surviving you Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 alright...its been like 4 months....ish i felt like ****, I felt worthless , I felt anger, I hated myself blah blah blah guess what....... I like me , I like life, IM ME AGAIN im happy , im not depressed anymore, thats not to say I wont be upset over everything that happened again , I probably will be , but for now I found the old me that I thought I had lost anyway....to those struggling and wondering will **** get better... IT DOES AND WILL love yourself , and keep that NC up p.s. I am afraid of how I will react when I do hear from her or find out shes with someone ect ect... but whatever ill get over it suround yourself with your friends, the people that matter and keep that NC up for sure I hope this gives comfort to someone peace and love to all you guys
Zammo25 Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 alright...its been like 4 months....ish i felt like ****, I felt worthless , I felt anger, I hated myself blah blah blah guess what....... I like me , I like life, IM ME AGAIN im happy , im not depressed anymore, thats not to say I wont be upset over everything that happened again , I probably will be , but for now I found the old me that I thought I had lost anyway....to those struggling and wondering will **** get better... IT DOES AND WILL love yourself , and keep that NC up p.s. I am afraid of how I will react when I do hear from her or find out shes with someone ect ect... but whatever ill get over it suround yourself with your friends, the people that matter and keep that NC up for sure I hope this gives comfort to someone peace and love to all you guys I have done NC for 24 days since she finished with me and it is getting harder each day not easier. I have self loathing, low self esteem and no self confidence anymore. I seem to have no idenity without her in my life. I feel lost. I look at myself in the mirrir and hate what I see and think how will anyone ever want you in their lives. I am a pitiful wreck and each day is a black hole and hell. What can I do as I am living in hell ?.
Author surviving you Posted January 29, 2009 Author Posted January 29, 2009 I have done NC for 24 days since she finished with me and it is getting harder each day not easier. I have self loathing, low self esteem and no self confidence anymore. I seem to have no idenity without her in my life. I feel lost. I look at myself in the mirrir and hate what I see and think how will anyone ever want you in their lives. I am a pitiful wreck and each day is a black hole and hell. What can I do as I am living in hell ?. I was there, I used to come home from my morning classes at 10 and get drunk by myself and just sit around and cry , everything else you described fits my bill too what helped me was having my friends there, having a hobby to keep my mind busy but I think the biggest thing was I used to talk to my friends about it , getting my thoughts out and feelings to someone helped and took a weight off my chest.....but after awhile it gets old, your just saying the same thing over and over " I miss her " , " wtf did I do to deserve this " , " who would wanna be with me " I said what I needed to say to get everything out , listened to what the ones close to me had to say and never brought it up again , I think less about it in general now that im not constantly complaining and moping and whining overall though time is the key, let yourself feel the loss, dont try to skip past it , but when its time to move on MOVE ON , dont dwell and keep that NC up I know me saying all that sounds like a bunch of feel good bull****, but it really helped me do things to better yourself, be around friends, learn something new
Zammo25 Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 I was there, I used to come home from my morning classes at 10 and get drunk by myself and just sit around and cry , everything else you described fits my bill too what helped me was having my friends there, having a hobby to keep my mind busy but I think the biggest thing was I used to talk to my friends about it , getting my thoughts out and feelings to someone helped and took a weight off my chest.....but after awhile it gets old, your just saying the same thing over and over " I miss her " , " wtf did I do to deserve this " , " who would wanna be with me " I said what I needed to say to get everything out , listened to what the ones close to me had to say and never brought it up again , I think less about it in general now that im not constantly complaining and moping and whining overall though time is the key, let yourself feel the loss, dont try to skip past it , but when its time to move on MOVE ON , dont dwell and keep that NC up I know me saying all that sounds like a bunch of feel good bull****, but it really helped me do things to better yourself, be around friends, learn something new I have nver been a car crash like this before and I am 46 not some student. I go to work but cannot focus on work and my business and income is suffering due to my lack of motivation which I can ill afford especially in these terrible economic times. I live on my own and get home and get the bottle of wine and spirits out and drink until I dull the pain and feel so exhausted I go to bed and have crap sleep. I have done this the whole of tJanuary and cannot carry on as my liver will pack up. I am on a self destruct path and cannot seem to switch lanes. My last relationship was 13 years and I went through 6 months of loss but this is something different maybe as she dumped me as decided I was not worth having in her life anymore and that is a bitter pill to have to swallow.
Author surviving you Posted January 29, 2009 Author Posted January 29, 2009 I dont know what to say man, Im sorry about how you feel I would go to see a psychologist, sounds like your head to hardcore depression if your not already there im sorry , I just thought sharing what happened to me would help someone, one size does not fit all I hope you get better man
DJMarky Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I have done NC for 24 days since she finished with me and it is getting harder each day not easier. I have self loathing, low self esteem and no self confidence anymore. I seem to have no idenity without her in my life. I feel lost. I look at myself in the mirrir and hate what I see and think how will anyone ever want you in their lives. I am a pitiful wreck and each day is a black hole and hell. What can I do as I am living in hell ?. Hmm, I did NC for the first few days. She tried calling and texting but I ignored, but it didn't get better. I was still so angry at the way she treated me, and I couldn't help myself. I sent her a very abusive sms, which she then immediately phoned back. We argued, then settled down. We both know where we stand and I feel I have said everything I needed to. I think doing NC now will be much easier for me now. Maybe if you got it all out you wouldn't feel as if you still had something to say and a reason to contact her. I told my ex everything I had to stay and why I broke up with her (she's a bitch). She is already screwing some other dude, but I think hell, I wouldn't want to be with her anyways. I think she has some mental disorder, shes a strange girl and has to sort out some issues before I would consider dating her again. She is very superficial, but feels she is the most mature person in the world. This coming from the girl that when I first met her she had pictures of her in lingerie on her myspace posing. She told me how she finished work, saw the guy she is with currently in the city, but avoided him because she was in her work clothes and didn't think she looked hot. Wow, what a turn off. Just made me realise i couldn't marry a girl like her. Anyways, I am rambling.
alwayssme Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 depending on the relationship u had and the love u felt..u do not move on completely after 4 months...i hate it when people come after 2-3 months like "im completely over my ex" (not saying this is you so please dont misunderstand)...the reason why i'm saying this is because i have done it myself...at that point said IM OVER HIM!!! then i realize im not i still miss him....when you were "expecting" the relationship to end or when thigns were going wrong for awhile...its kind of easier...but when it was unexpected n with no closure its much harder because of the shock/denial/confusion/hurt etc....i believe it takes awhile to FULLY get over someone....seriously..however that doesnt mean that your going to be depressed and hurting all the time..but u will have those days when u still miss them....its kind of weird...love is weird...
alwayssme Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 and zammo at the begining i was that way too...but it does get better with time...however the pain was too much to take, it was excruciating and i will never underestimate how much i went through...honestly even an apology at this point doesnt matter because the hurt was felt so deeply by me and only ME...nothing can undo it...it has gotten better though but still.....
ate_the_paint Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 The OP is absolutely correct. Time does heal, but there are certain things you need to avoid. Don't sit around at home everyday moping. Spend as much time with friends and doing interesting things as you can. The OP mentioned hobbies; that's a great way to rebuild yourself after a breakup. If you don't have anyone to hang out with, go take up an activity that you enjoy and that you never did with your ex. It's a very powerful feeling to say "Hey, look what I enjoy doing. This is my new identity and it's MINE". Be selfish; you no longer have to base your decisions around another person, and it is very liberating! I remember my 4-month mark and that's when I started making some important life decisions after months of darkness. Now I never look back!
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