unacceptable62 Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I have been dating my current girlfriend for more than 2.5 years now (by far the longest of my 21-year life) and absolutely love her (I know that she's the one, blah blah). Things could not be better from the relationship standpoint. It is long-distance for 7 months out of the year, too, which has allowed us to build a tremendous amount of trust and respect for each other. Anyway, we started having sex early on (something I wish I could take back) and, at first, it was great because we were both virgins. However, over the past few months, I have gotten "bored" with it (we never do anything other than me on top or her on top). On top of that, she seems uninterested with it as well. Now, she has traditional beliefs and has told me multiple times that she doesn't want to do anything "crazy" and I respect that, but what can I do to spice it up?
Author unacceptable62 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 Just to note, I don't want to make this sound like I'm in it purely for the sex. I'm not. This is definitely not something that is a deal breaker for us, and I hesitate even bringing it up to her. I just want to personally do something to satisfy myself more.
boldjack Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Communication is key. Talk about what's bothering you and ask her what things she's willing (and comfortable about) trying.
Author unacceptable62 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 I've tried that in the past and I just get this "I don't know" answer. She is very indecisive about things, and it is maddening.
Enema Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 You don't ask a woman. You tell them. Be a man and take charge. You want more exciting sex, you initiate it. A conversation about how to get more raunchy? lol.
doushenka Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I've tried that in the past and I just get this "I don't know" answer. She is very indecisive about things, and it is maddening. You say she's got traditional values? She may not have been brought up to consider what pleases her sexually beyond "omg sex!" Could be time for a little research on her part. I suggest good old-fashioned erotica. ;-)
MSUE Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Throw her around in bed...a simple thing like switching position can make it more enjoyable...and different...also when you feel comfortable in your own skin experimenting is more likely to happen...What's wrong with good old doggy style? Oral? sideways ? there's so much to explore...
boldjack Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 U62, Have you tried to be more forceful? Maybe she WANTS someone to take charge. You don't have to drag her by the hair, But if she is an indecisive person maybe that will provide a spark. Goodluck
Still Trying Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 IME the "I don't know" response is a sign of immaturity. She knows exactly what she wants but is afraid to hurt your feelings. Could be wrong but I'd bet that's the case. Maybe she doesn't like sex? Do you make her cum?
Squirtal Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Still Trying.. i wouldn't say that..I'm a big 35 and I have to say I get all flustered when my partner asks me that...not as bad as I did when I was younger...but I can be shy in expressing what I want vocally...prefer my man to take the lead..he'll know if I don't like it. As I said I'm not as bad as I was maybe 5 years ago..but still.. Mind you, I'm a bit of a strange one anyway..LOL
Author unacceptable62 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 IME the "I don't know" response is a sign of immaturity. She knows exactly what she wants but is afraid to hurt your feelings. Could be wrong but I'd bet that's the case. Maybe she doesn't like sex? Do you make her cum? She has never been afraid to speak her mind, regardless of if I would get upset, and she knows that it wouldn't upset me if she did about this, so I do think you are wrong there. And yes, I do make her cum (not every single time, but most of the time)
RRyan65 Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 You want to put it in her butt, don't you? Not every relationship will achieve this milestone, but at 2.5 yrs relationship with two very young individuals who are getting bored of sex, anal may be the only saving grace.
Author unacceptable62 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 I've brought it up before, definitely. And we tried, but before I could even get it all the way in, she pulled out and said she would never do it again. The main thing that I have been advocating is that we get an IUD inserted so that we don't have to deal with condoms anymore (I hate those stupid things). She is open to this, but wants to wait a little bit.
RRyan65 Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I've brought it up before, definitely. And we tried, but before I could even get it all the way in, she pulled out and said she would never do it again. The main thing that I have been advocating is that we get an IUD inserted so that we don't have to deal with condoms anymore (I hate those stupid things). She is open to this, but wants to wait a little bit. Now we're getting to the meat and potatoes of the issue. Condoms are a no-go. Do not tell me you've been using condoms most everytime for the past 2.5 yrs?!?!? You're a soldier. I will probably get flack for this, (and maybe I'm steril) but pulling out is better than condom usage. **** that. Technically, man, you're still a virgin. Back to the anal sex deal; make sure she's lying on her back the first time you do it and all I can say is use plenty of lube and just keep working on it. AND FOR GOD SAKE DONT USE A CONDOM.
Author unacceptable62 Posted January 31, 2009 Author Posted January 31, 2009 You have no idea. I really hate condoms. In fact, there are times when I just can't keep it up after putting a condom on. We have had sex without a condom before (I would pull out) but it causes her to freak out until her next period, so it wasn't worth it. We have discussed birth control (see: IUD) before, but we have really started talking about it a lot lately.
socialight Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 5-1 odds she is not having orgams or if she is, she is faking them. If she is not interested in sex with you then she is either not enjoying it or has serious issues with the relationship. This is a symptom of a serious problem. Take it seriously. Open communication is a must.
Enema Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Another good one she might like is Depo Provera. It's an injection her doctor can give. A quick shot in the arm, and she's baby (and period) free for 3 months. My wife's on it and it's grrrrrreat.
Recommended Posts