JustALittleLost Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Beating around all of the dirty details of how this came about, I started dating a friend of ten months in December. At the end of the month we both moved in together with a friend who has a truly awesome mother. We exchanged the I love you's, had great sex (the only sex I've liked, actually), and spent entirely too much time together. He proposed early on in January and I said yes. Two weeks later and I don't feel anything anymore. Everything he does bothers me now. He hasn't had a job for the past three years (he's 21) and simply lives with whoever will let him. I've been trying to make him apply but he just has no ambition. Where we're staying now we have an agreement of $50 a week for the both of us, which I've been paying and he hasn't even bothered trying to help with. He's messy and never bothers to help clean (he got purple hair dye all over the bathroom and didn't even wipe it up), leaves lights on, doesn't bother putting the sheets back on our bed before he goes to sleep (he always manages to pull them off)... Last night I nearly snapped when I paid our rent with groceries, and he immediately managed to eat half of a giant bag of animal crackers within the hour. I'm even paying for his cigarettes because I can't deal with how pouty and bitchy he is when he doesn't have them. I was actually grateful that my period came because it meant a break in sex. I feel like I should be able to deal with this, but I just... can't. I feel picky, but I know that I can't just keep letting him think I want to get married when I don't feel anything anymore. I don't even want him touching me when we go to bed. I want to sleep on the floor or couch rather than deal with his snoring, night twitching (he has bad muscle spasms, and sometimes he even sits straight up or darts across the room out of a dead sleep), and sleep cuddling. I called my mother (a fight was the initial reason I left) and she's letting me move back home, and he knows that. Now I'm just trying to figure out how to stop dating him without him completely breaking him. I'm all he has really, and he even wrote a song on his guitar for me. I want to be his friend again, how we were before all of this, and i don't know how to convey that. And I'm prepared to be told that I'm an irrational teenager, because I am, so... advice away?
unacceptable62 Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Geez, getting engaged after 2 months is pretty soon. He sounds like the typical moocher. I've never lived with a girlfriend, but I hear that, after about 2 months of living together, things start to get on each others nerves, so that may be what you are feeling as well.
MSUE Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 what's wrong w u? c'mon missy if you don't feel anything why continue to be him? and why are you supporting him ? marry him? he doesn't even has a place of his own!!! it's not fair to him either that you are staying in this relationship god knows why!!!break it off for good this is not healthy for either one of u
whichwayisup Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Be HONEST. You owe him that much.. Don't let fear of hurting him hold you back from ending it and walking away. Put yourself first and just tell him how you feel. Lying or pretending everything is OK to keep him happy isn't right.
Ramrod Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Tell him you think your pregnant. He'll disappear fast.
Author JustALittleLost Posted January 31, 2009 Author Posted January 31, 2009 Tell him you think your pregnant. He'll disappear fast. Funnily enough, that already happened. My period was over a week late and he knew it to. Was excited about it. This is why I'm loathing breaking up with him. He looks forward to settling down when he can't even get a job.
GoneButNotForgotten Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 You have to drop him on his head. It doesn't sound pleasant but don't sugar coat around it. The more you try and ease him down them more he will try and fight for a way back in. This guy is a tool. Drop him like it is nothing and let him take a good long look at himself. Tell him that he isn't responsible enough to enter a commited realationship with. It sucks to hear but you may even be doing him a large favor by doing it. You cannot let him suck you dry. He is lazy and thinks he is a special little snowflake because mommy told him so. Well it is time he wakes up and realize that the real world doesn't care how special he thinks he is.
Island Girl Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 You have to drop him on his head. It doesn't sound pleasant but don't sugar coat around it. The more you try and ease him down them more he will try and fight for a way back in. This guy is a tool. Drop him like it is nothing and let him take a good long look at himself. Tell him that he isn't responsible enough to enter a commited realationship with. It sucks to hear but you may even be doing him a large favor by doing it. You cannot let him suck you dry. He is lazy and thinks he is a special little snowflake because mommy told him so. Well it is time he wakes up and realize that the real world doesn't care how special he thinks he is. Could not agree more!!!
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