OCCDAVE Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 My ex text me at the start of the week telling me friday was a good day to pick up my stuff .I never replied i saved the text for proof incase she tried saying she never said it.I got a text a minute ago saying this below I'm going with with my friend tomorrow so i wont be home sorry How do i respond to that and do i keep the cooler head cause now shes annoying me.My friend even said dont be shocked if thursday night she text u and makes some type of an excuse about coming over.
Knight_Ctrl Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 I would recommend just figuring when she'd be home and just showing up getting your **** and leaving. You've tried being a nice guy, time to stop trying. She doesn't deserve it
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 29, 2009 Author Posted January 29, 2009 I would recommend just figuring when she'd be home and just showing up getting your **** and leaving. You've tried being a nice guy, time to stop trying. She doesn't deserve itthat's the thing im trying to be a nice guy maybe its time to be a jerk and say im coming this day goodbye.I don't know why she is stalling even if she's going out it will take not even 10 mins tops to get all my stuff.I was thinking ask once again when's a good day for her if she cancels then its time to bring in law.
audrey_1 Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Is this "stuff" all that important? If not, I say forget it. She's not being accommodating, and you should move on and heal. Seriously. How long would it take for you to drop by? She offered. She's being rude. Let her have your stuff.
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 Is this "stuff" all that important? If not, I say forget it. She's not being accommodating, and you should move on and heal. Seriously. How long would it take for you to drop by? She offered. She's being rude. Let her have your stuff.The stuff is valued at over 1,000 bucks and i wont lie reason its taken this long is i've been trying to heal.Maybe she thinks im gonna show up begging her or something it just makes no sense.You didn't think twice about throwing 3 years down the drain and finding in a guy in a week then i know ur not afraid to tell me come pick up ur crap and get lost what gives.Maybe guilt is taking over her or what ?
Knight_Ctrl Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 yeah I know you're being a nice guy. thats my point stop doing it, you need to get your stuff back from her sooner rather than later or its just going to drag everything out longer. Me, I left most of my stuff with her, granted it wasn't anything terribly important, but let her keep it and cause her pain, **** her.
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 yeah I know you're being a nice guy. thats my point stop doing it, you need to get your stuff back from her sooner rather than later or its just going to drag everything out longer. Me, I left most of my stuff with her, granted it wasn't anything terribly important, but let her keep it and cause her pain, **** her.Well why do u think shes stalling like i said she had no trouble telling me to get lost so why alll of a sudden is she so busy.Like i said it will take 10 minutes if even and she knows that so im lost to whats her reason
Knight_Ctrl Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I would say she is just outright trying to keep your stuff, which is messed up.
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 I would say she is just outright trying to keep your stuff, which is messed up.Keeping im not gonna really say if i had to guess maybe something got broken and shes stalling till she can replace it .I dunno i feel like once again texting her well whens a good day next week and if she cancels again then take legal action.See she may think shes got power over me still but im asking when its ok for her so if i do go the legal route she doesnt make up some bs story i popped up when she was busy and stormed in her house demanding my stuff.
Knight_Ctrl Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Keeping im not gonna really say if i had to guess maybe something got broken and shes stalling till she can replace it .I dunno i feel like once again texting her well whens a good day next week and if she cancels again then take legal action.See she may think shes got power over me still but im asking when its ok for her so if i do go the legal route she doesnt make up some bs story i popped up when she was busy and stormed in her house demanding my stuff. Yeah man, give her another chance then take some legal action. That would at least show her that you aren't ****ing around about wanting to get over her. If you feel, text her again (or call just to be more direct). If that doesn't work get a hold of some authorities. Be ready to prove its your stuff though.
Tryng2Trust08 Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 She is playing games with you....get your stuff out of her place and move on with your life. Dont try to drag it out with legal action, etc...its going to cause you pain. Get your stuff ASAP or have someone else get it.
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 She is playing games with you....get your stuff out of her place and move on with your life. Dont try to drag it out with legal action, etc...its going to cause you pain. Get your stuff ASAP or have someone else get it.I'm trying but how do i get my stuff back when she tells me its ok to come on a day then last minute cancel on me.
lonelygurl Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 How far do you live from this girl? text her and tell her you'll be there before she leaves with her friend to get your stuff.
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 How far do you live from this girl? text her and tell her you'll be there before she leaves with her friend to get your stuff.She lives about an hour away she knows this wont take any longer then like i said 10 mins .Id like to think in a dream world maybe she is having cold feet and is to scared to seem me ugh ya right.I am having a tough enough time so far this week now this.
lonelygurl Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 She lives about an hour away she knows this wont take any longer then like i said 10 mins .Id like to think in a dream world maybe she is having cold feet and is to scared to seem me ugh ya right.I am having a tough enough time so far this week now this. I don't know what to say to help you with that one. I'm having a really bad week myself. I am so full of anger and hatred it is unimaginable. I swear I could do some serious harm to him. I feel so full of hate and anger towards him and myself for allowing it to happen. I feel I have wasted so many years on someone who was not worthy of me. And it is funny when I had finally started dating again and met many friends (male and female through canoe personals) so many of them told me not to take him back, and how he didn't deserve me for what he put me through the first time and how pissed off he got for them saying it. I wish i had of listened to them. I'm so sick of all of this....I truly am. I swear I will never let another man into my life other than for sex.
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 I know how u feel heck seeing the number on my phone started to tick me off.I am not perfect by any means but I tried my best for this girl and her kids and it didn't matter.I had many times I could have said you know what ur nice and all but I don't wanna deal with u but no I worked stuff out for the kids.I was even worried about this happening but she told me unless u give ur heart to someone (meaning her) you may be missing on a good chance .ya good chance almost 3 years later u bail and owe me no reason at all and ur living it up.sigh
badbrit Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I have not read your whole story and I am sure it is here somewhere so my thoughts may not be correct BUT I am going to say this anyway. I am not going to talk about your relationship, what happened, who did what to who, who is the bad guy, who tried and who didnt etc because as hard as it is, that is now in the past and we must somehow live in the present and I know how hard that is, believe me on that. The current is that you are two people who were in a relationship, one that did not work out for whatever reason. You are now two seperate people with your own lives. That is hard for the one who wishes it was different but it is how it is. IF one person cannot handle it then the best solution for that person is to erase them from their lives as much as possible. If you have no ties (Children, business etc) then NC is the only way and it WILL eventually fade. If you have ties (children etc) then it has to be LC and contact only when neccessary and stick to the matter at hand. So onto current. You have belongings at her property and need to get them back. That is the be all and end all of your current situation. There is nothing else to talk about and no other ties. Get your stuff without talking about anything else anyway you can then walk away. She text you and you did not respond for whatever reason. Well that is plain rude, simple as that, it is rude. A simple acknowledgement would have sufficed. She now says she has made plans. So what? Big deal. She may have made plans because she was not going to waste a weekend night when she did not know if you were coming or not, which she wouldnt if you have not even bothered to reply to her. Act like a grown up and make arrangements, firm arrangements to collect your belongings. Simple. Ask when she will be in and next time she texts, actually acknowledge it and say you will be there. Then go and get your stuff, walk out the door and there need not be any further contact and you can start dealing with the healing.
badbrit Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Ok I just sped read some of your older threads. Dave man, I am sorry you are finding this so hard, I wish i could say it will just get easier but that is not true, not strictly. It will eventually but when you really love someone and they dump you it does take a long time and a lot of lows before you come out the other end BUT you WILL come out the other end and be happy. I stick to what I said about just getting your stuff as I can see so many threads of yours of her breaking NC in your opinion but the contact has always been (except one text of you ruining her life) her trying to get you to pick up your stuff and your anger making you not be rationale. You are hurting dave, really hurting and you have to get your stuff and be done with it. I believe she has said it is all boxed up so just arrange a time to go and get the boxes then there is no excuse for contact. IF she tries to contact then ignore it. Put it in the past. It is hard, I am 34 and experienced with a divorce behind me and other significant relationships. But the most recent one who dumped me last April after 5 years is still under my skin and it hurts like a mofo. We live in a small town and it is hard. She does not care at all for me and I just always tried my best for her but it was always misinterpetted or twisted against me and yeah she cheated a couple times as well. It hurts like hell at times and I cannot do NC as we have a three year old boy together. Since New Years I do not talk to her, I take our lad without speaking, I do not look at her, if I drive past her I ignore her, i do not go into town on the weekend because she is always out, drunk and pulling a lad etc. It all seems very rude but it is the only way, pretending she does not exist. She dislikes how rude I am and I even told her I still love her and it is hard for me and this is the only way but she does not understand because she does not have those feelings and the feelings are what make it hard for us. I am doing what I have to do and I do not care how rude I appear. I just do not communicate with her but do not bad mouth her, am not obnoxious etc, I just try to pretend she does not exist. So I envy you, if I could NC and never see her again then i could move past it but I am stuck because of our lad and the contact we have to have a couple times a week exchanging him. So get your stuff and then NC, it does work and you are lucky that you are in a position to NC her for life.
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 Thanks for all the great advice.I can see where she may have made plans so the day isn't wasted but she told me come in the morning and it isn't gonna take long to get my stuff at all.I won't lie ya I am very hurt heck maybe the times she did text me I was angry cause it wasn't something I wanted to read or her saying sorry.I guess that's my biggest grip how she had no remorse and dropped me and took those kids away from me.I guess ill never know how in a span of a week ur asking me to marry u and the following week in someone elses arms ugh.I still miss her a great deal heck she's my first love I gave her something I never shared with anyone else sigh.today marks a month and 3 weeks nc so if nothing else I got something as a victory.
Truly Lost Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I think she wants you to have your things back, but doesn't want to take the time to make it happen. Maybe she is a little afraid to see you or possibly she is just really busy and doesn't want to inconvenience herself by waiting around for you to come by. Either way the situation is uncomforatable for both of you and really does finalize your breakup. She is probably having difficulty coming to terms with that. Maybe she thinks that you will try to take this opportunity to have a long talk to reconcile the relationship and she isn't into that. Only she can tell you whats going on.
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 So how's this for a text. Its np when's a good day for you next week Depending on what she says then reply saying sounds good thanks or no
Knight_Ctrl Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 So how's this for a text. Its np when's a good day for you next week Depending on what she says then reply saying sounds good thanks or no I really would like to know what she says
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 31, 2009 Author Posted January 31, 2009 She said maybe wednesday im not sure Grrr now what
Knight_Ctrl Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Now you stop being a nice guy and text her "look, I dont know why you're putting this off but im coming to get my stuff in the next few days, tell me when or im going to get the authorities" even if you dont get the cops (and im sure you wont have to) she'll know you mean business and you'll have your stuff back soon
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 31, 2009 Author Posted January 31, 2009 Thing that made me mad she said maybe wednesday sorry but no one is every that busy.sigh I don't know what's going on
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