FIREMAN Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 My GF & I "broke up" 2 weeks ago. In that time, I did not initiate any contact w\her. She contacted me within 2 days of the break up and proceeded to call me several tx's since then. I returned or answered her calls, but never initiated. The ONLY tx I called her was to congratulate her on becoming an aunt last week. She has continued to call me. 2 days ago, she called and wanted to make me my Favorite Choc Chip Cookies, cause she knows I love hers. She said it was cold and they'd make me feel good. I was very sick and couldn't eat ANYTHING, so she said she'd make em this wknd 4 me again. In my opinion she wants to continue the relationship, otherwise why go out of the way to keep calling, being sweet, etc. I txtd her last night to ask her to go to a superbowl party w\me and she replied she's "going to her bros, that is for now". She didn't invite me. I'm rarely allowed to go to family events. Some weird family rule... I asked her to go to the party a month before our break up also. I didn't reply to her answer. Last year she blew me off to go to her girlfriend's superbowl party. Her blowing me off for everything else is the main reason I broke up w\her and she knows that. So, What's her deal?
Geishawhelk Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 Well, let's face it, you are either broken up, or you're not. All this contact and sweet talking, and going out, and seeing each other - would suggest that even if there is no sexual contact (is there?) then the relationship is still very much on, even if it's shifted to a platonic level. If you two are definitively and undeniably broken up, then you both have to be strong enough to cease all contact, and diversify. meet other people. Don't keep tabs on one another, and don't bake cookies and go to games together! It's either on - or it's off!! Which is it to be?
Author FIREMAN Posted January 29, 2009 Author Posted January 29, 2009 I would like it to be on, but she NEEDS to put me first and make our relationship a priority. She says she loves me, etc etc etc, but for some reason is afraid to put me first. I say afraid, because at tx's she does and then instantly afterward, she withdraws 100%, sometimes for several days. I broke it off w\her and said I'd still like to remain friends, but I feel she WANTS more, but can't bring herself to live up to it...
Star Gazer Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 You were together a long time. She misses the comfort of having you around, which is undertstandable. However, she's also told you that she's not sexually attracted to you. The passion is gone. There is no "romantic relationship" left. She's using you as an emotional crutch. I'd go full NC at this point to move on.
mclovin Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 Her behavior is uncommon. It sounds like she wants to pursue you back into the relationship but then when you give a little interest, she backs away for whatever reason. Strange. Why don't you ask her?
Geishawhelk Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 I would like it to be on, but she NEEDS to put me first and make our relationship a priority.... I take it you feel the same way towards her, but it's just that she can't commit to that? Yes, I'm sorry, you really are going to have to tell her to keep her cookies - and everything else besides. Block off all and any means of being contacted by her, and have the good grace to behave in the same way towards her. See, I know she initiated contact every time - but - you answered. That just leads her on and makes her believe that it's all a bit of a game, and all she needs to do is wave cutely and offer you a dish of cookies..... Any attempt on her part to contact you has to - absolutely HAS TO - be met with a wall of silence. Totally.
Still Trying Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 Her blowing me off for everything else is the main reason I broke up w\her and she knows that. So, What's her deal? She wants a boyfriend who's conveniently "over there" so when she feels like she needs you, guess who'll still be there patiently waiting? You. It's BS, and I agree you need to leave her alone, she's never going to give you what you need. NC! Move on.
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