Shnuggles Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I have heard the phrase "they must be well educated" many, many times and was wondering what you all thought about this? Love to hear your views on this topic. Must be well educated. Now I can see this as a good thing, sure. Your date can spell, wear's a suit and you can talk them up to your friends about how they lead such and such people in their team. But really how is this important? Sounds more like an ego trip to me. You could have similar interests? Hardly unless you had the same classes as your date. Similar interests hardly come under this section. The only real positive I see is that you want a person who earns good money. Again, an ego trip really as basing a relationship on how much a person earns is just stupid. Sure its a great bonus in a relationship and can lead to having a lot of fun together but picking a partner for that reason is wrong in my opinion. Over the years I have met so many guys and girls that had a University education and yet where complete morons. My flatmates (a couple) are great examples as they have no consideration of others with their actions. They constantly make noise when I sleep; talking (yelling) outside my room, turning on lights near my window and even decide to have dinner outside my window at night (once at 10pm). I can't tell them to stop doing it because it seems I'm "Below them" in the food chain. Another problem with some educated or highly intelligent people it seems. My flatmates do get along very well together though. Its not bad to be educated of course. In fact its a darn good thing to be and makes life easier Im sure. In my experience I found that its not intelligence that people should look for in a person but wisdom. Wisdom stops you from slamming a door at 2am when people are asleep. A wise person has self-knowledge and it flows through everything we do. From communication to using what knowledge we have and how we use it. Saying a person must be well educated (university degree etc) just seems stupid to me and should be a bonus to a relationship rather then a 'must have'.
Trialbyfire Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 The more compatibilities you have, the less you'll fight over things. This includes how you were raised, how you think, what you value. I'm someone who strongly believes in education. If I'm going to enter a long-term relationship with someone, it will impact on the future. If they strongly believe that education isn't necessary, then we won't have similar values for any potential children. Btw, education doesn't guarantee intelligence or street smarts. But it does help to shape the way a person thinks, defining their logical steps to problem solving. This can impact on how a person reacts within a relationship, if they're unable to think in a logical and rational manner.
norajane Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 For me, "well-educated" does not mean just having a degree. Lots and lots of people have that. If I were to say that, and I do, I mean they must have an intellect and use it on a regular basis. They must be able to be interested in and interested in conversations about a variety of subjects, whether it's debating Obama's infrastructure plan, Greek mythology, investment strategies, Mayan ruins, or the time-travel elements of the "LOST" tv show. He doesn't have to know everything and we don't necessarily need to have exactly the same interests, but he certainly must have a healthy intellectual curiosity or I will quickly grow bored because we'd be fundamentally incompatible.
anne1707 Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Certificates do not make the person. It's about intelligence, curiousity, desire to self-improve, ability to understand others, thirst for knowledge, common sense, questioning,...
D-Lish Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I don't need someone who has a Degree... it's not a requirement for me. I dated a mechanic for a while, and as far as I am concerned- he was well educated- just in a different field than myself. He was a smart guy and he read a lot. We always had interesting things to talk about. I've also dated men with a University education that could have been retarded.
Crestfallen_KH Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I agree that it's a matter of values and compatibility. I don't demand that any potential mate have a MA, but I definitely want someone who has showed some initiative post high school. I want to see that someone has a plan for his future and that plan includes supporting himself and living up to his potential. I think a person is naturally happier and his/her self-esteem higher when he/she is living up to his potential. Education was highly valued in my house as well. I never heard "If you go to college..." it was always "WHEN you go to college..." Education opens doors to higher learning, higher salary and higher potential. Working towards something shows commitment, forethought and the desire to work hard - all things a person wants in a successful relationship. I made the effort to get a BA, and I work hard at my career. Thus, I feel I have every right to expect the same. I'm not demanding anyone bring something to the table that I don't bring (minus the penis, of course...can't help ya there)."
Isolde Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 It's not a requirement for me for dating, but I doubt I will seriously date someone without a degree. As TBF sort of pointed out, it's not so much about the degree/diploma as about the fact that people who go to universities tend to have been raised similarly, with similar expectations. It's a compatibility issue. That's why I said I probably won't date someone without a degree, not because I really care about whether they went to college. That said, there ARE other measures of success, and I'm willing to see those for what they are.
Star Gazer Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Sounds more like an ego trip to me. Why would it be an ego trip for an educated person to want to date someone else who's also educated?
GoneButNotForgotten Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Education is a relative term really. I know a lot of people that can quote and cite things from obscure textbooks that mean absolutely nothing in the real world. I don't think it is so much as education they are looking for, but intelligence. I have had some amazing conversations with people who were not "well educated" but were intelligent and understood many aspects to life that some people can't grasp. It is about being able to connect on that level. I think they just say well educated because saying I don't want to date an idiot would not push anyone away. Think about it. Do any of the idiots you know proclaim themselves as idiots? Aside from me.
alphamale Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Saying a person must be well educated (university degree etc) just seems stupid to me and should be a bonus to a relationship rather then a 'must have'. dude, if she's good looking with a hot body i don't care if she's got a 7th grade education.... now if i married someone she would need to have at least a bachelors AND be good lookin' AND have a hot bod...but thats a hard combo to find i've heard that only like 20% of americans have a 4 year degree
Crestfallen_KH Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 i've heard that only like 20% of americans have a 4 year degree Well, more women get degrees than do men, so you have better odds at least!
Storyrider Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I think it is just a polite way of saying, must not be an idiot.
alphamale Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Well, more women get degrees than do men, so you have better odds at least! i don't consider 51% to 49% "better odds"
Dumbledore Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I think it is just a polite way of saying, must not be an idiot. Exactly - don't take it so seriously. Some of the biggest idiots of all have a string of letters after their name. Education is a status symbol - it has nothing to do with how intelligent a person is. Intelligence is something one is born with, and can't be taught - no matter how prestigious the institution.
alphamale Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Education is a status symbol - it has nothing to do with how intelligent a person is. Intelligence is something one is born with, and can't be taught - no matter how prestigious the institution. next time you go to the doctor you should see one who has only a high school diploma
Storyrider Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 next time you go to the doctor you should see one who has only a high school diploma Luckily, I've never considered the ability to remove my gallbladder as a dating criterion.
Dumbledore Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 next time you go to the doctor you should see one who has only a high school diploma That's not a bad idea. My friend has gotten four different diagnoses from as many "specialists." It's a crapshoot out there.
Crestfallen_KH Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 i don't consider 51% to 49% "better odds" I don't want to derail the original intent of the thread, but the statistics are actually 57.5% of women compared to 42.5% of men according to the National Center for Educational Statistics. Women have outnumbered men in terms of enrollment in college since the late 1970s. So yep, better odds.
Dumbledore Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Luckily, I've never considered the ability to remove my gallbladder as a dating criterion. :lmao: Come on, now. It's not a bad thing to keep in mind. At least you're less likely to get into an argument.
Storyrider Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 :lmao: Come on, now. It's not a bad thing to keep in mind. At least you're less likely to get into an argument. Less gall...?
Dumbledore Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I don't want to derail the original intent of the thread, but the statistics are actually 57.5% of women compared to 42.5% of men according to the National Center for Educational Statistics. Women have outnumbered men in terms of enrollment in college since the late 1970s. Yes, science has proven that women have larger, more sophisticated brains. Their brains are superior to men's in almost all respects. Women are more intelligent than men, but their unpredictable mood swings negate this advantage, and then some.
Storyrider Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Yes, science has proven that women have larger, more sophisticated brains. Their brains are superior to men's in almost all respects. Women are more intelligent than men, but their unpredictable mood swings negate this advantage, and then some. :lmao: :lmao:
Author Shnuggles Posted January 31, 2009 Author Posted January 31, 2009 Why would it be an ego trip for an educated person to want to date someone else who's also educated? Hi Star. Well it depends on the reason why they want an educated person? If your area of study was Computer Science and theirs the Arts, would that be the type of person you would want to date still? Does the educated person have to be in the same area of study as yourself? If not then how is it important? Its not an ego trip if you're after someone who you can relate to on a more of an educated level about a particular subject. Things get complicated here however, education is varied in many ways. How educated a person is and compared to what they have studied is very different from person to person. If a person was after someone who has a degree in Computer Science then it really narrows the amount of people you will date. Maybe I am old fashioned but I thought all we needed was the same values (for a long lasting relationship), good communication (less fights) and similar interests (so a couple can be best friends as well as lovers). How education comes into this I don't know. Similar interests? As stated in my first post I personally don't think so. Looking at those three things above I can see where my previous relationships failed. If I could just get all three of those in a woman then I would be very happy.
Star Gazer Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Maybe I am old fashioned but I thought all we needed was the same values (for a long lasting relationship)... How education comes into this I don't know. For many people who are educated, education IS a value that needs to be shared with a partner in a LTR.
wuggle Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 For many people who are educated, education IS a value that needs to be shared with a partner in a LTR. SG are you confusing education with intelligence? IMO , Intelligence is something a person can and often does irrespective of education, it is a keen mind, a desire to learn, an ability to analyse etc. An education is just a measure of what institutions you went to that tried to teach you how to develop intelligence. Intelligent people often like to interact with other intelligent people. I know several well educated people who are not that intelligent and vice versa.
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