amerikajin Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Seriously, I just recently started dating a new girl about a month ago. We've actually been friends for about a year and for the longest time I never really thought of her in a sexual way, but things just kinda happened about a month ago. I don't think I've ever quite felt what I am feeling right now with her. The sex is intense and amazing. We go out on dates and we just connect. She gets my sense of humor, and I get hers. I just feel relaxed around her. Sheesh -- I even cook for her! I never do that. A part of me wonders if this is too good to be true. I've already tried to prepare myself for some sort of unexpected shock. I try to tell myself that I would be disappointed if she left but that I would just appreciate the time we've already had, but I also know the longer this goes, the more vulnerable I will become. I'm excited but a bit nervous at the same time.
alphamale Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 thats great man! take things slow and don't forget about your cajones...besides that, have fun if i recall from long ago you had a thing for japanese women....is she japanese?
Author amerikajin Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 thats great man! take things slow and don't forget about your cajones...besides that, have fun if i recall from long ago you had a thing for japanese women....is she japanese? She's Chinese. Yeah, I am definitely trying to pace this thing, but this is different from any kind of relationship I've had before. I mean, usually after about the second or third date I'm either bored or I'm trying to keep my distance and establish my space. One thing that's cool about this chic is that she doesn't always call me all the time. She's interested in me, but she doesn't smother me. I can communicate with her in a way that I haven't been able to with other women. It just doesn't seem like I'm trying or thinking about things. I don't have to deal with any emotional dramas or attitudes. The whole thing has been easy and natural from the start. I just wish I would have seen the potential for this a while ago. Better late than never, I suppose.
unacceptable62 Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 It's great that you are happy. But wait until the newness wears off, that is when you determine if you really love her or not.
carhill Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Emotional intimacy without drama. Nirvana. Hope you two are compatible. Good luck mate
melodymatters Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Very cool A ! I have always greatly enjoyed your political pots, it's nice to see your "softer side' The beginnings are always scary/fun because of all the heightened emotions, brain chemicals etc. The mutual comfort sounds like a VERY good thing. Sounds like you were posting to share, more than seek advice, so quite simply : Have fun, relax and enjoy the ride ! MM
tanbark813 Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I've already tried to prepare myself for some sort of unexpected shock. She's going to reveal that she's a Republican.
Author amerikajin Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 She's going to reveal that she's a Republican. I guess I could live with that
alphamale Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 One thing that's cool about this chic is that she doesn't always call me all the time. She's interested in me, but she doesn't smother me. I can communicate with her in a way that I haven't been able to with other women. It just doesn't seem like I'm trying or thinking about things. I don't have to deal with any emotional dramas or attitudes. The whole thing has been easy and natural from the start. thats probably cause you knew her for a while... I guess I could live with that indeed, they say those republican females are conservative on the outside but wild 'n crazy in the bedroom
Author amerikajin Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 thats probably cause you knew her for a while... I'm sure that's a big factor. I feel like I already know her to some degree, though there's a part of her that I haven't seen or known for all this time. We've hung out before on several occasions but I was in a relationship that was okay but eventually fizzled. We kinda hooked up one night about a month ago. It was one of those things where I think we were becoming friends and as we became closer we could also sense that there was more to it than just friendship. The funny thing is, even when I kissed her, I was thinking that it wasn't really that big a deal at first. But every time we hang out, we can actually carry on a conversation for hours. We joke around a lot. And even better yet, we f*^k a lot too. :cool: I don't find her to be a sex goddess or anything, but she's awesome in bed. The chemistry we have in bed is good (at least for me anyway - hope it's mutual). I feel like the feelings that we share when we talk come out when we get it on. Mentally, I'm still prepared for anything. I know things may not work out in the long-run. I'm trying to enjoy what I have while I have it. If it weren't to work out, I'd obviously be disappointed at this stage but I could probably move on and smile over some of the memories. I know that the farther this relationship goes the more emotionally tied people become. A part of me is questioning myself, wondering whether I am really ready to do that. I don't know...I guess sometimes in life a person has to take risks. I don't do this for just anybody, so hopefully my gut's right on this one. But your earlier points are well-taken. I remember why I came to this site in the first place. I remember about six years ago now dating after ending a two year relationship (the only one I'd ever really had up to that point). I remember dating and feeling like I didn't know anything about women. I'd get jerked around. I'd go out with a woman and never get a second date. I'd get cancelled on. I wondered what in the hell was going on because women had always told me that I was basically attractive, but clearly there was something I didn't quite get. I knew I needed to learn about how to attract women. I've come a long way from the wussified boy who didn't know how to keep a woman for more than two dates since joining this site a few years back. I know I still need to evolve and mature in some other ways and I'm trying to do that, but if nothing else, I'm thankful for what I've learned. I've learned that you always have to play it cool no matter what happens. A guy deals with a lot of crap he can't control, so he has to control how he reacts to it. If a girl flakes out, he can't control that; he can only control how he deals with flaking out. A man has to be in control of himself. Whatever happens, I hope to maintain that self-control and self-respect. A man should focus on the positives...what he has versus what he doesn't, his strengths as opposed to his weaknesses. Life is better that way.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I'm in a very similar situation to you...sometimes you just have to go with it and don't question it too much. When I find myself really thinking about it, or wondering if he feels the same way I do, I start to get anxious. And we all know that is not attractive. Good luck!
wuggle Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Excellent, at last I can advise Amerikajin, every other time were on the same thread you know more than me. My advice - stop being so defensive, yes you are a little scared that this won't work out, that you might get hurt, etc etc . Welcome to real life. That stupid old saying "better to have loved and lost..." it's true. Commit, don't not do things because your scared, make sure she knows how you feel. What is the worst that can happen, you look stupid , so what. Go for it, good luck.
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