MSUE Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Ok guys...while in the process of coping with my boyfriends Heroin relapse and the lying that came along with it...it has been very heartbreaking cause we have always had a very open and trusting relationship but I can't help the tears here and there... the other night I cried myself to sleep again and it woke him up...we held each other and he apologized for what he has put me trough and he just kept saying over and over look what i have put you trough I don't deserve you or to live...then there was silence and then choking noises...when I lifted the conforter his hands were around his neck trying to strangle himself...granted that won't kill a person cause you pass out before...sleep for a bit...but it was nervewrecking... He has been under medical care to detox and prevent relapse again w medication and he's doing much better right now...he looks alive again and it's starting to smile again...I have considered leaving and he knows that...he also knows that I don't play around when I say that...however I'm only leaving if he f***s up again here's my luck recently Lost my job!!! My sissy who is 32 had a massive heart attack...( girl is healthy as hell never smoked never did a drug in her life and eats healthy as hell) My dad had a stroke recently as well... BF relapsed... I could be preggerz...but its kinda unlikely at the same time...first test said negative but my period was 3 weeks late and it finally arrived( I have never been late in that dpt. and its spotting...not quiet my regular period) most of you would tell me go to DR. already did and had my pap and full STD check...everything is good in there) NOW WHAT!!! I mean c'mon how much can a person take at a time...
BikerBeagle Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 "He tried to strangle himself" with his own hands? ...I'm sorry, but ...lol! He's playing you. He knows you are thinking about leaving him and his 'suicide attempt' was purely for the sake of manipulating you into staying, no matter how bad he screws up ...kind of like someone saying, "if you leave me, I'll kill myself! ...THEN you'll be sorry!". Crazy people ...
Author MSUE Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 it's a roller coaster rigth now cause the trust we had before his relapse has gone down the shi**** but I still love him the same that hasn't changed I do worry about his mental health cause I can't help it...everytime I can't get a hold of him I think he is picking up...I do agree with you...it was a manipulating act...do I think he's capable of doing though? Yes i do cause he almost overdosed Saturday night
LikeCharlotte Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 There is no light way to put this MSUE; turn around walk away and get yourself in a good place. Please. He can only help himself and support can come from other sources. You are not a pillar of strength. You are human - though you can be unbelievably strong you cannot put this weight on your shoulders alone. I can't tell you how scary it is to hear this story coming from someone else. It's difficult to believe but I have been there. I know you love him but you need to love yourself. Protect yourself. You deserve to be loved properly. Remember that. Tell him to seek therapy and possibly more outpatient rehabilitation but do not bear this alone any longer. He may betaking responsibility in words but you can see clearly (manipulation indicates this) that he is not ready to treat you or himself the way a person should be treated. You can do better.
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