candelight Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Hello, I need some advice on my recent breakup. To make a long story short, my boyfriend and I broke up after 4 years of being in a consistant relationship. Of course I am devastated, hurt, mad, etc. But the thing is we never verbally agreed to this break-up. We just stopped calling one another. Granted we did have an argument before we broke-up but we saw each other after that. After we saw each other that was the last time we spoke. On New Year's Eve he sent me a "Happy New Year" text. I responded "U2" and that was it. I took the initiative to send him a "How is your New Year going" text about 2 weeks later. I thought it was ok since he broke the ice a little. He text me back right away. I was actually surprised because I didn't think he would respond so quickly. Anyway we texted back and forth and he told me his year wasn't going good. I knew it was probably his careers (yes he has more than one career) or maybe his kids. He told me all of his careers were doing bad. Naturally I felt bad for him. The next day he text me that He needed my help with making him a flier for his business, but he also added he knew not to ask me. I felt bad for him so about 2 weeks later I sent him a flier that I have already made for him when we were together. I never told him I would send it to him, I just sent it by mail. He did alot for me when we were together, so I figured I will just send it to him. He received it already and I haven't heard from him. No thankyou or nothing. I sent it because I felt bad, and a little gratitude from him wouldn't hurt. It was strictly professional. No, I want you back attached to it, no, call me later, just a professional letter with the flier. I haven't heard from him. I wonder what he's thinking? Now I am confused. Please advise! Thanks.
citizen67 Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Call him and say "hey, did you get the flier?" texting/emailing is very superficial
Author candelight Posted January 31, 2009 Author Posted January 31, 2009 I am really nervous to call him. I just don't want him to get the idea I want him back (even though I do) ya know. Something about making a phonecall to him that is really personal to me. I don't know, I am just unsure about calling him.
neverlost Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I just don't want him to get the idea I want him back (even though I do)Dangerous games, really. As you didn't officially "break up" I would just ask him straight, what is happening between you both? I mean, I would go no contact if I got dumped. But in this situation if you want him back and possibly he wants you back, but you are both too stubborn? to admit it and want the other person to "give in", you risk a big chance of losing each other forever. One day he or maybe even you will think, ok, i'm over this, and it will be TOO LATE to go back. -neverlost
Yuuki Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I think he may have just been so worried with his career and kids that he hasn't thought much about the two of you. He might now have gotten the flier, you could always simply call him and ask if he got the flier or how does he like it. He wasn't aware you were sending it if I'm reading correctly (a bit tired if this doesn't seem to make much sense) which gives you an opening to call if you are feeling too worried about calling him. It would also help a potential conversation. Maybe you'll even be able to work up the courage to just ask him flat out how he feels about you, no strings attached, just that you were wanting to get that off your chest. Just tell him that you would like to know to finally stop thinking about it once and for all, and if he says he doesn't want to be with you then you'll finally stop worrying and stressing yourself out, at the very least. I hope I've helped to some degree ~Yuuki
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