey New Mexico New York Pennsylvania Wisconsin The courts also have held in these states that the reasoning for no-fault divorces holds for no-fault broken engagements so an engagement ring should always be returned regardless of who decided to call off the engagement. Implied Conditional State In these locales, if the guy breaks the engagement, he won't get the ring back. If he doesn't break the engagement, he can request its return. California Montana is an unconditional state, which means you don't have to give it back. All this is applied for engagements only. Divorce is a horse of a difference color. None of this would apply. Then another article says Return the Engagement Ring: Regardless of who broke the engagement, according to protocol, the bride should return the engagement ring. The only exceptions to this is if the ring is an heirloom from her own family or if she received the ring as a Christmas or birthday gift.
Tryng2Trust08 Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 I work for a Judge and Attorney....where I live an engagement ring is considered a gift and doesnt have to be returned. There is no way someone could get that back from the other party...So, legally your not gettin that ring back. But morally she should give it back, and I would ask for it back if you are ok with doing so. I mean, why would she keep it!? I hope you get it back and get your $$ for it!!
lonelygurl Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Return the Engagement Ring: , according to protocol I wonder who's protocol that is according to? Interesting information. I don't live in the states. I still say it is a gift, therefore does not need to be returned. We do not ask or expect for other expensive items that were gifts to be returned, jewellery or otherwise so why should it be expected that an engagement ring be returned, because someone made up some protocol. To the poster who said why would she want it. Well for myself, my ring was a rare design and we had a one of a kind perfectly cut diamond put in the top. I am wearing it on my other hand, and plan on wearing it there for the rest of my life. It is a beautiful and expensive ring that I like very much.
Posco_Proudfoot Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 An engagement ring can be a major investment for a man. What is it they say? 2X your monthly salary? Sometimes they're still paying for it when engagements are broken off.
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